It's beginning to look a lot like chickenmas

I don't know if it's the same organization, but I found someone like them online.

Actually, I think it's a cool idea....A goat would be good, even more than a chicken. The goat gives milk every day, and chickens don't lay eggs every single day.

Thingy. For the holidays.

A charity gift any other day of the week, preferably for no good reason.

I am kind of conflicted on this.


It has become very popular here, too...and I think it is a great thing to do...really great.


However.....I dunno.....I have a feeling that acts of charity/kindness ought to be invisible....not things that we do as a flurry and fanfare, which giving someone a card saying we have done it "for them" isn't.


I have a friend whose inlaws decided to do it unilaterally for christmas....she was actually quite distressed because:

1. She is someone who gives a LOT to charity....but never talks about it. She had already given various animals to various folk, and felt really..I dunno, patronised? Insulted? that they felt the yneeded to give for her. I know they weren't really giving for HER, but you know...

2. She loves christmas, and put lots of thought into gifts that she enjoyed giving to others, and for her it violated what christmas is about.

3. She was really pissed off that it wasn't discussed.




I guess that none of how how we rich and pampered people feel is important compared with the benefit to those given a chance to live better, but I do feel a bit icky about it.


But if it means more animals are given than would otherwise be, I guess that is what is important.


I imagine it is more attractive to those with lots of people they feel obliged to buy stuff for, eh?

We do this and have for the last few years. TEAR and worlds most usefull gift catologue.

Who cares if its not invisible certainly not the person getting the goat! as long as it gets to the person who needs it then big deal.

And its certainly better than buying more useless crap for friends/family who dont really need it.

Tell your friend to get over it bunnie

That's one way of looking at it.....shrugs.

Heifer is a great organization that really changes people's lives for the better. 60 Minutes did an episode were they reported on one of the first goats given to a girl and her mother in Africa. The milk from the goat brought in enough income so the girl could afford go to school, she eventually ended up going to college in Mass. USA and today is back in Africa helping other girls get an education.

Another good one is SEVA. This is more medical based and you can purchase an operation to restore vision ($40), nutritional supplements and basic health care proceedures. I know a few vegetarians who have a hardtime giving something that might one day be dinner, so this group is for them.

Dlowan wrote:



A unilateral decision that This Year "We" (meaning my family) will be Charitable (and enforce charity on you) because "We" have decided seems a bit autocratic.

Assigned charity for kids can be arbitrary and meaningless--or with a little discussion it can be a wonderful experience.

I'm not fond of having other people impose their value system--however worthy that value system may be--on me. Money-making farm animals and third-world surgery can be excellent presents for cossetted Americans. On the other hand, suppose someone decided that they would present "X" number of Bibles in my name to third world countries?

I'd like to be consulted.

Do you generally get consulted about what someone will give you for any occasion?

