I've been having these blackouts.....now I'm a little afraid

Forums:
Email this Topic • Print this Page

It couldn't be, could it?

No carrot is safe as monster rabbit goes on rampage

By Andrew Norfolk

A rabbit as big as this giant lop-ear is tormenting allotment-holders in Felton, Northumberland.

WHEN rumours began to spread about a monstrous rabbit stalking a Northumberland village, some locals unwisely dismissed it as an April Fool’s prank.
They are laughing no more. It may be a bunny story, but the chilling tale of the Beast of Felton is a haunted stranger to the world of Watership Down.

At the Northumberland Arms, hunched villagers whisper of the giant, ravenous rabbit prowling the community at night. No one, it seems, can catch it, and no home-grown vegetable is safe.

The creature leaves behind huge footprints, has diabolically shaped ears and is proving the biggest threat to cabbages in the history of the local allotment. So strong that it is able to pull leeks and turnips fully out of the soil, the black-and-brown rabbit has already demolished a market stall’s worth of Japanese onions, parsnips and spring carrots.

The allotment-holders of Felton, which is north of Morpeth, have taken stern measures, with no success, to capture it. A dozen have clubbed together to hire two guards armed with air rifles, one of whom is a licensed gamekeeper. Both have orders to shoot to kill if they catch sight of the beast.

The parish council has given the hunters its support. Jeff Smith, 63, who has tended an allotment in Felton for 25 years, first saw the rabbit in February. He said: “This is no ordinary rabbit. We are dealing with a monster. It’s absolutely massive.

“The first time I saw it, I wasn’t sure what it was. Its prints are huge, about the size of a deer. It’s a brute of a thing. We have two lads here with guns who are trying to shoot it, but it’s too clever. They never see it.”

Since Mr Smith first saw the huge rabbit, three other allotment-holders have also reported sightings of the beast. A fifth sighting came when a local woman saw it “thundering” across her lawn through early morning rain...............

Full Story Here....

You don't think I have touched the Dark Side once too often, do you?

Do you have a were alter ego which terrorises the community in the wee small hours?

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 3,758 • Replies: 135

No top replies

Quote:

... have orders to shoot to kill if they catch sight of the beast.

Psssst, dlowan.... a little closer.

0 Replies

I'm assuming this news item was printed 1 April, no?

But, as for the Dark Side, Deb, I thought you held title to it.

0 Replies

Diabolically shaped ears... Oh dear, I only know one rabbit who fits that description.

Do you want me to strap you down with rabbit-proof restraints every night? I'd do it, only because I care for you and hate to see you suffer this terrible uncertainty.

Oh and I'll take video as you desperately try to gnaw through the straps once the metamorphosis has taken place, just to ease your mind, get some answers, ya know.

No need to thank me, I live to serve my fellow man... woman... rabbit... you get the idea.

0 Replies

Sozobe revealed a bit of her dark, kinky side when she wrote:

Do you want me to strap you down with rabbit-proof restraints every night?

The things you don't know about A2Kers.

0 Replies

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Quote:
... have orders to shoot to kill if they catch sight of the beast.

Psssst, dlowan.... a little closer.

Gus! You're here!

Now YOU, I assume, ARE the fearsome shape some gentle, unsuspecting soul assumes at midnight?

Merry Andrew wrote:

I'm assuming this news item was printed 1 April, no?

But, as for the Dark Side, Deb, I thought you held title to it.

April 7th, actually.

Shocked

sozobe wrote:

Diabolically shaped ears... Oh dear, I only know one rabbit who fits that description.

Do you want me to strap you down with rabbit-proof restraints every night? I'd do it, only because I care for you and hate to see you suffer this terrible uncertainty.

Oh and I'll take video as you desperately try to gnaw through the straps once the metamorphosis has taken place, just to ease your mind, get some answers, ya know.

No need to thank me, I live to serve my fellow man... woman... rabbit... you get the idea.

Sozobe, you are a true friend. Yes, please, strap me with golden restraints, like the Prince in "The Silver Chair"...oh wait....he returned to his good, true, self at night, did he not?

Life as a Jekyll and Hyde is SO confusing....

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Sozobe revealed a bit of her dark, kinky side when she wrote:
Do you want me to strap you down with rabbit-proof restraints every night?

The things you don't know about A2Kers.

Dark side? THAT is what you think of as Sozobe's dark side?

Oh goddess, had the poor hamsters but the tongues of humans, what dark tales would unfold about the dark labyrinths of A2k on certain, cursed nights...and the fell tread of Our Rosie, which brings doom to all abroad at that fatal moment...

0 Replies

Uhhhh.....

I'm going to the neighbors to bum a joint......

0 Replies

Re: I've been having these blackouts.....now I'm a little af

dlowan wrote:

You don't think I have touched the Dark Side once too often, do you?

you do seem to have been touching something

0 Replies

Hold your front right foot up to your mouth. Blow out and then breath in real quick....

What do you smell?

Tuuurrrniippp, maybe?

0 Replies

Hmmmmmmm.........basil.

0 Replies

Oh, crap. Not a wererabbit!

0 Replies

http://www.figuresworld.net/movies_tv/wallacegromit/wg6inch_wererabbit.jpg

I believe Deb's ears are a tad more diabolically shaped, though.

0 Replies

What'cha got there, soz, is a long eared ape.

0 Replies

I have this Will to Believe in this bunny of the article...

0 Replies

roger wrote:

Oh, crap. Not a wererabbit!

Be afraid, be very afraid,,,

Are there weredonkeys?

Or were there aredonkeys?

No, that's not right....

sozobe wrote:

I believe Deb's ears are a tad more diabolically shaped, though.

That, madam, is an ABOMINATION!

What the hell is diabolical shaped like, anyway?

ossobuco wrote:

I have this Will to Believe in this bunny of the article...

And the good thing is that whenever anyone says the magic words "wererabbit" some stupid, nimby pimby, Disneyfied erstax Fairy dies....leaving more Fairy holes for the real thing!

0 Replies

I am wondering if "Fairy hole" was quite the best way to describe them...

0 Replies

When the site shuts down and the A2kers go to sleep, then, and only then, does dlowan shed her online facade and reveal her true self....

http://www.resincrypt.com/images/kits/thumbs/TMR01.jpg

I've been having these blackouts.....now I'm a little afraid

Quick Links

My Account

able2know