Are you comfortable with silence?

I've heard /read, that the mark of a good marriage is to feel comfortable with silence in the same room as you're in with your spouse (or friend, etc), and not have it mean that you're mad at each other.

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Yeah, one of the things my best friend and I appreciate about each other is that we don't have to be "on" all the time when we're together -- when she visits, we talk a lot, but also just hang out, and also have time when we retreat to our own corners and do our own thing.

That said, I do really enjoy the hustle and bustle of social situations, especially all-deaf ones where communication isn't an issue.

I wonder if one reason we're all here is because we like to have social contact but also like that we can just walk away from it at any time, here...?

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sozobe wrote:

I wonder if one reason we're all here is because we like to have social contact but also like that we can just walk away from it at any time, here...?

Bingo! We have a winner! Give the nice lady a prize! :wink:

http://writtenword.adhost.com/pwp010/public/images/First%20PrizeSO02955.gif

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Oh yeah soz, that's one of the things I like about A2K, you can walk away anytime.

2packs - I know actually being on the construction site is very noisy, but oddly enough, sounds of construction going on, let's say in the floor above me at the office doesn't bother me at all.

I know it's just people doing their job.

Comfortable silence in a friendship, oh yeah, that's the best Reyn.

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oh dear I think Im a tornado person, I get ready in the morning to music
I drive to work with music and I have a radio in my office which I listen to music all day long while doing my work.

If I am at home by myself and dont feel like listening to music I turn the T.V on with no intent to watch it, just so there is no silence around me...my partner is the same except his preference is music all the time, not T.V...yet I can go all day without talking to anyone quite easily, as long as I have noise....never thought about it until now.

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KiwiChic wrote:

oh dear I think Im a tornado person, I get ready in the morning to music
I drive to work with music and I have a radio in my office which I listen to music all day long while doing my work.

If I am at home by myself and dont feel like listening to music I turn the T.V on with no intent to watch it, just so there is no silence around me...my partner is the same except his preference is music all the time, not T.V...yet I can go all day without talking to anyone quite easily, as long as I have noise....never thought about it until now.

Naw, you're only a strong gale person....

A true Tornado Person enters a room and completely upsets the equilibrium of whatever was going on. Everything could be running smoothly...but the TP asks a bunch of questions about stuff already taken care of, then, doesn't listen to the answer because they're already 5 miles up the road.

Another sign is either giving you WAY to much information, or not enough. One of their favorite expressions is "I told you that"...no, you probably told 10 other people though. Then, they'll go the other way, and let you know about 5 times they are going to go to the bathroom.

They also tend to think you can read their minds....I've had my boss come in the room and just say "so.....?"

It's not really the music, it's this need to constantly be making noise of some sort, even if it's just their own voice.

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my boss yells when he talks, I just ignore him until he repeats himself silly....I just say to him to take his voice down a notch so I can hear him.

lovely man that he is lol

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<ellpus rushes in, playing air guitar>

Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

BWOW BWOW BWOW BWA BWA BWA

BWOW BWOW BWOW BWA BWA BWA

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
OOOOOOOOOh baby-can't do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta.......

Oh.....hello, why are you all looking rather annoyed?

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>throws tomato<

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Bugger you then! I'm off where the LOUD people are, baby.

<tunes up air guitar, runs out of room>

Every night I grab some money and I go down to the bar

oowoomaaashooodlywoooma a oowoomaaashooodlywoooma

I got my buddies and a beer, I got a dream, I need a car

oowoomaaashooodlywoooma a oowoomaaashooodlywoooma

You got me begging on my knees, c'mon and throw the dog a bone
A man he doesn't live by rock 'n roll and brew alone
Baby baby, BABY, BABY

Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew.........<SLAM>

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I have a tornado child, or make that a hurricane child.
From the minute she wakes up until she goes to bed,there is
a constant noise level surrounding her. That child can talk and laugh nonstop for hours on end, and when I finally shut her
up, she's listening to music - thank goodness with headsets.

I feel pity for the guy who is going to marry her one day.
He'd better be a quiet and patient man.

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Eeks! Tornado people make me edgy and grumpy. I talk less around them (they aren't listening anyways), which results in sending their noisiness even higher. Weird, they are. Strange creatures.
It's really draining to me. I like a nice ebb and flow to the day. I know my nervous system is sensitive - is it any wonder in dis world we live in?