In my life, that's an extraordinarily rare thing.

~~~~~~~~~

I'm with dadpad on this one, particularly on the 'more useless crap' side of things.

I'm with ehBeth. I think Seva and Heifer Int'l. have come up with a marvelous idea.

I wouldn't do it for kids, but for middle-aged and older folks who already have everything they need & want, it's a great solution. We have a lot of those on our list. This is so much better than buying them another bottle of hand lotion or another picture frame.

I wouldn't make a religious donation unless I knew it conformed to the person's beliefs, though.

In fact, I would far prefer that some of my relatives would donate to charitable organizations instead of giving me the usual stuff...thoughtless crap I don't need and don't like. I think I will suggest this to them. Better their money go to help people in 3rd world countries than Wal-Mart. Thanks for the idea!

When giving a gift I think most people consider what the receiver would want over their own preferences. My guess is that you'd be somewhat insulted/upset if you found that I had given a large donation in your name to a group/organization that supported a cause that you strongly disagree with.

If I hand you a trinket that is an act that is strictly between the two of us. If I give a gift to a 3rd party in your name that's an entirely different ball o' wax. The 3rd party is likely to assume that the donation was made because you agree with/support their cause/program and if you don't then they've been mislead and may very well use your name in their advertising/fund raising which would be misleading to anyone else that sees it.

These 3rd party groups are likely to solicit you, as well as me, in the future and it is entirely possible that your friends/associates might get a solicitation in the mail saying "ehBeth donated to us! You should too!". I suspect you might not like it if your name was attached to a racist group, for example.

Any time I give a donation to any group in someone else's name I make sure the person knows about it and approves in advance.

Yep, I agree with fishin'.

I also agree with Dlowan's friend's point #2. That's something I've been struggling with this year. Last year my dad and his wife announced that they would stop celebrating Christmas -- gifts to (and from) sozlet were OK, but that's it. Then my extended family on my mom's side just said that they want to stop exchanging gifts.

On the one hand this is a huge relief, as I tend to put a lot of effort into gifts and it will be nice not to have to do that. On the other hand, I tend to put a lot of effort into gifts...! It feels like something is lost, microwaved, fast-fooded, convenienced -- and I kind of like that slow-food, inconvenient aspect of gift-giving. I just love it when a gift connects, when I put all that effort into something that someone LOVES.

So that's my response re: charity too I think. An example of someone I might give it to -- my husband's 90-year-old grandma who went out of her way to tell people NOT to give her any thingies at her huge party because she already had way too much, and for whom meeting Mother Theresa was a highlight of her life. I think she would really appreciate it. My 18-year-old niece who had a specific wish list last year, not so much. And I don't think a good present is about what someone SHOULD want as opposed to what they really want.

Our church picked Heifer Int'l as an all church social action project a couple years ago, hoping to buy an arc by springtime. We started in October and gave every kid an arc bank and suggested a weekly donation, such as 10 cents for every stuffed animal you have (week 1) or 25 cents every time you eat an egg, etc. We collected the arc banks just before Christmas to see how we were doing towards our goal and were thrilled to discover we had already collected enough for two full arcs!!! It's a great organization and our kids/families got really involved in the effort.

We're trying to move away from 'things' as gifts in our extended family as well. There are certainly some family members who are more interested in the concept than others.

Very interesting! I hadn't considered the fact that some might not "agree" with the motives of the charity.

The adults in my family don't exchange gifts, we just buy for the kids. I really only have five gifts to buy this year. Four of the kids (three families) would probably appreciate the gift and the other would wonder "what the heck?".

The only reason I really started thinking about it this year is because the H.I. catalogue showed up in my box and I liked the fact that something physical came from the gift instead of just a financial contribution. Instead of it being a "I sent money" it was a "I sent bees".

I too enjoy gift buying and giving - picking out something special for each person.

But I'm still leaning towards chickens or bees.

I can see that I have some thinking to do.

<Maybe I could include a little charm bracelet with a chicken or a bee on it.......>

That's a nice idea!

See, that's what I mean, look how this one gift was instrumental in her making a better life. Not to mention the fact where she is now instead of where she would have been will effect their children.

I'm with dadpad...the person getting the goat is just happy they got it.

Amazing how something that would mean so little or even be insulting to us would make a world of difference to the end user.

For people who would be insulted or feel slighted at such a gift, I think they are being very selfish and short sighted.

If you don't know anyone who would appreciate such a gesture, send the gift card to yourself.

Fishin'--

Thanks for the rebuttal.

Over the years I've received a number of gifts that have led me to suspect that the donors do not know or do not care what sort of person I am.

Those are the breaks.

As fishin' remarked, when a third party enters the limelight....

I'd be far happier with a statement such as, "Let's not exchange gifts this year. I'd rather make a donation to Heifer or fighting cancer or conserving the Rockies or baskets for the poor."

Just don't make my charitable contributions for me until you read in my obit "In lieu of flowers...."

Re-evaluating my response - I agree with Fishin' and Noddy, and Dlowan's friend.

I'm not against the charity(ies). Indeed, all should give as they wish, as they can. If friends or family want to give in each others' names, and have an agreement on that, dandy.

I've spent a lot of time in my life picking or making special gifts for people, keeping my eye out all year for just the right thing - not related to cost, but specificity re the person's interests. Have also developed packaging into a personal collage art form, though I don't do that lately.
Much of the time, especially from extended family, I've gotten near useless gifts - but not entirely, as some of the family also got into what I was doing... so that from one cousin, for example, I'd get a book on Florence written and printed in the nineteenth century, just a used book, but a treasure for me - and that she might have bought back in July because that's when she ran across something that reminded her of me.

Our family gatherings got down to the Pick A Name thing happening at Thanksgiving, re the adults - so the one adult gift for Christmas wasn't any kind of burden.
With personal friends for birthday events... over the years, we knew each other's interests and tastes and people generally liked what they got - I've kept a fair percentage since I liked them, and sentiment remains.

It's not that the rest of us don't want a needy person to receive a goat -
the circumstances of the donation matter to us.. The church group giving that JPB mentioned makes sense to me.

Quinn and I just discussed this issue the other night. She had brought up the idea of making donations on the behalf of others for some people for Christmas and we hashed it out.

We came up with a list of 10 or so charities/non-profit groups that we have dealt with in the past and her plan was to send out an e-mail to friends/family basiclly saying "We are considering sending a charitable gift in your name for Christmas. For ideas, we've listed a few we are famaliar with. If you have a favorite group/organization please feel free to respond with the name and we will add it to our list."

Most of the groups we listed deal with woodlands and/or wildlife conservation - The Conservation Trust, Trustees of Reservations, Audobon Society, etc.. because those are OUR interests. Some of the friends/family have similar interests but I don't expect them to embrace ours. I hope that they'd come back with groups that THEY have an interest in or that mean something to them - whether that's buying a goat for someone in Africa or the American Cancer Society is irrelevant to me. What does matter is that the gift means something to them.

That's the crux of it, I think. If you think (with good reason) that recipients would appreciate it, go for it! If not, just make a donation yourself and get them something they would appreciate.