Are there many brits on able2know?

I recall the time I owned a small piece of property that was neighbored by a larger piece of property owned by the British government. For reasons unknown they believed I was squatting on their property and repeatedly ordered me off.

They told me if I didn't move in one week they would have their military take care of the matter. I stifled a yawn and told them I could be found out back tending to my garden and having a spot of tea. (I was actually going to be drinking beer, but I just thought I'd needle them a bit.)

One week later, they showed up as promised....





"Mr. Ratzenhofer!", the leader shouted, "Would you kindly leave our property or we shall be disposed to dispatch of you in a military-type fashion!"

I looked up from my lawn chair and yelled back, "Have at it, you crazy blokes!"

His face steamed over and he gave the order, "Ready...aim....fire!"

I had ample time to duck behind a tree and listen to the bullets whiz by the tree and, on a few occasions, the bullet actually came somewhat close to me. This whole process went on for about an hour. Finally they ran out of ammunition and I calmly walked from behind the tree and approached them.

They looked at me in a puzzled British sort of way, not knowing what to do since they were out of bullets, and I proceeded to bitch-slap the lot of them.

The whole bunch broke down crying and in an attempt to run away they kept running into each other and falling down.

I helped them up, in turn, and directed them on their way with a swift boot in the ass.

That was the last time they bothered me.

Damn brits.

Watchu talkin' 'bout, little?

x

She prefers to be call k. As in little k.

I'm born in the British Zone.

Smorgs? Little Me? Or little someone else?

I just missed the K off, for chrissakes

You Americans are just so picky!

Gus,



...nice grammer, Gus

Who is picky?

<Ellpus walks past with index finger stuck up his nose>


That'll be me, Gus.

Ellpus said you'd forgot to mention clogs, I told him you had remembered.....

She said clogs? I thought it read dogs!


Smorgs obviously edited it behind my back.


Sneaky like that they are.......it comes from having to survive on one's wits in the cold, northern hinterlands, I suppose.

They have to think fast to keep their brains warm?

Yes, or sit on a hot water bottle.

Same result.

Ellpus, now that Smorgs is gone, could you give us a little insight as to the extent of her head injury? How did it happen? Bike accident, wasn't it?

Poor thing.

<Ellpus looks around to see if the coast is clear>


Gus, it was all over our newspapers when it happened.

www.northernayeupchuck.eccles/cakes

"Woman hurt in nosing accident"


A northern woman sustained a minor head injury today, whilst attempting to look over into next doors back yard. Sources report that the neighbour had replaced their old fence with a higher one for reasons of privacy.
Undaunted, and driven by her northern compulsion to know what's going on in her neighbourhood, the woman obtained a six foot step ladder, and proceeded to climb to the top step.
Unfortunately, as all women from the north wear large slippery pink fluffy slippers at all times, she fell, causing minor bruising to the eckythump region of her cranium.
Several more identical accidents were then reported within a short while, as many of her female northern neighbours felt compelled to climb the very same step ladder, in order to see what she was looking at.




........Very sad. Don't tell her I told you, though.

This innocent little thread has gotten waaayy out of hand.


I love it.

pull up your pants

And they said us Krauts were crazy

You are.

But the Brits got there first.

I once heard that there was a kraut who had developed a sense of humor so they had to shoot him.

Darn right, he was!! We don't fuss around with things the Brits do
like sending mad cows to anger management in the hopes to come
back with some common sense. We aim, and shoot!