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Do You Invite Others to A2K, Or keep it to yourself?

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squinney
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 06:21 am
My Mom has gotten used to me saying "Oh, on A2K the other day someone asked... and it got me to thinking... and then sozobe said... but I think I agree more with Boomerang and Shewolf on this one."


She's my Mom. She loves me. She wouldn't commit me for talking like that, would she?

She knows about this site and my feelings for most of you, but I don't think she's ever visited.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 06:49 am
patiodog wrote:
Amoebae bleed?



Or has he been hanging out somewhere he shouldn't be?




Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked



Thanks.


Now you got me thinking about where the damn amoeba hangs out.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 07:23 am
I told one person about A2K. I don't think that she ever joined, but then you never know. My husband has absolutely no interest in online forums.

I discuss things on A2K that I would not discuss "in real life". I live in an "Ozzie and Harriet" sort of town, so I keep a low profile.

Some time back I got a free subscription to New York Magazine. I have continued with the subscription (I think that I have it until 2010 as of now).
When I started reading it, I realized that at heart, no matter where I am, I am really a New Yorker. On A2K I can show that side of myself, without restraint.
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Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 07:26 am
Re: Do You Invite Others to A2K, Or keep it to yourself?
edgarblythe wrote:
Do you keep friends from seeing A2K, or do you invite them to participate? I've had just one personal acquaintance sign on, and he didn't fit in. He only posted several times before dropping out. I have a brother that comes here to peep anonomously, but I don't exactly count him.

Mostly, I like to keep this forum away from my offline friends. It avoids complications that way.


Keep it to myself so I can talk about my friends with other A2K members. It's simpler like that I think.

x
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 11:41 am
I've invited some people, people who I thought would've enojoyed the forum. Only one of them stuck around, I don't invite people anymore. I'd like some privacy in a public forum. I also changed my username because of that.
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 11:44 am
....and I'll never give out the secret of your old username, John Smithson321.

You can trust me.
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Pantalones
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2006 12:47 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
....and I'll never give out the secret of your old username, John Smithson321.

You can trust me.


I can't trust you, since I still don't know if your Mr. Ratzenhofer's alterego. Rolling Eyes
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Roberta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 12:34 am
I have a friend who has been having many problems lately. She's been suffering from insomnia. I told her about a2k. Invited her to try it. She didn't. Otherwise, friends know about it but don't come here. I was about to say that I like saying what I want to say anonymously, but the fact is that I haven't said anything here that I wouldn't say to most of my friends, at least not yet. And it's not entirely anonymous since some of us have met others of us.

Still, I like roaming around and being identified only as my written word. There's something very modern and very old-fashioned (pretelephone)about it that appeals to me.
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rockpie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 03:53 am
i have mentioned it now and then...
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 06:15 am
Roberta wrote:
Still, I like roaming around and being identified only as my written word. There's something very modern and very old-fashioned (pretelephone)about it that appeals to me.


I agree. When I first joined Abuzz, for the longest time I purposely did not disclose my sex, age or marital status. I wanted people to relate to me as "me", without the cultural baggage. There were no avatars on Abuzz, so another clue to the identity of the member was obscured. When I felt more comfortable, and knew a lot of people, I shared a lot more of myself.

At first, most people assumed that I was a man.
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 09:41 am
I am very careful. I want to protect myself from recriminations that could occur if some people saw the private thoughts I express here.

To most people, I simply say I am involved with an internet forum and leave it at that.
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 09:43 am
I invite people, but nobody I know personally.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 01:15 pm
I told my dad and he's all over the place here now. It's a good way for me to find out what's going on with my parents Confused

I've told a couple of friends about A2K over the years. Two registered. Neither has made it past a couple of posts though they apparently read along quite regularly.
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kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 01:29 pm
I try to keep it to myself too, because I also want this to be a place where I can say just about anything. I also don't tell people because I don't want them to think of me as some lonely loser who hangs around on message boards because they have no life. Honestly, I do have real friends and a real life! I have told one or two people about it though, but they weren't into it.

I have mentioned it to my parents as well. Nothing specific though, because I don't ever want them to read the stuff I've said here. They basically think I'm a weirdo, and that it is no different than talking to myself.
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Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 01:54 pm
Eva wrote:
I am very careful. I want to protect myself from recriminations that could occur if some people saw the private thoughts I express here.

To most people, I simply say I am involved with an internet forum and leave it at that.


Word.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 02:37 pm
ehBeth has guts. I'm awfully glad she invited her dad, though, he's become one of my very favorite A2K'ers.

