OK - so lets make a minor change - you can choose whomever you want to tattle on -
I choose Mathos...
I always thought he was Sean Connery in disguise
He is a hopeless flirt with a quirky sense of humor. In his younger days he was quite a dog - having affair after affair with young attractive women. Now he simply wishes he was the young scamp he once was. He believes women should be put in their place and a quick opened hand slap may be necessary if they step out of line.