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Math Teacher Arrested

 
 
shark
 
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:51 am
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the attorney general said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Algebra movement. He
is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," a Justice Department spokesman said.

"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes".

Have a great day!

SOURCE:
NET
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,670 • Replies: 27
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:56 am
That is adorable. Thanks for my laugh of the morning! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:58 am
This story doesn't add up.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 09:00 am
How do ya figure?
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 09:01 am
blacksmithn wrote:
This story doesn't add up.


But that certainly does not subtract from the pleasure of the story.
0 Replies
 
blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 09:02 am
Public opinion seems divided on the matter.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 09:06 am
Bad jokes are multiplying here . . .
0 Replies
 
blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 09:08 am
This thread is already too protracted, as we all feverishly try to figure out new angles for our horrible puns.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 04:31 pm
I can't believe I logged in for this.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 04:35 pm
I calculate, pdog, that you just zeroed in on the first thread you saw.
0 Replies
 
blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 05:16 pm
In sum, I have to say this is ridiculous. Obviously the product of an idle mind.
0 Replies
 
2PacksAday
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 05:54 pm
If only I had a fraction of a thought to add to this discussion...but I am at a loss for words.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 06:28 pm
There's naught to be done but square ourselves up and get to the root of the matter.
0 Replies
 
Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 06:33 pm
This newbie has had too many cones. (Unlike the rest of you squares.)

It's a vicious circle.

edit: pdog, you've already made two points in this line of discussion !!
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 06:37 pm
Yeah, well, now I'm on my own plane.
0 Replies
 
Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 06:38 pm
Can't you at least find another angle?
0 Replies
 
real life
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 07:56 pm
The volume of puns is growing exponentially. Clear the area!
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:10 pm
But the thread's gone two pages without a tangent. That must be a sine of something. Must have hit on something integral to modern life, though sometimes it's difficult to differentiate between novelty and insight.
0 Replies
 
blacksmithn
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:33 pm
Clearly, all of these posts share a common denominator.

Allow me to enumerate.

Absurd story + self-styled humorists = horrible punnage.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Aug, 2006 08:43 pm
Pun' nage: shouldn't that be pun nage'?


This is elliptical thinking..
0 Replies
 
 

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