Morning: Please no house music, punk, cell phones ringing by my head. Please don't interrupt my morning coffee ritual, and please don't come barrelling through with big nazi-nurse joy-joy!

Afternoon: Sure, go ahead, just don't expect me to stick around you for long.

Evening/Night: Loud music is for concerts, parties, big get togethers. Please don't shove it down my throat, if I come to visit you please don't blare the TV the entire time, have four projects on the go, cell phone ringing, blah blah blah.

Basically, tornado people drive me nuts.
Laughing

It's the whole feeling of people not actually being where they are, instead lost in their heads and pumping out constant noise and chatter, or fiddling and not focusing for 30 seconds at a time.
Sucking all the air!

......end of rant

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Just finished reading Chai's opening post.

Hee hee hee! Boy, does that sound like something I can empathise with.

Echo, Chai. Right on. <nods>

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flushd wrote:

Morning: Please no house music, punk, cell phones ringing by my head. Please don't interrupt my morning coffee ritual, and please don't come barrelling through with big nazi-nurse joy-joy!

Evening/Night: Loud music is for concerts, parties, big get togethers. Please don't shove it down my throat, if I come to visit you please don't blare the TV the entire time, have four projects on the go, cell phone ringing, blah blah blah.

Echo that rant too, though luckily I dont get confronted by the evening version much. But the nazi-nurse joy-joy before you got settled into your work (or ever, really) - oh god! Or the people loudly asking questions about the very thing they're gonna check themselves next up, yelling at you from inside another office or room, etc - groan.

Funny thing is, I love music. Up till I came here I pretty much always had music on. But TV - if the TV's on, you watch it. Cant stand someone having the TV on and having a full-on conversation with you at the same time. Turn the damned thing off! At least music (some music) was made for the background; TV isnt.

Tho the thing actually comes up with music too. You want to play some track for someone, talk about how this one, yeah this - you love it, its your favorite, the lyrics, listen - or you might even outright tell this person, lemme play this song I was talking about for you - at the third note, they're already hammering away again talking. Listening, in silence? I get the feeling they'd rather run in fear...

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Reyn wrote:

sozobe wrote:
I wonder if one reason we're all here is because we like to have social contact but also like that we can just walk away from it at any time, here...?

Bingo! We have a winner! Give the nice lady a prize! :wink:

Tee hee hee...

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I avoid one of our local supermarkets because not only do they have their own radio station blaring specials, bad music, and employee paging, but they also have TV's. The TV's blare commercials for various products and obnoxious recipes for dishes that always start with open a can of Campbell's XXXX soup or measure out two cups of sugar... Half the time you can't hear anything because of the noise competition.

Last summer we had a big lightening storm that knocked out the electric. My husband and I were reading in bed with flashlights when I noticed something seemed strange - it took me a minute to realize I couldn't hear the computer buzzing from the room across the hall or the humming refrigerator or the hot water heater gurgling away. It was nice- and probably one of the few times my old farmhouse sounded the way it was meant to when it was built back in 1860.

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Typically, I was horrified enough at this idea to start a thread about it: No escape, part X: Ads in cabs

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There are times where I'm the tornado: Friday and Saturday night when I'm drunk.

And I love loud music. In my car, at home, anywhere. Even though I don't usually crank my music at home unless I know nobody else is home and it's not late at night.

But I don't like talking on my cell phone in public places, talking loudly in quiet places, ect.

So I think I know when the time to be a tornado is, and I know when to be quiet.

And you know what else is fun? Making a woman a tornado, if you know whaddumsayin'.

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Yikes, Chai, I'd go a ltiitle batty in your workplace.

I like quiet. I love being alone for long strecthes of time and I crave it when life gets busy. By busy I mean no down time. Down time means not having to respond to anyone or anything except the whim of my brain. Showers are good for this. Maybe that's why I take long ones.

As for quiet with other people - it depends on the people. Quiet with family works well (but we can be a riotous family at times, too), quiet with friends is good (but, sometimes it can be uncomfy - depends on the friend), quiet in the workplace seems sort of key to getting work done (unless you take care of kids in any capacity).

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Littlek, you can vouch for me.

I'm quiet.

RIGHT?

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Are you comfortable with silence?

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