Are you comfortable with silence?

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Ok - I'm just really frustrated here. So maybe this is just a download.

I mentioned this before in another thread about music, and people didn't seem to know what I was talking about the old "Well I would never do that" syndrome.

Since 5am when I got up, I haven't listened to the TV, radio, or even said more than "Hi, Good Morning!" to anyone.

Frankly, it's been very peaceful.

My boss (and this is really not about her, it can be any hypothetical person) just walked in the front door, didn't even make it as far as her office, before bellowing "CHAI!" I know not to respond, because by the time she makes it to her desk, she's completely forgotten she's even said my name. Then, "WHO LEFT ME A VOICE MAIL!!!!????" Again, it's useless to respond, since obviously came in after hours, and I've learned from experience if I respond "I don't know" the response will be "WELL, SOMEONE CALLED, WHO WAS IT!!!???" Anyway, at the same time she's yelling that, she's dialing into her VM.

Simultaneously, while checking her VM, she turning on some ipod music system thingie she got for Christmas. I have no idea what it is, and don't care.I do know though that the first time I heard it I actually got up and looked out the window to see who just parked a low rider in the parking lot. OMG, the bass on this thing vibrates from her office, through mine, and then down to the next 2 in line.

Unfortunately, when you are the tornado, you don't realize that before you passed through everything wasn't in some type of upheaval. I don't believe a tornado person realizes what they are doing.

Soon with the story.The thrumming BOOM BOOM BOOM was so loud I actually could not concentrate of reading something. So, knowing the response, but knowing somewhere in this cosmos I too have my rights, I went over and asked "That bass is really loud, would you mind turning it down just a little?"

Now here's the part no one admits to, but I see it all the time.First, there's this look of "What, you want me to turn down MY music?" then there a slight narrowing of lips, as if they have to keep their mouth shut or they're afraid of what they might say. Then, finally, there's the slight turning down of the music, so that Celine Dions or whoevers screeching doesn't sound so much like labor pains.

It's not the music per se, it's this pervasive loudness and boisterousness. I guess to me it comes down to this feeling that extroverts do really feel they have more rights than introverts.

All those who know me from here must realize I'm quite a talker myself, and like to laugh more than anythingbut I can see when someone if physically cringing away from me if I'm talking too much for them, and guess what? I shut up.

To those of you that constantly have the music, cell phone, blah blah blah going.Do you ever notice that some people seem uncomfortable around you? Do you then think "So what? It's my right to express myself through this music and whatever"

If you say "I've never seen any people uncomfortable", you haven't been looking. It's also others right NOT to have to listen to your expressing yourself through music, and we can't always get away from you.

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I'm a bit more like you Chai.

We rarely go to the movies anymore but when we do it is usually as matinee. Not only is it less expensive but there are fewer people around. We usually only go to movies that have been out for awhile too in order to cut down on the people in the theater even further.

Well we broke all of our rules to go see Memoirs of Geisha. There was this couple a row behind us and a few seats to our left that just started talking halfway through the movie. I kept thinking they would stop but they just kept going. Finally I turned around and asked them to stop talking during the movie. The guy says "What?" not in the he didn't hear what Isaid way but the I can't believe you just asked me that way. I repeated "Would you mind not talking during the movie.' He gave me this quizzical look and finally shut up but he acted like it was such an inconvenience to him.

We won't be going to a late weekend show for some time.

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I know the feeling.

People who 'relax' to loud music,
talk a few pitches higher and a few tones louder then everyone else so they can be heard.

Talk about everything, and cant handle.. just sitting still.

I think it is a product of our society.

We sell NOISE machines to children.

Have RECORDINGS of nature in the music store since we cant hear it above everything else.

Commercials are produced with louder tones so the listener has to distinguish between the show and whats for sale during the pauses of the show.

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I agree with the two of you. I am retired, and live with my husband. As soon as he wakes on, the music goes on. Now it's classical, and I like classical, but I hate it blaring at me. We have one of those houses where the wall between the kitchen/dinette and living room, does not go completely up to the ceiling. So if you play the radio in the dinette, you can hear it all over the house.

I have XM in my car. I get XM for free on my computer. At first I was delighted by the idea, but found that it was very distracting to surf the net, while music is playing. I tried turning it down to "elevator" level. So my husband walks in and says, "Why are you playing it so low? You can't even hear it."

