Sorry if you find this too morbid, but.....

I doubt I'll have a funeral as such, but I expect some friends who live near each other will "do something", if only "lunch", and given that my friends and relatives are spread out, it might be a few small get togethers, if only walks along a beach. Given it's a "wake", I'd like that to be a pot luck feasting good time for them, yes, with music, but their music now or music we've all liked over the years, pretty varied.

I have friends who once rented a yacht for a few hours to celebrate their engagement, and it just motored around Marina del Rey; I can picture them doing a party like that for me on a sunny calm day sometime, having them catch up with each other's lives, mentioning me off the cuff, having some more of the good food.

The music I've listed, or will list further here, is more for me to me, while I'm still kicking - the music I used to listen to while driving the redwood forest.

In the meantime, I have to live long enough to earn enough money to set up an flight to italy for an ash toss by friends, ash toss followed by a good vacation for them. Well, I'm mostly kidding on that, but not entirely. I suppose what with baggage check and all, that's not the piece of cake it might have been when I first thought of it.

I'll Fly Away

Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away.

To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory, I'll fly away.

When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye,
I'll fly away.



When the shadows of this life have flown,
I'll fly away.

Like a bird thrown, driven by the storm,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory, I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye,
I'll fly away.



Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away.

To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away.

I'll fly away, O Glory,
I'll fly away.

When I die, Hallelujah, bye and bye,
I'll fly away.

I figured the Q must have been asked before but I didn't look too hard for it. Oh, well. I agree that the more important question is whether it shoud be a joyous or solemn affair. Again, I want a huge party. I'd rather my friends celebrate my life than mourn my death.

So many families (including my own) only get together for weddings and funerals, so why shouldn't it be a joyous occasion?

Because they'd be sad?

I have the good fortune to have not (yet) attended many funerals. But a friend of mine told me about a funeral she went to where people were ordered to celebrate etc. But they were just plain sad. (It was a young person, cancer I think.) Someone kept upbraiding them with "come on, cheer up, _____ wanted a party!," but they wanted to commisserate, cry, hug, etc. It sounds like it simply wasn't handled very well, but the story made me think that I'd want to leave the funeral up to the mourners, since I'd be out of the picture and it's really for them.

Somewhere Beyond The Sea Lyrics

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waitin' for me
My lover stands on golden sand
And watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watchin' for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailin'

It's far beyond the star
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be, beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailin'

***INSTRUMENTAL BREAK***

I know beyond a doubt,
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet, I know we'll meet
Beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be, beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailin'

Soz--Unfortunately, I've attended numerous funerals. (One of the hazards of working in retail.) I agree that the mood does depend on the mourners; everyone deals with grief differently. I also think it has a lot to do with the age of the deceased.

When a friend's uncle passed at the age of 84 after a very full life, the mood at the wake was respectful but joyful. It was more a quiet social gathering than a weep-fest. (More than one story was told about Uncle John trying to hit on the nurses while he was in the hospital that last time.)

On the other hand, a friend of mine was taken by Cystic Fibrosis at the age of 24. There wasn't a dry eye to be found at the wake or the funeral. The gathering after the funeral, however, was filled with laughter, just the way he would have wanted. Personally, I'm thankful he lived as long as he did; his doctors said he wouldn't make it beyond the age of 16.

I'm a sucker for traditional folk songs and this one always makes the hair on my neck stand on end:

Fading away like the stars in the morning
Losing their light in the glorious sun
Thus would we pass from this earth and its toiling
Only remembered for what we have done

Only remembered
Only remembered
Only remembered for what we have done
Thus would we pass from this earth and its toiling
Only remembered for what we have done

Only the truth that in life we have spoken
Only the seed that in life we have sewn
These will pass onward when we are forgotten
Only remembered for what we have done

Only remembered
Only remembered
Only remembered for what we have done
These will pass onward when we are forgotten
Only remembered for what we have done

Who'll sing the anthem and who'll tell the story?
Will the line hold, will it scatter and run?
Shall we at last be united in glory
Only remembered for what we have done?