My mom happened to figure out who I was at Abuzz -- I told her the website but not my name there, but then when she checked it out I had a featured topic or whatever that top ten thing was called (top ten?) which contained the info that a) I was deaf and b) I had a [however old sozlet was at the time] daughter. Sigh.

She could NOT understand why I was upset about it, though, and why I asked her to respect my privacy and not go back to Abuzz. "What privacy, you're posting it on the Internet where anyone can see it!" etc. This is still an issue -- she always wants to know what I'm up to (on a day to day or preferably hour-to-hour basis), what I'm thinking, etc., and wants to come here (as a concept, I haven't told her the name of the site, and do things like remove it from my bookmark toolbar when she visits). She says she respects my wishes even though she doesn't get them, I take her at her word, though I'm always aware that she might be reading. I figure that I don't say anything I wouldn't say to her, but her total lack of comprehension on this one irks me. Have any of you dealt with that?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 02:56 pm
sozobe wrote:
ehBeth has guts. I'm awfully glad she invited her dad, though, he's become one of my very favorite A2K'ers.

My mom happened to figure out who I was at Abuzz -- I told her the website but not my name there, but then when she checked it out I had a featured topic or whatever that top ten thing was called (top ten?) which contained the info that a) I was deaf and b) I had a [however old sozlet was at the time] daughter. Sigh.

She could NOT understand why I was upset about it, though, and why I asked her to respect my privacy and not go back to Abuzz. "What privacy, you're posting it on the Internet where anyone can see it!" etc. This is still an issue -- she always wants to know what I'm up to (on a day to day or preferably hour-to-hour basis), what I'm thinking, etc., and wants to come here (as a concept, I haven't told her the name of the site, and do things like remove it from my bookmark toolbar when she visits). She says she respects my wishes even though she doesn't get them, I take her at her word, though I'm always aware that she might be reading. I figure that I don't say anything I wouldn't say to her, but her total lack of comprehension on this one irks me. Have any of you dealt with that?


Yes. The ex.


There was that kind of hurt, bewildered "I will respect your wishes, but I am hurt."


Aaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Then you want to salve the hurt, but know that you will feel really angry and resentful if you do.

Aaaaarrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Seinfeld (or George, rather) said it perfectly, as you alluded to earlier:


"Worlds colliding."

I guess you either get it or you don't?
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cyphercat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 03:02 pm
Wow, Soz, I can identify with that completely-- word for word, that could be my mom and me.

I know I just shouldn't mention that there is a site that I spend so much time on, but I can't help but say things like, "Oh, I was talking to someone about such and such," and because of the whole wanting-to-know-what-I'm-up-to-on-an-hour-to-hour-basis thing (man, do I hear you on that) she always asks where I was talking to someone about such and such. For a long time I managed to get away with not specifying the name of the place, but she finally got it out of me, and then I actually changed my original username so she wouldn't (hopefully) know who I was even if she did come here. Yeesh.

It's not that I say things about her, but I want to have the freedom to start a thread about our nutty relationship if I ever need to. (And of course I want to be able to make jokes she'd be offended by, etc. Smile )

I'm glad in a way to know someone else deals with this kind of thing. I don't know anyone else who has a parent who is wants to be quite so involved as she pushes for. There was no way for me to flat-out refuse to tell her the name of it or ask her not to come here, because she'd be so offended if I said anything that implied I don't want to share everything with her, and I don't have the energy to deal with the blow-up that would ensue if I let her know that... Rolling Eyes
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 08:38 pm
Are you an only child too, cyphercat?

There are a whole bunch of parenting things that she expected me to suddenly understand when I had my own kid, and she was pretty upset when that didn't happen. (If anything, I've gone the other direction on a lot of things. Reserved judgment when I didn't have a kid, and now that I do I say "damn I would NEVER do that...")

I did actually tell her that I refused to give the name of the forum, though I'm sure she could figure it out if she wanted to. (Among other things, I had the same username on Abuzz and if she remembers it, it ain't hard to find me here via Google.) That didn't go over very well, of course.

Has anyone come up with an explanation that has worked for people who initially didn't get it? Right now I'm leaning towards dlowan's binary formulation (they get it or they don't).
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Nov, 2006 10:10 pm
One of my brothers (the cartoonist) comes on here occasionally, when he becomes curious what I've been writing, but has no interest in becoming an active member. Since we share so many thoughts anyway, nothing of mine here is likely to surprise or shock him.
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