The funny thing is, that I always play music in my car. I will NEVER play music though, when someone is riding in the car with me. I have been subjected to this with other people, and think that it is the height of rudeness. To me, there is something very annoying to attempt to have a conversation, while having to talk over a radio station.

I never go to the movies anymore. I can't stand the volume level in the theatres, or the yakking of other patrons. So I have a subscription to Blockbuster Online, see the movies that I want, when I want it, with no interference.

I dread going to a store which sells CDs. I find the music, and the noise levels, most upsetting.

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Me: Tom Smith called and asked you to call back.

Boss: What did he want?

Me: He wants you to call him. What did I just get done saying he wanted?

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I have said unironically that I'm happy I became deaf for that reason.

When I could still hear, that kind of thing would drive me insane. A major memory of my childhood is pressing pillows to my ears as I tried to fall asleep because my dad was listening to music and refused to turn it down. I would sometimes take my food into my room to eat because I couldn't stand to hear my parents' chewing at mealtimes.

When I was hard-of-hearing and had good hearing aids, that was almost perfect -- I could use it to hear when I wanted to, and turn it OFF when I didn't. ;-)

Now, given the choice, of course I'd like to be able to hear -- but this really was a major feature of my life before I became deaf.

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My sister is married to a tornado person (what an excellent name). Basically, he explodes into the house (that took her all day to clean) strewing his briefcase, coat and other effects from the front door to the living room, bellowing something about being late for some thing he never told her about, loudly wondering where he put his phone, does an about face and trips over his briefcase and then yells something about how the house is a mess. She has a sense of humore about it but I would have divorced him years ago.

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Silence is a bit harsh.

i'm more of a fan of Quiet -- especially at work.
i can't stand people who feel the need to raise their voice.

on more than one occasion i've commented to a loud co-worker that "i'm standing right next to you."

the guy in the next cube is usually extremely loud on the phone -- but once in a blue moon he drops the volume drastically to whisper something important.

i listen to internet radio all day, so that helps to drown out most of the noise...

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Oh man!

Thanks, I thought I was gonna get a lot of....jeez, what's your problem.

I feel good knowing I'm not alone.

More, more please....

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One of the reasons that I like A2K is that I can turn it off whenever I please. I find that being in a group, with a lot of people, can be enervating at times. Sometimes it is just too much work to be
charming!

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Oh, you're playing my song, sistah. Er, um, you know what I mean.

Currently I work where I actually have an office with a door and it's nice. The woman who sits across the little hall from me, and the guy in the next office, rarely speak, so it's usually quiet (if any of us sneeze, one of the others calls out "Bless you!"). In fact, when someone knocks on her door, I usually say something like "Yes?" because I think it's a knock on my own door.

This is far better than some of my colleagues, who just barge right in. I do my best to either physically knock or just say, "Knock knock" when I want to come into someone else's office. It's just, it's their space, not mine. I feel I have no right to just invade it without permission.

I like quiet, and I think that's a big part of why and how I get up so early in the mornings (I leave for work at 5:50 AM every weekday). It's just ... nice. This does not mean that I don't listen to music in the car -- I do! -- but I also try to be aware of the world around me. When I have a passenger, the sound level goes down if not off.

When we need to talk, RP and I either turn the TV or radio off or hit mute on the TV. It's just too distracting. Or we go in a room with neither. There's no TV in the bedroom. There will never be a TV in the bedroom. And the only reason there are radios in there is because they're clock radios. And, with few exceptions, we don't listen to them unless we're just getting up in the morning.

There are so many people out in the world who have few or no inner resources, and it's more than a little bit disturbing. Where people would have normally read a book or magazine, napped or daydreamed, or perhaps talked with their neighbor (e. g. the doctor's waiting room, the bus, etc.), those people are now on their cel phones. All flippin' day long. And it's for the most inane of reasons. Or it's overly intimate stuff that I just don't want to know anything about. Basically, they're just bored people who can't sit still. People who have no desire to refresh themselves with a nap, enjoy the view or improve their minds with a book or even catch up on celebrity gossip with a magazine. Heck, I'd rather see that, even though I also find that to be vapid.

The all-important conversations:

The grocery store: There are green beans here. Do you want me to buy green beans?
Doctor's office: Oh, my prescription for Viagra ran out. I'm here for a refill.
The bus: Mrs. Johnson, I have your divorce papers here, come over by the office tomorrow and sign them. Yes, we're going after your husband for spousal abuse.
Motor vehicle bureau: The place is SO boring!

etc. etc. etc.