Only remembered
Only remembered
Only remembered for what we have done
Shall we at last be united in glory
Only remembered for what we have done?
Only remembered for what we have done

I would always prefer a celebratory gathering, but it would be hard for me to argue with Jackson Browne's "Sisters of the Sun" (Rock Me on the Water) or Phil Ochs's "The Crucifixion", usually sung be Glen Yarbrough. Both of them are thought-provoking mood setters, to my way of thinking.

Drew Dad--You hit a nerve there. "Beyond the Sea" is one of my favorites and quite appropriate.

Tai Chi--That'a beautiful choice.

Cow Doc--I'm trying to think of the lyrics, but all I hear in my head is Jackson Browne's "Lawyers in Love." Of course, I suppose If it were a lawyer's funeral that would be appropriate.

(grin) I think I'm in a more solemn mood today anyhow.

Bobby Darin's Beyond the Sea hits a spot in my hypothalamus...

Osso--Your quotes just reminded me of something.....I'd like to offer a moment of silence for Mr. Vonnegut since this seems to be a good thread for such things.

(Robbie Williams' version of "Beyond the Sea" ain't so bad either.)

Yes to Kurt Vonnegut, Terry. He, Kurt, spoke at the funeral of (was it Isaac Azimov or Carl Sagan?). When he said, "He's in heaven now," everyone attending burst into laughter. Vonnegut said he hoped someone would say the same thing at his funeral. The same goes for me, but only in the company of friends. My religious relatives would solemnly nod in agreement. Like Mark Twain, I couldn't abide having to listen to harp music for all eternity.

I'm still thinking about music. It would have to be cheerful, funny, clever, witty. Dys would pick out the perfect songs.

Aha, one would be, Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life, ala Young Frankenstein--with a good Frankenstein laugh in the background.

blueflame1 posted this on the Vonnegut thread I started (there is more than one thread) -
http://www.freepress.org/columns/display/7/2006/1326

I found that - his last 'paid' speech - a quote rich piece...

Thanks, osso, for the article. I'll now look for your thread on Vonnegut.

on checking the previous thread i see my answer is still the same

The Parting Glass
Traditional

Of all the money ere I had, I spent it in good company,
And all the harm I've ever done, alas was done to none but me
and all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I can't recall
so fill me to the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades ere I had, they're sorry for my going away,
and all the sweethearts ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
but since it falls unto my lot that I should go and you should not,
I'll gently rise and softly call, goodnight and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile
there is a fair maid in this town who sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosey cheeks and ruby lips, I alone she has my heart in thrall
so fill me to the parting glass goodnight and joy be with you all.

if possible a version by tommy makem and the clancy brothers

One of my favorites, dj.

Leave A Little Light by the Wyrd Sisters from their CD Sin & Other Salvations

When we're homesick it's not for places
So much as the faces of the people that we know
And the road that we take is built on a landscape
Of each of our loving souls
So when we lose a star dies, the earth cries
At darker skies, our world is changed
And the road that we take is built on a landscape
Of all that's re-arranged

Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
I might be home

Leave a little light in the window
I might be home
Leave a little light by the back door too
Leave a little light in the stairway up to your room
Hope a little light is still shining in your eyes
When you think of me, when you think of me
If you still do
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
I might be home

Well I did a lot of wandering
Did a lot of filling in
Did a lot of questioning why and where I should go
Soon as I have got the strength I'm
Heading for an open space I'm
Heading for a better place where I might find me
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
I might be home

Well I did a lot of wandering
Did a lot of filling in
Did a lot of questioning why and where I should go
Soon as I have got the strength I'm
Heading for an open space I'm
Heading for a better place where you might find me
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
I might be home

Leave a little light in the window
I might be home
Leave a little light by the back door too
Leave a little light in the stairway up to your room
Hope a little light is still shining in your eyes
When you think of me, when you think of me
If you still do
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
Leave a little light in the window
I might be home

Oh my gosh, tai chi, that made me tear up a little. Lovely and plaintive.

This topic has been interesting Diane. If I was going to "pre-plan", this song would be a keeper for sure -- three women with gorgeous voices singing in close 3 part harmony AND there's a fiddle. Imminent arrival of another birthday seems to be making me morbid

Thank you for the link, Osso.

Thank you all for your participation here....some beautiful lyrics to be found.