I fainted on the Rue de la Rivoli! (La smorgs is back!)

I enjoy this thread so much! You're very amusing, smorgs, and you do bring out the worst in the boys, don't you?

le Petite Dejeuner:

...or in our case 'Le how much can we stuff in our gobs and handbags whilst maintaining an air of sophisication, decorum and nonchalance, grand buffet'.

It was a baccanailian feast of croissants, pain o chocolate, cornflakes, bread 'things', tea, coffee, salmon (?) cheeses of all shapes and aromas
(thought it was Janes trainers), fruits de everykind and juice.

Jane - "have you seen the 'sexy' toaster?"
smorgs - "why is it sexy?"
Jane - "you just press a button and it goes DOWN!"
smorgs - "must be LA toaster then"

smorgs - "don't eat salmon"
Jane - "why not? it's dead expensive at home"
smorgs - "you might get le snog later"
Jane - "so, I thought the French liked women to smell natural, that's why they don't shave under their arms"
smorgs - "but you won't smell like an armpit"
Jane - "Is Julia Roberts French?"
smorgs - "I don't think so"

x

Thanks, cypher, it's all true and only edited by ommision...somethings I am unable to post, for fear of upsetting the religious right.

I like to think they enter this thread as boys...and leave as men.

x

Glad you had a good time, Smorgs :-D

More! More!

Well....apparently no one from Peugot complained <so far!>

Hope you don't need a Pug anytime soon!

I probably wouldn't have either.

Oh yes, the delight of France
PS Does anybody know how long you have to be a member before you are allowed tp PM?

I was told that the PM privilege is related to number of posts. However, if you have been inactive for a long period of time, you may not be able to PM no matter how many posts you had previously.

No, the number is established by an algorithm, so that spammers can't just post an exact number to get to use the pm.
It was set up this way because of past abuses of the pm privelege. This is explained somewhere, perhaps in FAQs, and probably on a few places in the Forum Help forum.

...after breakfast we went by Metro to the centre of Paris.

Saw the Eiffel Tower (which is much bigger in real life than I had imagined) Jane described it as 'like Blackpool, but foreign'. But I can't begin to describe how hot it was...

We had already seen, but not quite understood, the adverts on TV warning people to take care in the heat. We thought we would be able to cope with it, but it was the hottest I had been in my WHOLE LIFE!

We slithered up the Champs Elysee and went for lunch. The restaurant was tres fantastique. Along with plenty of wine (yes, we got drunk - again) we had:

Mussels - which were the best mussels I ever had.
Veal - sorry, I know it's not ethical, but it was the first time I had it and it was delicious!
Pomme tatin - at least it's what I think it was, with ice cream that was the - here it comes again- the best damn apple thing and ice cream I ever had in my life.

I'm afraid this is where I commited the worst faux pas of the holiday. We had been chatting to a Frenchman (how unusual) at the next table, who seemed most amused by our exitement over the food...

so I practised my French:

smorgs - "regardez mois grande jolie moule"
Frenchman - "Madame, you should not say this!"
smorgs - "quelle not?"
Frenchman - "It is a naughty word"
smorgs - "What did I say?"
Frenchman - "look at my big beautiful vagina"
smorgs -
Jane - "what did you say?"
smorgs - "I said look at my big gorgeous fanny" (I was translating)
Jane - "you'll have to remember that for tonight"
smorgs - "I'm not saying that, even if we do get pissed"
Jane - "why not - you have to sell yourself at our age"
smorgs - "your such a slapper"
Jane - "La slapper grande, if you don't mind"

Once again I marvelled at Jane's capacity to utilise her limited knowledge of the French language.

Finally got back to the hotel, so grateful for the air-con again, Jane measured the effectiveness by how hard it made her nipples when we walked in...!!! I said leading air-con companies should employ her, or use a nipple rating on their products.

x

I can't say anything frenchly appropriate........... Since I don't know frenchly approprate words to say.

Still, then,

carry on....

Your dialogs are très knee-slapping humoureux!

Another excellent narrative, smorgs! You should publish this somehow.

You must be f*****g joking. Definitely under-the-counter stuff.

McTag,
I am sure one of the London daily newspapers would love to serialize the adventures of smorgs. As everyone knows, Dickens had published his stories in a similar manner.

Serialise? Bowdlerise, more like. :wink:

The Frenchman takes Smorgs on a romantic boat tour.

OMG

I'm soo happy to get all your positive comments...

Please no more, it will make me too shy to post...

...and really we are all just sat in the local pub/cafe/beirkeller/ bar having a laugh and I'm telling you (my friends, of many posts) about my very own summer of love.

Sarah
x

Is that the bierkeller at the bottom of Beech Road?