Weird Rants To Help Keep You Sane!

It's the heat, right?

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Here's my rant.

(I typed it all out. Read it a couple of times. Decided to erase. Just typing it out helped.)

Whew! Okay. Thanks for listening.

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My fundamentalist Christian cousin who has always been a Christian but who used to be intelligent and interested in all sorts of things. She now sounds like a recording of Dobson or one of the other 'leaders' of Chrisianity. I want to slap her silly and tell her to wake up and be a real human being again.

I've always loved her like a sister and I feel an anger at the kind of Stepford Wife (divorced) she has become. I've been feeling more and more distant from her while she seems to enjoy being misunderstood more and more and I watch, stunned, as she enjoys the self-inflicted martyrdom of so many fundamentalists these days. I feel I've lost her. Damn it!!

Mean and petty? Maybe.

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And now I'm worried about Dys. Eternal bliss??? Does he still live with me??? Where have I gone wrong???

Maybe I need to kiss Edgar's ass, gritty or not. That'll show the old cowboy! Well, maybe I'll kiss the cowboy's ass, cute cheeks and all.
That's the ticket. But, will that contribute to his feeling of eternal bliss?

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dlowan wrote:

I eat crutches to keep my teeth nice

Be still my beating heart!

I think I need one of LE's classic lay downs.

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After some reflection I've decided to keep my rants nonpersonal. If I started ranting about the less than ideal turns my life has taken lately, the computer might explode.

I was watching a show about pterosaurs (flying reptiles). New and fascinating stuff is being found that I enjoy knowing about. I'm watching the show about a site in China. Then comes the academic team--not to China--it enters the show. Why? To build a flying pterosaur. I'm a lay person. Hardly an expert. We have living and breathing birds in front of us. We can examine every movement of every muscle. We can't build a bird that flies like a bird. Why are these people trying to build something that we have no musculature for? That we know precious little about? I know it will fail. I continue watching the show because of the site in China.

The academics return. Recent findings reveal that pterosaurs had hair. They stick a toupee on the pterosaur who is now named Hercie (short for Hercules). I'm a lay person, but I know that hair growing out of skin would have an entirely different aerodynamic effect from a clump of hair stuck on a matte and glued onto the frame of Hercie. Now I'm getting annoyed. I start making nasty remarks to the tv screen.

Back to China--interesting stuff. Back to Hercie for a test flight--a glide really. He crashes. What a shock! The head academic is mighty upset. She might lose her $500,000 grant if they destroy the model before it flies. Did she say $500,000? Yes, she did. Now I'm hopping mad. Furious. Yelling very sarcastic and foul comments at the tv.

Back to China. Back to Hercie. Instead of fixing the model and attempting another glide, the crack academic team opts to go directly to wing-flapping flight. I'm only a lay person, but I think it might be prudent to have a glide that succeeds before wing-flapping is attempted. Hey, what do I know. In the first (and only sign) of something even remotely resembling intelligence, they elect to remove the toupee.

Back to China. More small and fascinating pterosaurs are emerging from layers of rock. Back to Hercie. He's gotten aloft via a small plane--just like the ones they had back when he was a living breathing entity. They release him from the plane. Hercie heads downward. Another shock. But this time something different happens. This time the academics have shown what brilliant minds they have and what a realistic reenactment of flight they created. Hercie has a parachute. Red silk.

I'm still seething over this. Not 100 percent sure why. The stupidity of the effort? The money? Both? The intrusion into a show I might have actually enjoyed? Uh oh. I'm seething again.

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squinney wrote:

Here's my rant.

(I typed it all out. Read it a couple of times. Decided to erase. Just typing it out helped.)

Whew! Okay. Thanks for listening.

The perfect rant. If only I was that succinct.

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dyslexia wrote:

My rant is, I have nothing to rant about. I live in eternal bliss.

Er...doesn't that mean heaven?

What the HELL are you doing in HEAVEN, goddammit!

Reyn wrote:

It's the heat, right?

Wrong. But you ARE succinct.

squinney wrote:

Here's my rant.

(I typed it all out. Read it a couple of times. Decided to erase. Just typing it out helped.)

Whew! Okay. Thanks for listening.

Damn. I mean I am glad you feel better.....but we never got to see the rant!

kickycan wrote:

squinney wrote:
Here's my rant.

(I typed it all out. Read it a couple of times. Decided to erase. Just typing it out helped.)

Whew! Okay. Thanks for listening.

The perfect rant. If only I was that succinct.

You just almost were.

Diane wrote:

My fundamentalist Christian cousin who has always been a Christian but who used to be intelligent and interested in all sorts of things. She now sounds like a recording of Dobson or one of the other 'leaders' of Chrisianity. I want to slap her silly and tell her to wake up and be a real human being again.

I've always loved her like a sister and I feel an anger at the kind of Stepford Wife (divorced) she has become. I've been feeling more and more distant from her while she seems to enjoy being misunderstood more and more and I watch, stunned, as she enjoys the self-inflicted martyrdom of so many fundamentalists these days. I feel I've lost her. Damn it!!

