A rose by any other name.

I bet it is either Cala, or Mity

My given name (both first and last) were pretty common. This caused financial difficulty when my student loan got accidently mixed up with someone else's which was a real mess to clean up. I even had a namesake on the FBI top most wanted list for a while (I glad this wasn't part of the mix up).

When I got married, It was important to me that my wife and I have the same last name and I didn't want giver either the cultural burden (in Spanish culture wives don't take their husbands last name) or the boringness of the second most common last name in the country.

Hyphenating was a perfect solution with the added benefit that according to Google I am now unique. I like that.

Name stuff


Do you go by your name or a nickname? First name, most of the time. Sometimes I actually go by jes, which is kinda sorta close to my actual name. But I don't do it much and really not at work. I absolutely hate the shortening of my already rather short first name which people have tried to thrust upon me ever since I was a child (when I was in 6th grade, there were 2 of us with identical first names, identical middle initials and the first 3 letters of our last names were identical. I was the one stuck with having to change). I do not want to be called the same as the middle sister on the Brady Bunch. I also get a confusion a lot of the time, like if there's a bad connection and someone thinks my name is a similar one that sounds like mine but isn't. Very annoying.

How do you feel about your name? It's okay, not fantastic. I can see the 2 syllable thing as working, though, as my maiden name is 2 syllables, and now my maiden and married names are joined by a hyphen, so anything beyond 2 syllables makes it even clunkier sounding. When I answer the phone at work, I just say my name. There's no time to get out a "good morning" or "how may I help you". I've got syllable creep.

What name would you chose for yourself? I used to choose flowery and long names like Katherine, or odd literary names like Demelza. My mother had considered naming me Julianne or Juliana, which in retrospect would have been even more syllable creep.

How does your name connect you with your history? Quite a bit. As Ashkenazim, we name after the dead. My first name, along with my cousins Jane and Jamie, is for our great-grandmother, Yetta. Fortunately, none of us were saddled with Yetta. My middle name is for a relative on my father's side.

Re: A rose by any other name.

This could be a very interesting thread.

Do you go by your name or a nickname? It depends. Most everyone I know calls me by my name, but several of my brother's friends call me by a nickname he gave me in high school. I hate it.

How do you feel about your name? Okay. It's not great, rather plain in my opinion, but it's fine.

What name would you chose for yourself? I almost ended up with my middle name, Anthony, as my first name. I would rather have had that, personally.

How does your name connect you with your history? That I know of, it doesn't. From what I've been able to find, no one in my family shares my first name, but I'm still researching my family tree. I've found records as far back as the early 1700's, so someone somewhere was bound to share my name.

Interesting thread.

How does your name connect you with your history?
Nobody in my family has my name.

How do you feel about your name?
It was OK until people started to shorten it- either it was very girlish, which I detested or it sounded like a boy's name.
So about 40 years ago I shortened it myself to Ul.
This is my name now. If I am addressed with my real first name I often don't know that people are talking to me.


What name would you chose for yourself?
I have never thought about that. Sarah or Kate I like.

Name or nickname?
Ul might be a nickname, but now it is my "real" name.
I have no middle name, but added my maiden name to my new family name.

boomer, I once told someone that the only thing that we really own is our name and our birthday. I still believe that to be true.

Okay, I have three nicknames.

I have one that is official and another where I get my mail and sign my checks. Then there is the name that is rich in history, and I am the only one in my family who has that name.

Much too involved to explain further, honey.

Thank you all for making this thread such an interesting read!

Reading though this I remembered a time when I decided to go by the name "Bea". I just started introducing myself as Bea and before I knew it everyone, even people who knew my real name, people who had known me for years and years, were calling me Bea.

My family all lived in another state and when they came to visit they were totally freaked out that everyone called me Bea.

I still love the name and if I ever do change my name it will surely be to Bea.

Re: A rose by any other name.


This is complicated. I'll make it simpler by telling you that my birth name is Susan. Everyone in my family calls me Susie, even though I am WELL past the age where that seems appropriate. My friends all call me Sue, but I don't like that name. People who don't know me well call me Susan and that's OK. My husband doesn't know what the heck to call me, so he calls me Swimpy (or Hey You.).



I think it's blahh. My married name is very common. There are about five of me in my small town alone. My maiden name is unusual, but also easy to make fun of. I wasn't sad to lose it.



Lupe Calderone (Sounds exotic, doncha think?)



No, I was actually supposed to be named Shirley after Shirley Temple. It was my Sister's turn to name the new baby. The nurses at the hospital started calling me Susie and it stuck. Sis was a bit po'd.

A rose by any other name.
Rant for the day:

What makes me mad about names is that my given name is one that no one pronounces properly. My nickname (by which I have always been called, my entire life) is simple and easy to remember.

OK, but now comes the problem: When I register anywhere - a doctor's office, or wherever - I have to give my legal name, not the one I actually go by. So the receptionist/nurse/whoever thinks they're being all friendly and cozy and call me by my given name. They're not my friends, however nice they may be; in effect they are working for me, and I would really appreciate the courtesy of having them use my last name.

Further to this point, my legal given name is very common, but I don't readily answer to it, because I'm never listening for it and others in the waiting room may well have the same name. On the other hand, my last name is unusual and no one else in the waiting room is apt to respond to it.

