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A simple “I’m Sorry” works wonders

 
 
Linkat
 
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 08:43 am
Granted I can be a bit direct when some one screws up, but a simple "I'm sorry" would calm the savage beast in me. The other day, I was out shopping, the clerk deducted my 20% off coupon on the lowest priced item - I pointed out her error (I was a bit irate as now I had to go to another line to get the deduction I was entitled to) and stated common sense would dictate to deduct 20% of the highest priced item. The clerk said, "I'm sorry". That helped immensely. Realizing everyone makes mistakes.

Now another recent issue - Over the phone, I arranged a car re-inspected. When I arrived - no one was there. I noticed another car waiting, so I walked up to the door where it clearly stated the hours (I was there during open hours). I called the phone number on the door and left a message. Never heard back so I called and explained my situation. Response - we were closed for the holiday. I asked why didn't anyone say that when I called previously to arrange the inspection and why didn't I receive a call back; common etiquette would be to call me back. Instead of apologizing she simply said what do you want me to do. I said, I want you to make other arrangements - I work fulltime with young children and have little free time for this. She started to yell at me - Don't' call me a moron and don't berate me and stuff like that. I responded I never called you a moron…and then she hung up on me. Now if this woman had simply said, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have called my insurance company, complained about the re-inspection co. refusing to deal with them.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,896 • Replies: 29
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 08:51 am
That woman should definately have said sorry if she wants your custom.
She must be the kind of person that takes things to heart and clearly even makes things up when the going gets tough.

I have to admit I HATE saying sorry when I dont mean it or when something is not my fault but I agree,saying it does help alot.
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 08:56 am
Reminds me of the "Happy Days" episode where Fonzy has to say "I was wwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrouuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooooooooouuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg".
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 09:16 am
cjhsa wrote:
Reminds me of the "Happy Days" episode where Fonzy has to say "I was wwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrouuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooooooooouuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg".


Thanks great!

It does seem easier for some people for whatever reason. I also agree it is difficult if you really are not sorry. Perhaps I wonder about this in that it comes naturally to me when I realize I am in the wrong. However, yes it is difficult when you feel you are not to blame.

Recently at the library with my daughters we returned her books. As we were going through the book shelves, the librarian came up to us with one of the books - the pages were pulled out from the binding. She asked in an accusatory tone - do you know what happened here? I was befuddled as I didn't notice the book was ruined when I gathered them. Then I noticed there was a water stain on the book and it was wet - I remembered my daughter had spilled a water glass. She had told me about the accident, but neglected to tell me the book was near it. I automatically apologized and said don't worry we will pay for the book. You could see the look in her face change immediately and she was a different person. When we went to check out the new books I apologized again and said what do I owe? She was as sweet as pie. She didn't even want the money - as anyone she wanted an I'm sorry and ownership for the error.
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 10:14 am
Ahh, thats a nice story.

Did your daughter say anything afterwards?
How much would the book have cost?

I have a book from my old school library, this is going back 12 years.
I often think I should take it back.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 10:50 am
material girl wrote:
Ahh, thats a nice story.

Did your daughter say anything afterwards?
How much would the book have cost?

I have a book from my old school library, this is going back 12 years.
I often think I should take it back.


Not sure as it is an old book - but when we go again to return the next books, if they still don't want me to pay for the damage, I plan on giving them a donation.

My daughter didn't say anything, but you could see she was embarassed and felt bad. She may not have realized the water spilled on the book as she didn't notice the spill until much later and only pointed out to me the couch. I did explain that it is o-k to make a mistake, but you need to take responsibility and that is why I offered to pay for the book.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:01 am
I'm doing Physical Therapy three times a week at a Rehab center with four branches. For some reason one of the Therapists is frequently transferred from my branch to another branch on short or no notice.

When this happens the receptionist has to reschedule clients. She does not have the power to create the inconvenience--she just has to pick up the pieces.

Last week I had to be rescheduled--again. I assured the receptionist that I knew she didn't ask to be in the middle and she should have a bonus for every rescheduling call she had to make.