Mean and petty? Maybe.

Oy veh! That's sad.

This you hafta explain more: (please)

"as she enjoys the self-inflicted martyrdom of so many fundamentalists these days."

How are they martyring themselves?

Diane wrote:

And now I'm worried about Dys. Eternal bliss??? Does he still live with me??? Where have I gone wrong???

Maybe I need to kiss Edgar's ass, gritty or not. That'll show the old cowboy! Well, maybe I'll kiss the cowboy's ass, cute cheeks and all.
That's the ticket. But, will that contribute to his feeling of eternal bliss?

Precisely!

I do wish I hadn't found out about the grittiness.

I've always sort of fancied Edgar's arse.

dadpad wrote:

dlowan wrote:

I eat crutches to keep my teeth nice

Be still my beating heart!

I think I need one of LE's classic lay downs.

You are a little weird.

Termites must REALLY excite you....

BOIDA!!!!

Your rant is wonderful.

Pterosaur with a toupee!!!!

Red silk parachutes!

PS: You set the computer on fire if you want to.

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Alloy crutches flossy.

I played around with the obviouse "woody" innuendo then decided not to go for it as I know how quickly your tiny mind works.

The magic word abracadabra was originally intended for the specific purpous of curing hayfever, and the queen of england owns all the swans in the world.!

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[quote="dlowan

BOIDA!!!!

Your rant is wonderful.

Pterosaur with a toupee!!!!

Red silk parachutes!

PS: You set the computer on fire if you want to.[/quote]

Whaddya mean my rant is wonderful?! I was pissed off. Still am.

Tried writing a rant about the reality of my life. Too hard. Not going there.

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How come when I quote somebody I don't get the little box?! Annoying but not rantworthy.

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dadpad wrote:

Alloy crutches flossy.

So?

dadpad wrote:

I played around with the obviouse "woody" innuendo then decided not to go for it as I know how quickly your tiny mind works.

You played around with woody.

This is news?

dadpad wrote:

The magic word abracadabra was originally intended for the specific purpous of curing hayfever, and the queen of england owns all the swans in the world.!

This isn't no rant!!!

The swans I knew about......abracadabra I need proof.

Roberta wrote:

[quote="dlowan]

BOIDA!!!!

Your rant is wonderful.

Pterosaur with a toupee!!!!

Red silk parachutes!

PS: You set the computer on fire if you want to.

Whaddya mean my rant is wonderful?! I was pissed off. Still am.

Tried writing a rant about the reality of my life. Too hard. Not going there.[/quote]

Snorkle.

I know what you mean with anorexics.......they drive everyone nuts IRL.

I can just see you make with the chicken soup...and all the little anorexics trembling with horror.

And you're right...it is a VERY serious illness...

You stick to the rants you want.

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I feel the need to rant, but I don't know what about.

How can I do?

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My rant is about the media conglomerates. We had a power failure this evening, first we've had in this area in the 3 years I've been here. Lasted about two and a half hours.

Stumbled around for candles and matches so I could find my emergency kit with the faraday flashlights and shake them for 3 minutes so I could then find my portable radio to learn what was going on. Spent a half hour surfing the both the AM and FM dials (and shaking the flashlight every couple minutes to recharge it), trying to find some local news or talk show. Even some rap DJ who lives in the area and is talking about the darkness that came over the eastern side of the Sacramento Valley would have been great. Nothing, nada, zip. All 50 or so area call lettered stations in the area run radio programs by a group of people sitting in Nebraska generating fake local program peppered with local ads so it sounds like the crap emanates from here.

Got in my car, drove around a two mile area to see how extensive the outage was while continuing to surf radio stations on my car radio.

Guess what?!?!? I could get local traffic and news on two stations! But, one of the stations was in Seattle and the other was in San Francisco and neither gave a flop about Sacramento. They were giving traffic and news reports for the Seattle and San Francisco areas. :::grrr:::

So, now the power is back on and I check the TV to see if there is any news. Nada. Now I've come to the internet to see what I find here. I check in with the local power utility website and find nothing. Switch over to the news websites of the three local TV stations here. Still nothing. Lots of state and national news, but hardly any local news.

So, how do we get local news these days? Do I need to call the radio stations in Seattle and Sacramento and ask them what happened here in Sacramento? 24/7 news coverage is nice, but it doesn't do a thing for us locally. I sure hope someone is around the local media outlets next time we have more than a minor earthquake in the area to let us know about any damage and dangers.

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Roberta wrote:

How come when I quote somebody I don't get the little box?! Annoying but not rantworthy.

Last time, one of your square brackets was missing, Boida.

I thought I had fixed it when I quoted YOU, but it still went weird.

Francis wrote:

I feel the need to rant, but I don't know what about.

How can I do?

You can only do your best, Francis.

Perhaps you are not a ranter?

Butrflynet wrote:

My rant is about the media conglomerates. We had a power failure this evening, first we've had in this area in the 3 years I've been here. Lasted about two and a half hours.

