Once Upon a Time (Once upon a Perfect Time) - verse

Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2002 08:11 pm
Cold yellow walls, chandeliers like diamonds.
Your body still and silent as a range of ancient tired mountains.
Attend to me, Love; can you feel it; the sadness in our holy mansion?
See, the listless ghost of beauty walks these lonely halls
And the dust of her passing lifts then slowly falls,
Meeting with your flesh and turning gray and ashen.
You look upon her the way any prisoner looks upon the warden,
Then wilt inside your tiny cell, for you know full well there will be no pardon.
Will you sit with me; rise up My Love; come out into the garden.
The sun will be shining there as I comb out your tangled hair
And braid it into a rope the size and length you wore it as a maiden.

Ah, every star's a wishing star;
Dream you're my princess; you are.
It was once upon a perfect time,
Your eyes were cast on mine.
Your hair descended like a jacob's ladder.
I climbed into your den.
We lay down in perfect zen.
But now the forces of destiny gather.

And your body is cold, though the sun's ablaze like diamonds.
My soul aches for you, My Love, even as it roves to look for future mansions.
We are betrayed by time and death, dear Murdered Rose. I must burn this house of pretensions.
The dogs of loss sniff outside the door impatiently,
Smell your flesh so sweet. Don't feel hate for me
As I spill upon the floor in floods the gasoline, don't mention
How your magic gave to me selfish love, oh bird in detention.
See the flames embrace the timbers and lace, then hug the lovely statue in the garden.
As I haste to leave, Good-bye, My Love, I know a mansion afar that's waiting.
Animals dance without care for the sleeping maiden there
Whose's love is a golden award for the one invading.

And every star's a wishing star;
Dream you're my princess; you are,
Every once upon a time,
Every once upon a perfect time.
See her on the bed asleep, My Love.
See; she lies so still and pure;
Our love will be cement and sure,
This one more once upon a perfect time.
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Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2002 09:46 pm
Edgar, this is beautiful. I would love to know the story behind the lovely words.
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Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2002 09:59 pm
my verse
I thought I proof read better than that.

I hear the voice of Leonard Cohen when I write a piece like this. I set out to put a new spin on "Rapunzel" and it evolved from there.
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Reply Sat 9 Nov, 2002 02:58 pm
Very nice edgerbyth so senusal and sweet.
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Reply Sun 10 Nov, 2002 12:10 am
Hi, Joanne. I never know whether to post something original because I am too close to it to judge how well I've done. I thought I'd be more outgoing and see what reaction I get. Now I'm working off and on at a new verse titled "Jedediah Smith".
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Reply Sun 10 Nov, 2002 11:45 am
Edgar, ole pal...

Post. always post. Not only do you get free feedback, but by and large we are all easily impressed...
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Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2010 02:03 pm
I believe this took longer to write than any of my other verses.
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