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Thu 10 Jul, 2003 08:53 pm
Hold Fast the Summer, Father!
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When I left home in the fall of 1967, I had no idea what went on in
my father's heart, until much later that is, when our son Carlos
moved away.
The sadness that engulfed my heart was such that nothing seemed the
same again. It was as if a piece of myself had left my body for
good. He had lived with us in our home while going to college, but
even after that, I knew I could see him anytime I wished, since he
only lived a couple of blocks away.
Although I was sad when I left home, my heart was set on my new
dream. I was overloaded with anticipation for the new place, the new
possibilities, the new horizons, the new friends and the money I was
going to make, etc., etc. ... But, when you are the father, the one
who stays behind, you wonder how will you ever be able to live
without that little guy who has meant so much to you for so long.
That one whom you have known since he was living in his mother's
body; when you felt him kick, and then the joy you experienced when
he came into the world.
I must look to the beauty of each new day, and silently give thanks.
Oh, the times we had together in the evenings - when we played Star
Wars or read C. S. Lewis stories and prayed together! The hardships
he endured when he accompanied me on mission trips; his first bike,
his first guitar. The loud and senseless music he liked, and how he
tried to explain to me how meaningful it was to kids his age. If you
have not developed a lump in your throat yet, then your boy has not
left home.
The bottom line was: I had lost my boy. Yes, I lost my boy, the same
way my dad lost me. This is a poem found in the pocket of an eighty
year-old father. Even though his son had left home ages ago, to him
it seemed as if it were yesterday:
Hold fast the summer. It is the beauty of the day and all it
contains.
The laughter and work and finally the sleep. The quiet.
Oh September, do not put your weight upon my mind.
For I know he will be going.
This son of mine who is now a man - he must go.
Time will lace my thoughts with joyous years.
The walls will echo his "Hello". His caring will be around each
corner.
His tears will be tucked into our memory book.
Life calls him beyond our reach - to different walls.
New faces, shiny halls, shy smiles, many places.
Greater learning - he must go.
But wait, before he leaves, be sure he knows you love him.
Hide the lump in your throat as you hug him.
He will soon be home again - but he will be different.
The little boy will have disappeared.
How I wished I could take September and shake it, for it came too
soon I must look to the beauty of each new day, and silently give
thanks.
Guys, don't wait any longer to take that fishing trip or to go bike
riding with your kid. Don't postpone that game of basketball or
tennis you'd promised him some time ago. He has not forgotten.
Before you know you will be saying goodbye to him as he goes to
college or goes after his dream, whatever that may be. Whatever you
do, do not tarry as your "September" will happen sooner than you
think. So, hold fast the summer!
The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son
delights in him. Proverbs 23:24
© Lou Seckler
mailto:[email protected]
Lou Seckler is the Director of Mexico Programming for:
Herald of Truth
http://www.heraldoftruth.org/
and the Response Minister for:
Hope For Life
http://www.hopeforlife.org/
Hi Misty, your story and poem brought some tears. Oh, how well I know, how well.
Both my sons have been gone for a long time. But, life is a little cruel, as at first we parents think we'll finally get to have a life. Ha, what a joke. All those years I raced off to work, went to college...that was for the kids. Those are the years when everybody lives a whirlwind, when marvelous action occurs constantly yet there is time, time, for everything. The kids, they learn much from the rushing around of their parents whatever people say. Would they want a mom who hangs around all day? Naw, not the kids of my day, and today.
When the first one left not only was there a hole in my heart, but a whole in the kitchen and living room. He left with our kitchen table and everybody's favorite leather chair and ottoman. College, you know, they need furniture too. When the second one left, Oh gee, what a relief. No more piles of beer cans in the garage, the mess of hair-blowing-fixing stuff in my utility room. Junk, often piled right next to the furnace pilot light. Horrors, no more finding him using blow torches without safety glasses, doing wheelies on his banana bike or motorcycle.
So, the day dawns. I didn't work those next few years, but we moved to the country and bought horses, dogs, cats, ducks. When the kids move out the animals come in. Something to love, care for, greet us as we come up the drive. Something to provide our grandkids when they visit -- ponies to ride, kittens to hug, dogs to chase. It is all pretty good, really, if we don't miss any, I mean ANY of the stages. Feed them well when they visit, babysit. I love all that, too. It's the grandkids, they heal up all the holes.
Tex-star:
What a lovely way with words you have! Ever thought of writing a book?
You're right of course, the formative years are the years we should have tons of time to spend with our kids, but that does not happen, we have no time, there's too many things happening all at once, and we almost miss the growth changes in our kids, because time marches on, so fast.
I think grandchildren are God's way of saying, here now, is your gift, for all the sacrifices you made, for all the tears you wiped away, for the smiles you created, and for never expecting thanks in return.
Now, these children are for you, so that they may learn and see love in action!
Hi Misty, just getting back here to this forum. Thanks, nice thing to say. Yeah, I've thought about writing a book - since I quit my news writing job. I must be waiting for an assignment. Gosh, it's tough to just do something without a deadline, someone with a big stick waiting for your work. I'm a dreamy sort of person and think about my past a lot, and laugh to myself. I'm telling you this is a really nutty world. Wonder why so many people take it so seriously.
I do recall some speaker saying if its our particular desire to write a book, or something, we must first hypnotize ourselves to effect the knowing that we can do it. Then, we don't hesitate but sit down AND DO IT. Actually, it's like I have to get it out of my head.
How about you Misty, weren't you going to write something. How is your new job with the doctor? I think, I think, that was what you said somewhere in this forum. I once worked for two G.P.'s.
Hi Tex-star,
You're right, it's tough doing something without a deadline, but I think deadlines is what keeps us on our toes, and in our best working mode, or rather creative position.
Yeah, this world is nothing to take seriously, for sure! If we can't lighten up and laugh, it's no fun! We've got one time to go around, why would we not try to make the best of it?
Maybe someday I'll write a book, not so much about my travels but more about my enthusiasm for life and my vision of life.
It's funny that you mention it, but working in the medical field was something I always wanted to do, but it didn't happen until I was 49 years old, and I'm still there!
I want you to know I love your posts, and always find you amusing and interesting, so whatever you're doing, keep it up!
Hugs, Jen
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