Stumbled around for candles and matches so I could find my emergency kit with the faraday flashlights and shake them for 3 minutes so I could then find my portable radio to learn what was going on. Spent a half hour surfing the both the AM and FM dials (and shaking the flashlight every couple minutes to recharge it), trying to find some local news or talk show. Even some rap DJ who lives in the area and is talking about the darkness that came over the eastern side of the Sacramento Valley would have been great. Nothing, nada, zip. All 50 or so area call lettered stations in the area run radio programs by a group of people sitting in Nebraska generating fake local program peppered with local ads so it sounds like the crap emanates from here.

Got in my car, drove around a two mile area to see how extensive the outage was while continuing to surf radio stations on my car radio.

Guess what?!?!? I could get local traffic and news on two stations! But, one of the stations was in Seattle and the other was in San Francisco and neither gave a flop about Sacramento. They were giving traffic and news reports for the Seattle and San Francisco areas. :::grrr:::

So, now the power is back on and I check the TV to see if there is any news. Nada. Now I've come to the internet to see what I find here. I check in with the local power utility website and find nothing. Switch over to the news websites of the three local TV stations here. Still nothing. Lots of state and national news, but hardly any local news.

So, how do we get local news these days? Do I need to call the radio stations in Seattle and Sacramento and ask them what happened here in Sacramento? 24/7 news coverage is nice, but it doesn't do a thing for us locally. I sure hope someone is around the local media outlets next time we have more than a minor earthquake in the area to let us know about any damage and dangers.

Wow...THAT'S a rant!!!!

Here, you call the electricity company and there is a recorded message naming areas they know are affected, and giving an estimate of when power will be back on.....you can press a button if your area is not named, to tell them your power is out.

Mind you, last really big blackout the phone thing was inaccurate.

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Hey Deb, You saw the rant about the anorexics? Decided to delete. But it wasn't what I meant when I was talking about the reality of life. Certainly not the reality of my life.

But as long as you brung it up. I know I'm rotten to the core, but I can't find it in me to be sympathetic to these people. Yes, a terrible mental illness. No question. But as I said and deleted, all I want to say is, "For God's sake, eat something." When I was a kid and didn't want to eat, my mother used to say, "Eat. People are starving in Europe." Europe? That's what she said. I guess that left an impression, though. If people in the world are starving because they don't have food, I should eat what I have. However, after many, "Eat. People are starving in Europe," I said, "So send it to 'em. I don't want it." I was such a charming child. And easy to deal with.

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Roberta wrote:

[quote="dlowan

BOIDA!!!!

Your rant is wonderful.

Pterosaur with a toupee!!!!

Red silk parachutes!

PS: You set the computer on fire if you want to.

Whaddya mean my rant is wonderful?! I was pissed off. Still am.

Tried writing a rant about the reality of my life. Too hard. Not going there.[/quote]

Roberta, Looks like you erased all of the post you quoted up to the portion about you, and in doing so also erased the important ] that encloses the

dlowan[color=red wrote:

][/color]<---- the missing ] would go here. Probably happened when highlighting the portions of the post to delete and caught the little ] in with the other guys.

Here, I'll teach you a bit about the code syntax. It is a lot like punctuation so should be right up your alley. When text is in a set of parentheses you need both a opening and closing parenthisis to distinguish the parenthetical statement from the surrounding text.

The codes for quoting posts work the same way. You need an opening and closing code such as
Quote:
<---opening and
<----closing. (The slash designates whether it is an opening or closing code.) Within each code, the codeword needs symbols to set it apart from the surrounding text. Brackets are used for that purpose and need both an opening and closing bracket.

Make sense?

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Roberta wrote:

Hey Deb, You saw the rant about the anorexics? Decided to delete. But it wasn't what I meant when I was talking about the reality of life. Certainly not the reality of my life.

But as long as you brung it up. I know I'm rotten to the core, but I can't find it in me to be sympathetic to these people. Yes, a terrible mental illness. No question. But as I said and deleted, all I want to say is, "For God's sake, eat something." When I was a kid and didn't want to eat, my mother used to say, "Eat. People are starving in Europe." Europe? That's what she said. I guess that left an impression, though. If people in the world are starving because they don't have food, I should eat what I have. However, after many, "Eat. People are starving in Europe," I said, "So send it to 'em. I don't want it." I was such a charming child. And easy to deal with.

Yeppers...I knew you weren't ranting about the reality of your life.

I used to get the starving people, too. I guess little kids don't want to eat much that mothers do this.

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bah, my example turned into code and now I can't edit it. Oh well. Forget what I said, Roberta. I'll try again when I've had some sleep.

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Butrflynet wrote:

The codes for quoting posts work the same way. You need an opening and closing code such as
Quote:
<---opening and
<----closing. (The slash designates whether it is an opening or closing code.) Within each code, the codeword needs symbols to set it apart from the surrounding text. Brackets are used for that purpose and need both an opening and closing bracket.

Make sense?

Nope. But thanks for trying. You're a brave soul. After the time you put in on my avatar, I would have thought you'd know better than to try to get me to understand something computerial.

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