Some thoughts on living.

>
>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>
>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
>
>2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
>
>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
> the second person.
>
>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>
>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>
>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>
>7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>
>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>
>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>
>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>
>1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
>
>2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
>
>3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
>
>4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
>
>5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
>
>6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.
>
>
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>
>
>
>1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
>
>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
>
>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
> down there.
>
>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair
> that you once got from a roller coaster.
>
>5) Its frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers
> to ask you the questions.
>
>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>
>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>
>
>
> THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>
>
>
>1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>
>2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>
>3) You are Santa Claus.
>
>4) You look like Santa Claus.
>
>
>
> SUCCESS:
>
>
>
>At Age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
>
>At Age 12 success is . . . having friends.
>
>At Age 16 success is . ... having a drivers license.
>
>At Age 20 success is . .. . having sex.
>
>At Age 35 success is . .. . having money.
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>At Age 50 success is .. . . having money.
>
>At Age 60 success is .. . .. having sex.
>
>At Age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.
>
>At Age 75 success is . . . having friends.
>
>At Age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
>
>
>
>Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh Always remember to forget
the
>troubles that pass your way BUT never forget to remember the blessings
that
>come each day.
>
>Make love, not war. --Hell, do both, get married!
>
>===== "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
>moments that take our breath away.