Evidently that morning she'd run into People of Great Inportance who were Seriously Inconvenienced and had take a lot of discourteous flac.

She was over-the-moon delighted to be understood rather than blamed.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:02 am
Would you then ask her to do more chores round the house to make up for the payment?
Kinda balance it out.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:06 am
Noddy24 wrote:
I'm doing Physical Therapy three times a week at a Rehab center with four branches. For some reason one of the Therapists is frequently transferred from my branch to another branch on short or no notice.

When this happens the receptionist has to reschedule clients. She does not have the power to create the inconvenience--she just has to pick up the pieces.

Last week I had to be rescheduled--again. I assured the receptionist that I knew she didn't ask to be in the middle and she should have a bonus for every rescheduling call she had to make.

Evidently that morning she'd run into People of Great Inportance who were Seriously Inconvenienced and had take a lot of discourteous flac.

She was over-the-moon delighted to be understood rather than blamed.


There should be more people like you noddy.

I just screwed up at work, not completely my fault but I felt like i had to 'have a chat' with the person it effected, just to clear the air.
Cant remember if I actually said sorry tho.Anyhoo, its sorted.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:15 am
material girl wrote:
Would you then ask her to do more chores round the house to make up for the payment?
Kinda balance it out.


I thought about asking money from her allowance, but she seemed so upset about it - that I thought that was enough of a lesson.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:25 am
material girl wrote:
Noddy24 wrote:
I'm doing Physical Therapy three times a week at a Rehab center with four branches. For some reason one of the Therapists is frequently transferred from my branch to another branch on short or no notice.

When this happens the receptionist has to reschedule clients. She does not have the power to create the inconvenience--she just has to pick up the pieces.

Last week I had to be rescheduled--again. I assured the receptionist that I knew she didn't ask to be in the middle and she should have a bonus for every rescheduling call she had to make.

Evidently that morning she'd run into People of Great Inportance who were Seriously Inconvenienced and had take a lot of discourteous flac.

She was over-the-moon delighted to be understood rather than blamed.


There should be more people like you noddy.

I just screwed up at work, not completely my fault but I felt like i had to 'have a chat' with the person it effected, just to clear the air.
Cant remember if I actually said sorry tho.Anyhoo, its sorted.


Yeah - I can see both sides. That is why even though I spoke in a direct way and tone - I did not (as she said) berate her. I simply stated what I wanted to be done and that I should be extended the courteously of a phone call back. I would never call some one a moron (even if they were) and in this case thought it was simply an error and basically wanted an "I'm sorry", what can we do to help. I actually said to my husband - I wonder if I was being too rude - he said No as he had to deal with this company once before and he said they were horrible.

Whether you were the cause of the mistake or not, you represent your company and therefore can be sorry if some one makes the error at your company - you are all in this together sort of thing. When some one in my group makes an error - it represents all of us. If you had a client and some one made an error - would you tell the client - its not my fault so and so did it. Not if you want to remain in business. You say you're sorry this is how I will fix it so it doesn't happen again. When I had outside clients, I found this simple method in 9 out of 10 situations worked best than blaming, hiding the error, etc. You work there and the mistake happens - you own it. I believe it is the Ritz Hotel group that uses this same philosophy - anyone at any level if they are told by a guest of an issue - they own it and need to ensure the error is fixed (whether they ultimately do it or not).
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flushd
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 11:50 am
Laughing Of course, it's a great thing to do.

On the flip side, I had a recent run-in at work where the customer was waiting and waiting for a 'I'm sorry' and I just couldn't do it.
He became more and more irate, and I became more and more firm in declining his time.
I told him "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say I will not be helping you." And more I don't need to go into here.
I know - 'they are always right'. Exception to me is: when they are being abusive, or if I've had my limit of jerks. :wink: There is certainly a limit.

