ellpus wrote:
Quote:seedy looking working class men
Where, where?
have them greased and sent to my room...
Ellpus!!!!
Kiss, Kiss
So glad you're back - and so sorry about your accident!
I used to be a nurse you know...
But isn't it difficult to prune your nuts if you keep them in a box?
I've just been doing some research on the matter of penile injury, and it appears that I may have suffered some brain damage.
Apparently, the part that was violently compressed is the section that contains short term memory, which explains why I was a bit vague about having been away from A2K.
Now that cold compresses have been applied, and the swelling has been reduced, I now remember that I have been to France, and have a stock of photos to process and post.
I feel a new thread coming on...........
Quote:Now that cold compresses have been applied, and the swelling has been reduced
...I'm not saying anything!
I've turned over a new leaf...
Oh, do post pics Ellpus!
Of course I feel very badly for you, m'lord, but I can't help roaring with laughter anyway.
By the bye, have you ever read David Niven's marvelous memoir, The Moon's a Balloon? In it he recounts a similarly hilari...er...semi-tragic incident that befell him on a skiing holiday in the Alps. It was bitter cold, it seems, and at one point -- for reasons best known to himself and his mates -- he began to fear that a bit of frostbite might have affected a particularly masculine part of his anatomy. A quick conference was called and much advice offered by his concerned friends on the slope. They pointed out that if a finger has been frostbitten, one recommended emergency rememdy is to plunge it into a container of alcohol to restore normal circulation. With this in mind, the group sped back to the lodge where Niven and two friends entered the men's loo while another friend ran to the bar to procure a glass of cognac. When the cognac was brought into the loo, Niven proceeded to immerse the afflicted member into the brandy.
He says he and his friends were somewhat taken aback by the startled looks of other skiiers coming into the men's room and seeing this tableau.
Well, I guess you had to be there.
Lord Ellpus wrote:I feel a new thread coming on...........
Lots of fibre and 8 glasses of water a day will cure that!
smorgs wrote:I've turned over a new leaf...
Would that be a fig leaf?
He's back!! A bit disabled, but he's back!
When one attempts to prune one's nuts with a rudimentary hand device, accidents are bound to happen.
I hope the healing is swift and scarless.
Yeh, especially as I had airport asthma. I would have been happy enough with a tad of x year of glenmorangie on ice. Oh, well, I went over and looked at the Missoni booth...
which reminds me of another story.
I got a marvellous Missoni outfit at the Salvation Army for $6.00. They've heard of Liz Clairborne there, but not Missoni....
so, I never did get to wear it and shortly after got heftier.
Still, I thought it was cool - not that all Missoni is, but I liked this..
My niece came to visit. She looked great in it, sooooo slinky, and genuinely liked it. But, as was her wont, having lived a life without many hangers, she tossed it on the floor. I see that. I semi-freak. We discuss this, she says take it back, I say no, just enjoy it. I never see it again. It's called letting go.....
It's amazing how well I can spin a topic off course in a few seconds...
(semi-apologies)
Thanks for the explanation. I was afraid that the wine bottle was not laying on the floor, empty.
Swiftie sees she's answering the wrong thread again.
Bows out, looking to the banquet at the sidetable...
where she spies a nice ham and cheese on rye with mustard...
I think we could have a new game -- "Pin the ossobuco Post to the Correct Thread".
Always interesting, and no less for the challenge, m'dear.
I had a little nut tree
And nothing would it bare
But a damaged nutmeg
And a shrivelled pair.
Sorry m'lud, that's what transportation does to one.
Why is it that I still glance at your avatar and, for a split second, think that you're GreenWitch?
Nice poem, Lezzles.
I shall now try to think of one to place some seriousness back into this thread and at the same time, illicit some sympathy, which was my original intention.
OK....off the top of my head (excuse the pun)
so far, I have......
Under the s-p-r-e-a-d-i-n-g hazelnut tree
I slammed my pruners onto my wil - ly
Whereupon I screamed and felt sil - ly
And now it is bruised and is mad with me.
....or
I had a pair of pruners
That seemed ideal for the job
But when I tried a bit too hard
I went and bruised my ............ I'm still working on the last word.
er...knob? ...would that work?