Why do people try for this artificial friendliness, anyway? Maybe I'll make this question into a different thread!

A rose by any other name.
How does your name connect with your history?

I am named for one maternal grandparent, and the nickname was the one used by a paternal great-grandparent. So it was a simple choice - it avoided the confusion of being called by a living grandparent's name (the family was very close, and my mother's parents were very much a part of my life) and also memorialized my father's grandparents who both died before I was born.
Kind of a neat solution, I think.

.."Why do people try for this artificial friendliness, "

Here you would always been called by your last name.
Here we have different pronouns- Sie and du.(In English is it always "you").
Du you use with friends and family. Sie you use when talking to strangers. So I would use "Sie" when talking to a teacher of my kids, although I know them.
Now we have a store here which has the policy to use the informal du(You).
I am not sure if this is only friendliness. It seems to me it shortens the distance. Somehow I would like to keep my distance.

Whenever someone calls for my husband and uses his first name, I know it's either the doctors or someone trying to sell us something.

He's gone by his middle name since he was 2 days old.

Do you go by your name or a nickname? My real name is Helen and everyone calls me that. My family occasionally call me Hel, and my online moniker is generally always Heeven (a nickname that only one person calls me).

How do you feel about your name? I like my name, I've never had an issue with it. My parents and sisters call me Hel on occasion, when they are feeling playful. I find it very endearing and I quite like the fact they insinuate I am Hellish, which I am.
My last name is a very common Irish name but it irritates me how Americans ALWAYS spell it incorrectly.

What name would you chose for yourself? Esmeralda. I remember reading a book when I was young about a witch called Esmeralda and I was absolutely charmed by the name. I went around calling myself Esmeralda for a couple of weeks but I do like my own name.

How does your name connect you with your history? I've no idea. I like the fact that I am not named after anyone in particular, although I do hate my middle name (which I never tell anyone).

I used to want a nickname when I was a kid but never got one. The closest I've ever had to one is my screen name here, which my sister gave to me when I was in my early twenties.

Like soz (I think I'd probably call you that in person, it's so easy), I find little kids with my name all the time and find it weird. Two little girls in my daughter's preschool class have it, but I don't meet many adults with it, and I guess that suits me fine.

I didn't change my last name when we married because 1) I'm a lazy ass and 2) I'm attached to it even if I've never like it much. I guess I feel like, whether I'm in love with the name or not, it's mine and I'm going to keep it.

Names are so interesting though. Boomer's story about her brother naming her reminded me of the story of my husband's name. Apparently, his older brother was the only one in the family who could read and write. When my husband was born, they sent the brother down to the registrar to register the birth. Well, he didn't like the name his parents had given his new little brother, so he picked a different one and registered that one. Nobody knew until my husband's first day of school. To this day, when we visit, everyone calls him by his old name, the one his parents chose. Only myself and a few younger ones call him by his actual legal name. When I first heard that they called him something else, I said whoa, that name is so totally wrong for him. I told him he should thank his brother for giving him a better one.

A lot of traditional names have a come-back, like Lilly/Lillie, Victoria,
Elizabeth, Martha, Anna, Grace, etc.

My name is Stephen, and I have always liked my name, but I hate when it is shortened to Steve...really, really hate it. I don't mind the other derivatives...Stevie, Stevie Boy, Step, Step-on, or even Steph...which is what I actually prefer if it has to be shortened...some people seem unable to produce the extra energy required to say my name in full.

"Hello, my name is Stephen"
"Oh, Hi Steve"
"UGggggGGgg"

Which makes me want to shorten their name to ...Mark - Mar...John - Ja...Ric - R....etc...

I guess my nick is Sam, which is an anagram of my name, my wifes name then our last name, It's what I usually go by, to avoid the whole "Steve" thing. Most guys in construction have nick names...mine is "Long Hair" which is self explanatory.

Middle name is Ray...so I'm a Stevie Ray, which is cool because of Mr. Vaughan. And some of my other favorite singers share the name as well....Stevie Wonder and Stevie Nicks.

My sister is named Stephanie, and our full names were almost identical until she got married. We are pretty close, so it's cool that we sort of share a name.

Can I call you Steve-a-rino?

I like stephen...it's a good solid name
but I'll confess, I like steve too.

How do you feel about Steven?

I have noticed, that Jews give their kids the name Steven, Gentiles more tend to Stephen.

A rose by any other name
If someone introduces himself/herself by full first name, then other person should use that name. It's only basic good manners. Nicknames or shortened versions of a given name are used among friends and family. If I wanted to be called "Marty" I would introduce myself as such, and expect people to call me that. If I introduced myself as "Martin", I would expect the courtesy of being called that.

A rose by any other name
Yes, Ul, I agree. A bit of distance in business/medical/etc dealings doesn't hurt. It defines the situation, while forced friendliness just muddles things up.

Yet, it is customary in the United States to call people by their first name -
in Europe it is not. Only friends and family are addressed in a familiar
manner, everyone else is called by their last name.

In business when I am asked for my name, I always tell them my
last name, and that's how I get called. Plus, most Americans don't
know how to pronounce my first name - despite being only 4 letters -
so they opt for my last name. I like that!