I Must be Disgusting

No, it's just that, being of Celtic origin, my skin is naturally fluorescent pink so I initially thought it was a shot of my topless torso.

"Lady Bumps" another gem I will have to add to my repertoire.

Bella, you look incredible!! And I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am for you!

Your co-worker totally over-reacted! What a snooty prude! I don't consider myself "old" but I am not of childbearing years anymore either, but I love and adore the way a pregnant woman looks!! I loved and adored every moment of being pregnant myself and whenever I see a pregnant woman, I really have to keep myself in check because my first instinct is to want to rub their tummy and not all pregnant women like that! Especially those whom you don't know....truly, I'm not weird, just very maternal methinks, having wanted 8 kids of my own.

Show your tummy very proudly, Bella! It's a beautiful, beautiful gift!!

Hehehe....that IS a good one!

Ok, so how do you tell people to quit touching your belly without being rude? I know they aren't trying to be rude but is there a sign on me that says "Touch Here"?

It makes me unfomfortable.

Let's make a t-shirt that says
"Don't touch my Lady-Bumps, and that includes the Belly-Bump too!"

OH! I have to admit, I've been guilty of that.

There's just something about a pregnant belly that just makes me (and a lot of other people it seems) want to reach out and put my palms on it.

I've actually caught myself and said "oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. It's like your belly has become public property, isn't it"?

I think it's a really powerful urge. I mean, you are standing there, carrying the future of mankind, ensuring the continuance of of the human race. It's like some kind of sacred thing, and people just feel like they want to somehow be part of all that.

I'm not sure there a way to totally prevent people from doing it, but if you think of it as some kind of essential need for others to share your joy, maybe that'll help you bear it.

I know they aren't trying to be rude. And that's why I don't want to be like "Hands off bitch!"

But try having someone rub YOUR belly and see how comfortable it makes you.

Dont touch my lady bumps



sounds like a sweet way to keep someone from your genital warts.

Yack!

Speaking of disgusting...

A couple of years ago I knew this woman who was one of those who thought she was the only woman who had ever been pregnant in the history of mankind.

She brought in this album of pictures that she had professionally done.

God.

At first, flipping through them I thought they were just sort of pretencious. All these shots of her reclining on a chaise, wearing white flowy clothes, with this wistful expression on her face. Gag.

Even so, it was still possible to look and them and say, "Oh, how nice"

Then, I came to this shot that I had to bite my tongue to say "WTF were you thinking"!!!

She was standing with some diaphonous white material wrapped once around her breasts and once around her naughty bits, with her entire belly hanging out....welllll....ok.......BUT, her husband what kneeling in front of her, shirt off (the picture cut off at his waist), with both of his palms plastered on either side of her navel, looking up at her face with this adoring expression. She was posed gazing off into the distance, in rapture I suppose.

First off, this woman happened to be a real bitch, and I can just imagine her making her husband do this.
Second, this made the guy look like some incredible whipped whimp, which I'm sure he was. Plus, with his physique, it would have been better leaving his shirt on. He was some pasty skinned skinny guy, no muscles at all.
Third, the baby was a boy, and I'm thinking "Holy Christ, if this kid and his friends ever see this picture 10 years from now, he'll never live it down".

A couple of piercings with sharp implements poking out....