Reconstruction - A New Life, A Changed Life, The End of Life

Going together is romantic, but I'm glad she let you live.

Nods..

Anon,
I don't know you and I didn't have the opportunity to know your beloved JayBea either. I believe that she left you here alone because she loves you deeply. I say loves rather than loved because love does not die.

In order for you to have gone with her, you would have had to go in a way other than natural causes. That is something that is very hard for somebody to be part of. JayBea obviously knew that you are a man of strength and could carry on until it is your turn. On that day, I believe that you will be together once more.

Cherish the past and look forward to the future. Take care.

Dying is a very personal and private thing. I think JayBea knew you had more living to do. So now it is your duty to live.

Everyone dies alone.

Anon, it doesn't sound like she chose to go that way. It sounds like she couldn't help it.

I'm sure she loved you very much and didn't want to leave you. In fact, I'll bet she's close to you even now and always will be.

Count me in with others that are glad you're still here!

She wasn't supposed to ... that was the whole idea!

Anon

But it's good to know that ONLY the living suffer.

I'm glad for it. Sorry.

"And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."

Aeschylus


My thoughts and prayers are with you, my dear friend.

JayBea didn't die alone. I'm sure she knew you were there with her. Just as I'm sure that her love for you will never die.

At the end of our lives, all that really matters is whether we were loved. You gave JayBea what she needed most. You couldn't do anything more important than that.

I understand what you are saying , anon. I wish I had comforting words, but I don't know how to present them.

Anguish prevents festering, but only time cures grief.

Hold your dominion.

What can I add, here? I don't even know if you care, but I'm truly sorry for your loss.

I think the scariest thing that can happen to anyone is to be forgotten. It's worse than death. Jaybea lives on inside you - trite, but true!

Without reading the wonderful things you've written the last few days, I would have no idea about the kind of person Jaybea was; thanks to the fact you are alive, I do.

Thank you and god bless

Cycloptichorn

Hi, anon.

I've stayed away because I'm still raw from losing my husband, but your thread title made me smile. It's a great title--because it represents a refusal to crawl in a hole, which is what we want to do.

It's so new to you. Hang on.

This is what has kept me alive so far:

1) I don't have to die now. Living is passive--dying will take some energy.
2) I wouldn't have wanted my husband to suffer like I'm suffering--and you wouldn't have wanted Jaybea to, either.
3) My unborn grandchildren deserve at least one fabulous grandparent from my children's side of the family.
4) And, there are things I wanted to do in my life that I haven't done yet. I've (and you've) been through enough. Time for some unrestrained self-actualization.

The bad times are thick and suffocating in the first few months. Then, later, you'll be going about your routine and suddenly, it's like someone materialized and slaps you. It's new all over again. You'd think the "first time" realization would dull a bit or you'd get used to it. It's new and fresh for months.

I'm not telling you this to bring you down. I'm telling you so you know it's normal. Nothing I can say can bring you down lower than where you are.

Hang in. There's life to be lived before you die.

Anytime you want to talk, cry, curse or celebrate.... I'm here.

I'm proud of your thread. Stay here. Write it out.

My condolences to you as well in your time of mourning, Lash.

Stuff like this makes arguing about politics seem silly

Cycloptichorn

I have probably come off as terribly harsh-sounding. I'm sorry. I know that you, Byron, were there for JayBea at the end. I just think that in the end, in that last moment, you go on alone. If you take your life with your partner, you still go that last step alone.

There is pain that you are experiencing that is unfathomable to me. but this thread's start sounded too much like you want to be dead with JayBea and I don't think that's the best soultion. Cyclop makes a good point. You are JayBea's best advocate now that she's gone.

Thank you, cyclops.

Lilk, I think most people understood where you were coming from.

It's scary when someone you care about sounds like they're letting go. I think it's sweet that you cared enough to be reproachful.

I believe anon's considered letting go, and he may still be considering it-- but I believe he'll move through it, and heal.

It's weird to find a new reason to live.

Thick and thin there are some pretty good people here! (really good)
2nd day in a a row I get teary here.