This guy had the balls to drop his life story on me, threaten my job if I didn't do such-and-such in his time frame (all out of thin air), profanties flying.
Normally, I'd just let it slide and get on with it. At the wrong place and time though....

He called my boss, and demanded I be fired. My boss is one of those master BSers (should have been a diplomat) that can smooth most anything.

Then, she comes to me, and I'm expecting to get corrected. Truth is: I did wrong, I slipped from professional, and I was willing to take my medicine.
It would have been worth it to me. Really.

She came to me and cracked up laughing. 'Nice work. Just don't do that again this month. It's exhausting having to deal with a call like that.'

She only cared about the work she'd have to do - and I've seen this often.
How many actually care about the company? There is strength in the little guys.

Regardless - Sorry does go a long way to peace.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 12:12 pm
I can completely understand when a customer is being unreasonable - I have dealt with those sorts of clients too. The trick is when you feel you are going to lose it, you remove yourself from the situation. Have some one else that hasn't dealt with 300 a$$holes that day or forward that person to a manager. I was thinking afterwards that this person may have had to deal with several irate people and I simply tipped the scale - even though I wasn't verbally abusive - no name calling, I was firm. If she felt she reached the breaking point, she should have taken a break.

You must feel differently about your company as I do care of the reputation of my company. If my company loses its reputation then I am sh*t out of luck of a job, my bonus and salary and benefits could suffer.

In my situation, my auto insurance hired this company to do my re-inspection. I called my insurance company and explained what happened. I told them I do not want to deal with them again. They are arranging a different company to perform the re-inspection. As complaints continue with this company, I would imagine the insurance company will do away with them completely. As a result, they could lose business and end up laying people off. If this were your company - that person could be you.

This of course is all null and void if you work for the government!
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 02:33 pm
Material Girl--

I figured out a long time ago that most people have more important things to do than concentrating on Ruining My Day.

Besides people with this notion are not only paranoid--they are unpleasant company.
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Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 05:50 pm
My mother and I were rarely on good terms. However, we dealt with each other until she did something that outraged me beyond the norm. I wouldn't speak to her. All I wanted was an apology. My father and uncle got involved. My uncle asked what he could do to patch things up. I told him I wanted an apology. He relayed the information. Months went by. I called to speak with my father, which I done frequently. My mother answered the phone. I asked to speak to my father. She said, "When are you going to talk to me?" I said, "When I get an apology." Silence. And then a not-very-sincere, "I'm sorry. OK?" I accepted. I knew she didn't mean it, but I also knew that it took a lot for her to say it, and that meant something. It was the only time in our relationship she ever apologized. In fact, it was the only time in all the years I knew her and witnessed her relationships with lots of people that she apologized.

I don't know why it was so hard for her. Not hard for me. When I'm wrong, I say I'm sorry.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2006 08:17 am
Roberta - I too wonder why sometimes it seems so difficult to say I'm sorry for some people (and even myself in certain situations). Perhaps it is difficult to admit you did do something wrong - admitting you can err. For some people and even in some situations that can be the hard part.
0 Replies
 
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2006 09:11 am
Linkat wrote:

This of course is all null and void if you work for the government!


Laughing
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2006 12:59 pm
You can always explain that you are terribly sorry in terms that cover the entire situation. After all, you are terribly sorry that Mr. X or Mme Z. is an irrational egomaniac.
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2006 03:33 pm
Well, speaking of customer service, what I don't like is when you report someone's lousy behaviour to their boss and the boss defends them... "they're new", or "they're having a bad day", whatever.

Who cares what their personal problems are? Keep it out of the work zone and don't take it out on me.
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2006 03:49 pm
Mame wrote:
Well, speaking of customer service, what I don't like is when you report someone's lousy behaviour to their boss and the boss defends them... "they're new", or "they're having a bad day", whatever.

Who cares what their personal problems are? Keep it out of the work zone and don't take it out on me.


I agree even if there is a legit reason - the customer only needs their issue resolved. Simply step in and say Sorry, I will take of the problem and then solve it. No lengthy sob story needed.
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