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Movie talkers really get to me. It's not like they're in their living room.

Had a movie talker/food smuggler the last time we went to the movies (it's been a while....). Cheeseburger-paper crinklers talking and giggling....

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Chai (aka 99) I'm with you 100%. I don't like anything too loud. Everything's got to be just right.

And there's nothing wrong with silence either.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't put on music in the car, because I don't want anything distracting me from the all important activity of safe driving.

Don't even talk to me about cell phone usage. Mad

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I love weekend mornings.
I'm a lark in a family of owls so the house is mine.
Newspaper, cuppa joe, sunlight slanting through the window.
Bliss.

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I think some people are all output and no input.

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Hi Region - I didn't mean silence literally...and in reality, silence would be an extremely hard thing to find.

There are only 2 times in my life I can remember complete and utter silence. Once was on the top of Enchanted Rock....

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/destinations/images/b/us_tx_ce_fdgtx42_b.jpg

http://soilcrop.tamu.edu/research/pedology/enchanted_rock2.jpg

takes like an hour to climb, it's much bigger than it looks in the photo above.

And out on some big rock in Big Bend National Park.....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/fr/thumb/0/08/Bigbend1.jpg/250px-Bigbend1.jpg

I was refering to the general ebb and flow of normal decibels as opposed to the constant barrage of not only sound, but very loud sound.

Hey, I'm a rock star in my car sometimes...TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Laughing

But I'd no sooner assume to play music in front of others unless they indicated they wanted it than to just start talking about pornography in front of anyone.

Honestly, one is as disturbing as the other to me. At least if someone started describing an x rated video to me, I could tell them I really didn't want to hear about it. But to tell someone they are playing music that's bothering you would get you some strange looks.

Oh yeah jespah, if anyone, even my husband gets in the car with me, off goes the radio, because I know we'll be talking. Sometimes I have to travel with my boss, and obviously, the music NEVER turns off. One time we started discussing some important business thing and I asked her to turn down (not turn off, although that's what I wanted) the CD player so we could talk and hear each other. She really couldn't understand that.

I also agree there are people who are playing some music, and just HAVE to have the volume just a little bit too high. Just that little bit that causes your shoulders to tense, and when it stops, all of a sudden you feel your whole body relax.

brother, that thing about music being relaxing, that one I'LL never get. Does anyone else get that thing that when the noise stops, you didn't even know you were tensed up, but suddenly, it's like "ahhhhhhh".

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If Bear wasn't named "Bear," he'd be "Tornado Person."

Gawd, how I love silence. One of the nice things about my on-the-road work adventure was no music blaring, no excessive talking, no yelling through the house, or people barging into the room while I'm reading, etc.

Sometimes Bear has thirty to 45 minute conversations where I listen, do an occasional "hmm, mmm" or "right," but otherwise just listen. I'm not much of a talker. I listen and observe.

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In commercial construction, noise is an all day thing...there is no escape, you get used to it, but it is a definite stress problem. I've seen the biggest burly macho guys that you can imagine, slump like a wilted flower after an hour of nonstop jackhammering finally stops.

When the clock hits noon, it's total silence for at least half an hour, usually 45 min....I don't have a set schedule like most of the guys do, so I eat when I want, or when I get to a good stopping point. I tend to work thru lunchtime most days, so I'm alone in the silence, it's great.

It always reminds me of the episode of Twilight Zone with Burgess Meredith...where he is in the bank vault reading during lunch, and when he comes out he is the last man left.

Sometimes I work on Saturday just to be able to work in peaceful silence.

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Bean is sleeping and right now, the tv is off, no radio, i even put my cat in our bedroom so she wouldnt sit and 'meow'.. windows open

the only sound is the keyboard, andthe wind coming through the windows.

Bliss...as george said.

Noise is a type of pollution.

Can you imagine, if there was another life form out there tuning in to our planet.. what they would think?

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I like silence.

I often do not listen to music, nor anything else, and read and work in silence.

Actually, I find people who must constantly have music or a radio or TV on very irritating, and sometimes I think people have some noise going all the time specifically to drown out unwelcome feelings or thoughts.

Or, life and trauma have just left me with a too highly switched on nervous system, and I seek silence to try to keep it at bearable levels.

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