What does Sheryl Crow smell like?

parados wrote:

Setanta wrote:
They talked about this briefly on the CBC today. One person commented that Americans use 57 squares of TP per day, and said that some sources say that Americans use 100 squares per day.

Jeeze . . . maybe i'm a freak or something, but i can't imagine using 100 squares a day. Maybe i don't poop often enough.

The more squares stuck to the bottom of your shoe or hanging out of your pants the funnier it is. Slapstick humor requires more toilet paper. Don't give us 'mericans none of that subtle humor.

More slappy poop and penis humor for the dumb 'mericans!!!!

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And "Snood humor" would be an oxymoron.

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Setanta wrote:

They talked about this briefly on the CBC today. One person commented that Americans use 57 squares of TP per day, and said that some sources say that Americans use 100 squares per day.

Jeeze . . . maybe i'm a freak or something, but i can't imagine using 100 squares a day. Maybe i don't poop often enough.

That is way too much information than needed, and who the hell are the "sources" doing this survey.... and how did they do it....and couldn't they get a better job?

questions....I have so many questions. Confused

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Mame wrote:

If those numbers are an average, then it applies to both genders, right? I think it safe to say that women use far more t.p. than do men, wouldn't you agree?

100 squares... how many would you use each time? Say a woman, using more than a man, uses an average of 12 sheets per event, that would mean she's in the loo 8 or 9 times a day.

I can see that, for someone who pees a lot.

What a topic

12 sheets to wipe yourself for a pee?! Shocked

That's a little overkill for dabbing your cooter.

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Some people have big cooters and need the extra tp, Chai. Jeeze. Make them feel worse about it why don't cha.

Seriously though, I figure that each square of tp is about 4 inches long. Add 12 of them and you have 48 inches of tp in one sitting. To pee. To poo, ok I can see that because well, the mess is a little bigger. But 48 inches to pee??? That's 4 feet of tp. Good grief.

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Chai wrote:

Mame wrote:
If those numbers are an average, then it applies to both genders, right? I think it safe to say that women use far more t.p. than do men, wouldn't you agree?

100 squares... how many would you use each time? Say a woman, using more than a man, uses an average of 12 sheets per event, that would mean she's in the loo 8 or 9 times a day.

I can see that, for someone who pees a lot.

What a topic

12 sheets to wipe yourself for a pee?!

That's a little overkill for dabbing your cooter.

cooter

Cooter: N the holiest of holies, the place all men aspire to be. Often paired with large, flappy labia known as "Beef Curtains." The appearance of the Cooter is usually heralded by the distinct reek of low tide.

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geesh, you all have way too much time on your hands....

and I can't believe I'm actually reading this, so I guess I've got too much time too

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Chai wrote:

Mame wrote:
If those numbers are an average, then it applies to both genders, right? I think it safe to say that women use far more t.p. than do men, wouldn't you agree?

100 squares... how many would you use each time? Say a woman, using more than a man, uses an average of 12 sheets per event, that would mean she's in the loo 8 or 9 times a day.

I can see that, for someone who pees a lot.

What a topic

12 sheets to wipe yourself for a pee?!

That's a little overkill for dabbing your cooter.

Well, I don't dab, I wipe, and I don't like to touch my pee Laughing

Gee, d'ya think excessive paper is contributing to the greenhouse effect? Laughing

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Ok so I just peed and used 12 squares. It was quite a bundle and felt nice on my bum.

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Bella Dea wrote:

Some people have big cooters and need the extra tp,.

Did your high school nickname happen to include the word "fist?"

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I often try to explain to people what this forum does, how the depth of the political discussion is beyond the norm of others -intense, but informed-, frank and open to a vast spectrum of ideas.

I talk about the travel threads and the language threads and the history threads and how interesting it is to get the learned views of so many persons from all over the world.

Some of those people have come here looking for that.

All of them find threads like this one.

Joe(most never speak to me again.)Nation

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
Some people have big cooters and need the extra tp,.

Did your high school nickname happen to include the word "fist?"

You should know slappy. Let's not pretend any more....

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Well, that's how I got my name, "elbow."

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Oh Joe (get over it) Nation, these are pressing times, we all have
to poop, right?

Frankly, I never count the sheets. Some days I feel more generous
than others, but I still don't count: the sheet size has to be comparable
to the "business" size.

Please wash your hands on the way out!

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Roger had the funniest line:

roger wrote:

Or maybe she gets more mileage out of a square by using both sides.

Joe(Roger: you owe me a coffee 'cuz you made me spit up mine.)Nation

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Bella Dea wrote:

Ok so I just peed and used 12 squares. It was quite a bundle and felt nice on my bum.

Why were you putting your cooter paper on your bum?

Well, all I have to say is if we're taking the proper amount of TP relative to the size of our cooters, I'd be cutting each sheet into eigths and would have enough for the day.

I'm not overly fond of touching my pee either, but 12!!!???... Confused

Are you standing on your head to pee?

It's my pee anyway, and if my hand touches some damp tissue from absorption of pee from my cooter area, I know there's a sink a few feet away.

Someone told me the other day that pee gets off gun residue from your hands.

just in case anyone needed to know.

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Chai wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
Ok so I just peed and used 12 squares. It was quite a bundle and felt nice on my bum.

Why were you putting your cooter paper on your bum?

Well, all I have to say is if we're taking the proper amount of TP relative to the size of our cooters, I'd be cutting each sheet into eigths and would have enough for the day.

I'm not overly fond of touching my pee either, but 12!!!???... Are you standing on your head to pee?

It's my pee anyway, and if my hand touches some damp tissue from absorption of pee from my cooter area, I know there's a sink a few feet away.

Someone told me the other day that pee gets off gun residue from your hands.

just in case anyone needed to know.

Has anyone told gunga, cjhsa, omsigdavid etc about the gun residue bit?

If you're cutting one sheet into 8ths, one wonders how big your man is! Laughing

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

And "Snood humor" would be an oxymoron.

You're the one who thinks he's funny.

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snood wrote:

Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
And "Snood humor" would be an oxymoron.

You're the one who thinks he's funny.

And you're the one who likes to point out how unfunny others are, as if you have any clue. I think of you as the wet blanket of A2K. Quick, I think I heard someone on another thread making a penis joke! You'd better run off and make sure nobody laughs!

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take one square of tp. tear a tiny corner off. now put your finger right through middle of the remaining square. wipe your ass with your finger. Now, here's the tricky part, wrap the paper around your finger and wipe it off. The small corner you tore off is to clean under your fingernail.

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What does Sheryl Crow smell like?

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