Bohne wrote:I sent my sweety an email saying:
Happy Valentine...
...this is what you are missing by not being here!
(Then there was a photo attached, but I leave that to your imagination!)
sorry, you'll have to post the picture, i have no immagination
violets are blue
roses are red
Smorgs I hope you get to give
some valentine head
(you seem a little pent up)
Roses are red
I'm not really a yuppy
such love from the germ
for today only, he's also a puppy
To the Boston Hys-Terriers:
And they called it puppy love
Oh I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so
And they called it puppy love
Just because we're seventeen
Tell them all it isn't fair
To take away my only dream
I cry each night these tears for you
My tears are all in vain
Oh I'll hope and I'll pray that may be some day
You'll be back in my arms once again
Someone help me,help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I ever tell them
This is not a puppy love
Someone help me,help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I ever tell them
This is not a puppy love
To Hermione and her Fred:
Catholic bride, Jewish groom
What to do, mama mia!
I'll just have the choir sing
Oy Vey Maria.
smorgs wrote:Roses are red, Viagra is blue
I'll buy 10 on-line
Especially for you.
x
This gets my vote for the most clever Valentine. (surprising that it got thru the "spam filter")
The roses were red
As is my loving heart
I sent her so many kisses
How was that smart?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This doesnt rhyme
Because, once again I didnt get a card!!!Not even a joke one.A guy I know but never met said he'd send an e-card but oh no, has it turned up, has it my butt.Once again a year with no chocolates, no flowers, nothing, nada, sweet flip all, oh you men your soooooo picky arnt you, gotta have big boobs, gotta have long lets, blonde, pretty, tinkly little laugh,bluuuurgh to them and their perfect behinds.Magazines, thats it, I blame magazines, expecting everybody to be perfect, have the right clothes, the latest must have bag, the latest pet, the latest face lift.But no, cant just settle for a slightly plump, which i like to call cuddly, brunette, that has legs, but they arent particularly long, I cant help it you know I was born that way, small boobs, yes but with a push up bra and some tissues they can look vaguely boob like, with a bit of cosmetic shading.Well, its not my loss, its eeeevverybody else's do you hear me not my loss, yours all YOOOOUURRSSS!!!BLOOMIN' MEN!!!
They say love is blind
But if that were so
Victoria's Secret
Wouldn't make any dough
To: materialgirl
Love ya just the way you are, mg!
I have a BIG smile on my slighty odd looking face!!!
Thank you!!
Some people think
that roses are the way,
but just having you near
makes my Valentine's Day.
(I don't "celebrate" valentine's day" really)
The roses are dead
The violets are wilted
Here are dead flowers
From the lover you jilted.
DrewDad wrote:The roses are dead
The violets are wilted
Here are dead flowers
From the lover you jilted.
That made me all depressed...
x
There are actually florists in the US that will deliver dead flowers....
Roses and violets
And Valentine's ads
Make me want to go out
And kick someone's 'nads.
I used to work for a florist and we did get a request for black roses - 6 dozen of them. We got paid a fortune so we took some deep red roses and sprayed them black. They died within 24 hours or delivery but the girl who received them loved them - the couple was Goth so it wasn't all that unusual.
roses are roses
violets are not
i think i'll just keep drinking
sitting here on my bot.
Every Dude
Down in Dude-ville
Liked V-day a lot...
But the Bitch,
Who lived just North of Dude-ville,
Did NOT!
The Bitch hated V-day!
The whole V-day season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that she had never been screwed quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were to tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her boobs were two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
Her boobs or her shoes,
She stood there on V-day Eve, hating the Dudes,
Staring down from her cave with a sour, Bitchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For she knew every Dude down in Dude-ville below
Was busy now, thinking of banging a ho.
