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Mon 23 Apr, 2007 05:52 am
I am not normally a vengeful person. My usual response to the misdeeds of others to me is to either let it go, or if the issue is serious, cut that person out of my life.
Many of you have read my thread about my SIL, and the habit she had of sending multiple forwards to me by E Mail. After many years, I do believe that she has finally learned, and she is sending me stuff bcc.
The results of her misbehavior lives on. Whereas I had never received spam on my ISP E Mail account, ever since she put me on her E Mail list, I receive, daily, ads for penis enlargers, Viagra, and penny stocks.
I find that I am still angry, and feel vengeful. I also believe that the punishment should fit the crime. I won't do it, but I had this wonderful idea. Every time that I got spam, I would then forward it to my SIL.
The more that I think about it, the more tantalizing the idea becomes.
Have you ever wanted to wreak vengence, but held back, out of a sense of civility? If you could have had the vengence you wanted on someone, what would it have been?
I had someone " attack" me through email once.
I signed them up for over 100 spam accounts.
Oh wait.. this is supposed to be about how you WOULDNT do such things..
I have often started out in a spirit of vengeance in my life. Most of the time have had second thoughts and aborted the retaliatory action. One of my most famous, I began writing my story of Ebenezer's Ghost out of a desire to strike out at my brother, who had become a pain in the ass for several weeks, then cornered me to rail about his hatred of Christmas. The diatribe lasted fifteen minutes and then he cut off my chance to answer by turning his radio too loud to speak over. Then he moved to Dallas. I was both angry and hurt for three years. Finally, began writing my story as a means of striking back. I included several other people I was angry with, people I know personally, and also Newt Gingrich. Midway through the original draft, the resentment dissipated, and it became a labor of love. Even my brother turns out smelling like a rose.
One of my neighbors dropped some of his mail one day and the wind caught one of his fliers and carried it into my driveway. Apparently he knew it was junk because he made no effort to retrieve it, just simply watched it land in my drive, then he turned and walked away.
Unbeknownst to him, I had witnessed the whole event from between the slats of my corn crib. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the slats and watched him casually walk away. I began to plot my revenge right then and there.
Later that week I burned his house to the ground after first selling his wife and children to a passing band of gypsies.
I can still recall the horror on his face as he watched the house burn and cried out his wife's and childrens' names. I have never seen such anguish.
Afterwards the fire department sifted through the ashes and told him his family must have been burned to nothing.
He's not the same anymore, just walks around town with a glazed look in his eyes and spittle running down his face. He's homeless and has lost most of his hair and a great deal of teeth.
I laugh when I pass him on the street.
You might say that revenge was mine.
hold on....
I was sold, along with my mother and brothers and sisters to gypsies as a child.
It was a miserable existence, I was starved and beaten on a regular basis. The only life skill I learned was how to silently sneak up on a person and garrote them.
My family and I would sit in our cage at night, vowing to take our revenge one day on whoever was responsible for this
Chai wrote:hold on....
I was sold, along with my mother and brothers and sisters to gypsies as a child.
You don't actually expect me to believe that, do you?
Oh my god! How ironic would that be if it was you I sold.
Small world. Small friggin' world.
My daughter (oldest) was ending a 7 year relationship with a guy she almost married and had always been a good guy and treated very well by me.
For that reason we never really know about, he turned VERY nasty at the end not only to her, but to me personally. As I was over at their apartment helping her load the last of her stuff, his dog had ripped the entire back out of my daughters sofa and he was all "tough ****" about it.
I went in to use the bathroom and wiped my ass, and I mean thoroughly, with his toothbrush.
squinney not so much, but my cubs and I are not to be trifled with.... I passed that gene along to all of them excpet for maybe Seth the baby cub, who is the most astoundingly reasonable and even tempered guy you can imagine. I think it's because he's so big that no one has ever messed with him. the rest of us are little Bears.
We're all actually very Bear-ish. Perfectly happy and friendly, do anything for you, until the exact moment we're provoked, and then it's on bitch.
I have many revenge stories, but I particularly like that one.
Jesus Christ, Bear, you don't know where that toothbrush has been.
Oh yes I do.... and that was the revenge part....
I was there earlier, Bear. I had heard about your troubles and as a personal favor to you, I coated the guy's toothbrush with Acme Rectal Cavity Dissolver. I figured it would wreak havoc with the guy's mouth, but I never expected that you would be the first person to use it.
It is slow acting. Usually starts to work right about...... now.
I'm so sorry, Bear.
Gus, I have gone to the source of information for anal cavity problems and how to fix them (especially once one has received the coveted 4-F), but Limbaughs site is down for mainteneace.
Therefore I am going over here to try and find a solution.
http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html
Damn your eyes, Gus, I will seek revenge.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Chai wrote:hold on....
I was sold, along with my mother and brothers and sisters to gypsies as a child.
You don't actually expect me to believe that, do you?
Oh my god! How ironic would that be if it was you I sold.
Small world. Small friggin' world.
no it wasn't you, you fool...in my dreams I hear my mother cry out "OCCOM BILL, stop....don't take us away from our home!"
but now I'll have to get revenge on you as well for making me feel like an idiot.
BTW, I was at my BF last night, and his toothbrush tasted funny.
Chai wrote:gustavratzenhofer wrote:Chai wrote:hold on....
I was sold, along with my mother and brothers and sisters to gypsies as a child.
You don't actually expect me to believe that, do you?
Oh my god! How ironic would that be if it was you I sold.
Small world. Small friggin' world.
no it wasn't you, you fool...in my dreams I hear my mother cry out "OCCOM BILL, stop....don't take us away from our home!"
but now I'll have to get revenge on you as well for making me feel like an idiot.
BTW, I was at my BF last night, and his toothbrush tasted funny.
Well I would have thought that after brushing for many years, the taste wouldn't have remained so long but now that I think of it it did happen right after the Bear family reunion and we'd eaten a lot of baby seal. That can relly linger.
Statistically, baby seal mixed in feces last 27% longer than any other substance.
I think I read that in National Geographic.
(while gus stealthily approachs the Polar Bear to collect a feces sample we'll take a short break for this word from Mutual Of Omaha)
In our last house in the city we used to have a skateboarder skate down our street (a side street) at around 1:00 a.m. every bloody night. That loud, rude noise would startle us right out of a good sleep. Long after, I would lay there thinking of attaching a piece of nylon fishing line across the street so it would cut him off at the ankles and he would nearly kill himself. I would have done it but I couldn't figure out how to remove the broken nylon line while the inevitable paramedics and cops milled about.
mame you need to be a little more thorough in your thinking. You get your child to do it and act horrified when it happens. The child is a juvenile and nothing more than a slap on the wrist will occur for the offense and it will be expunged from their records before they come of age.
Revenge and transporting cocaine is putting a child to good use ya know.
Shite, BPB - where were you when I needed you? What a great idea. Have you always thought so far ahead of everyone?