I think a lot of this has to do with the personality of the individual, and also how easily one can make friends in person.
Chai Tea wrote:As a matter of fact, there's a guy out in the living room right now having a conversation with my husband, and I'd wish he'd go home. He's a nice guy, but it's Saturday, and it's my time.
Another point, at least for me, is convenience. That probably sounds a bit tacky, but there are times I just don't want someone over visiting. I love my privacy.
When I'm in contact with someone over the internet, it's when I want to do it, and forever long I wish to. I don't have to be tapping my fingers and hint that, well visit's over now - bye.
edgarblythe wrote:....some of those, I don't want too much closeness with. .....
That's how I feel, too.
Letty wrote:Very interesting topic, Reyn, and I have definite thoughts on the subject, but for now, just reading.
Ya'll come back now, here?
nimh wrote:I'm guessing increased mobility is also one of the reasons.
Good point, nimh. With folks moving about, it makes it harder to make and keep friends.
sozobe wrote:One other thought is that it's possible that 1985 was an anamalous spike. I'm not as sure about this idea, but bear with me -- the baby boomers were very much about "make your own family," pick and choose the people you enjoyed and create a community out of them, rather than focusing on your biological family.
That would still be holding sway in 1985, but not so much now.
I think one thing that can be said is that the times are definitely changing.
One thing to factor into it is immigration. Countries like the U.S. and Canada, and areas like Europe have had large influxes of people from all different countries around the world over the past 2 decades. Some of these peoples adapt better than others to life here.
eoe wrote:I still have close in-person friends, friends I've had for decades, but my one true confidante, the only person I shared just about everything with, was my mother and she's passed away so, I've found myself with no one to talk to about certain things. That's when I bring it online.
sozobe wrote:...I just realized you probably meant people moving from one place to another, as well. I'm sure that is a huge part of it, people no longer staying in the place they grew up in. ...
Does anyone feel that it becomes more difficult for us to make friends as we get older?
Many folks whom I have talked to have had friends from when they went to school, but as we get into our 20s and age, we don't do it as readily.
Chai Tea wrote:The other day, someone from down the block was over, just me and her, and we ended up having this really deep conversation for a couple of hours. When she had to leave, she gave me this really big hug, something she'd never done before....I felt a real connection with her over the last few hours, and I guess she felt the same......However, I didn't think afterwards "wow, I hope we do that again soon." It was a life experience, it was enjoyed, then you move on to other experiences. ...
Yes, I feel that way, too. Not everything has to be "life-long". We move from Point A to B to C, etc. We drift through life meeting this person and that person and the accumulated experiences make up our life and our various interactions with a variety of folks, not just necessarily a few.
smorgs wrote:....peoples diminishing circle of close contacts, through 21st Centuary living can give people a sense of isolation and increased depression. close confidents are hard to find. But we have to give technology it's due... the internet (although we all knock it at times) gives those isolated an opportunity to come into close 'mental' contact with others. And that can only be a good thing. ...
I have to whole-heartily agree.
If anything (in my opinion) the internet has the ability to bring us closer together. People whom I would never have any contact with in a million years, are now accessable in a flash.
For example, with the internet corresspondence type chess that I play, despite various time zones, I can now easily play with anyone anywhere. We didn't have that capability 10 years ago.
Here's another example. How about folks with disabilities who can't get out and about to make friends? Talk about being isolated! with the event of the internet in their lives, a whole world of possibilities have opened up.
