Anyone know any funny/stupid songs??

Dana Carvey has a song called "Choppin' Broccoli" that's pretty funny.

Sam Kinison had a "love" song that is pretty hilarious. I don't know what the name of it is though.

That's it from me right now. Enjoy.

Oh, check out Tenacious D also.

Thanks

System of a down


thier long , big penis song..

oy vey, cant remember the name

Anything by the Dead Milkmen.

But here's a fave of mine, by Weird Al:

Good Old Days

Oh some times I think back to when I was younger
Life was so much simpler then
Dad would be up at dawn
He'd be watering the lawn
Or maybe going fishing again

Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen
Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie
And I'd spend all day long in the basement
Torturing rats with a hack-saw
And pulling the wings off of flies

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

I can still remember good old Mr. Fender
Who ran the corner grocery store
Oh, he'd strolled down the aisle with a big friendly smile
And he'd say "Howdy" when you walked in the door

Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice
I don't know why I set fire to his place
Oh I'll never forget the day I bashed in his head
Well you should've seen the look on his face

Let me tell ya now

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

Do you remember sweet Michelle
She was my high school romance
She was fun to talk to and nice to smell
So I took her to the homecoming dance

Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair
And I left her in the desert all alone
Well sometimes in my dreams
I can still hear the screams
Oh I wonder if she ever made it home

I tell ya

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

Let me tell ya buddy

Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

Dr. Demento
has been doing a syndicated radio show for over 30 years of just the songs you're looking for.

"The Evil Scotsman" ~ Billy Connelly

Sung to the tune of an Alanis Morrisette song! Quite rude though.

www.hamsterdance.com the first song and....

Go to 'hamster classics' then to 'sing a simple song'

Artist: King Missile
Song: Detatchable Penis

Lyrics :

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

Niefrom the Young Ones)l-Hole in my shoe

The Chicken Song from Spitting Image (that sarcastic TV show with the talking dolls):

Its the time of year
Now that Spring is in the air
When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair
Make another song for moronic holidays
That nauseate-ate-ate
In a million different ways
From the shores of Spain
To the coast of Southern France
No matter where you hide
You just can't escape this dance

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green
Then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet
And pretend your name is Keith

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an eskimo
Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears
Casserole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears

The disco is vibrating
The sound is loud and grating
Its truly nauseating
Let's do the dance again

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Yes you'll hear this song in the holiday discos
And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an eskimo
Now you've heard it once
Your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song
You'll be humming it for weeks

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
La la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la laaaaaaa

Oh yeah The Young Ones did a song with Cliff Richard too ... I mean, they redid his Living Doll, with him.

I got the 12", love it. Halfway through you get Neil on, saying: "so this is the 12 inch version ... which is exactly the same as the 7 inch version, except its got five inches of nothing in the middle ..."

The Firm - Star Trekkin'

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report!

Uhura:

There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, [again|Jim].

Analysis!, Mister Spock!

Spock:

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:

There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, again.

Chorus:

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, still can't find reverse.

Medical "garbled", Doctor McCoy

McCoy:

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:

There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim!

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk

Kirk:

Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.

McCoy:

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Spock:

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:

There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
scrape 'em off, Jim.

Chorus:

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engine[er| room], Mister Scott

Scotty:

Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics,
laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, [yet|Jim]

Kirk:

Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill,
shoot to kill!
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
Scotty, beam me up!

McCoy:

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim!
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim!
Dead, Jim, Dead!

Spock:

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it,
not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Uhura:

There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, aaagain!

Scotty:
Ye canna change the script, Jim! "garbled"
McCoy:
It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
Kirk:
Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine!
Scotty:
Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow[, Captain]!
Scotty:
Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?!

<< boom >>

Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse!

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Only going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

--------------------------------------

Song and video here

The Toy Dolls - Nelly the Elephant

(You gotta hear this, too)

To Bombay
A travelling circus came
They brought an intelegent elephant
and Nellie was her name

One dark night
she slipt her iron chain, and of she ran
to Hindustan and was never seen again

oooooooooooooooooo...
Nellie the elephant pack her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
of she road with a trumety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled of to the jungle
of she road with a thrumety trump
trump trump trump

Night by night she danced to the circus band
When Nellie was leading the big parade she looked
so proud and grand

No more tricks for Nellie to performe
They taught her how to take a bow and she tooked
to crowd by storm

oooooooooooooooooo...
Nellie the elephant pack her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
of she road with a trumety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled of to the jungle
of she road with a thrumety trump
trump trump trump

The head of the heard was calling far far away
they meet one night in silver light
on the road to Mandaley

oooooooooooooooooo...
Nellie the elephant pack her trunk and
said goodbye to the circus
of she road with a trumety trump
trump trump trump

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trumbled of to the jungle
of she road with a thrumety trump
trump trump trump

Also ...

Artist: The Exploited
Song: Sex And Violence

Sex - and violence!
[repeat over and over]

England's Glory, by Max Wall (written by Ian Dury)

There are jewels in the crown of England's glory
And every jewel shines a thousand ways

Frankie Howerd, Noël Coward and garden gnomes
Frankie Vaughan, Kenneth Horne, Sherlock Holmes
Monty, Biggles and Old King Cole
In the pink or on the dole
Oliver Twist and Long John Silver
Captain Cook and Nelly Dean
Enid Blyton, Gilbert Harding
Malcolm Sargeant, Graham Greene

All the jewels in the crown of England's glory
Too numerous to mention, but a few
And every one could tell a different story
And show old England's glory something new

Nice bit of kipper and Jack the Ripper and Upton Park
Gracie, Cilla, Maxy Miller, Petula Clark
Winkles, Woodbines, Walnut Whips
Vera Lynn and Stafford Cripps
Lady Chatterley, Muffin the Mule
Winston Churchill, Robin Hood
Beatrix Potter, Baden-Powell
Beecham's powders, Yorkshire pud

Billy Bunter, Jane Austen
Reg Hampton, George Formby
Billy Fury, Little Titch
Uncle Mac, Mr. Pastry and all

All the jewels in the crown of England's glory
Too numerous to mention, but a few
And every one could tell a different story
And show old England's glory something new

Somerset Maugham, top of the form and the Boys' Brigade
Mortimer Wheeler, Christine Keeler and the Board of Trade
Henry Cooper, wakey wakey, England's labour
Standard Vanguard, spotted dick, England's workers

My favorite is Richard Cheese's Lounge Against The Machine where he sings songs like "Holiday in Cambodia" and "Smack My Bitch Up" like a Vegas lounge singer.

ERNIE (The fastest Milkman in the West)

Sung by Benny Hill.

You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground,
And the clatter of the wheels as they spun 'round and 'round.
As he galloped into market street, his badge upon his chest,
His name was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue,
She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22.
They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,
But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week.
They called him Ernie, (Ernie), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart,"
And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart.
He said, "D'you want it pasturized? 'Cause pasturized is best,"
She says, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest."
That tickled old Ernie, (Ernie), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,
Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.
He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,
And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head.
She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, "If you treat me right,
You'll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night."
He knew once she sampled his layer cake he'd have his wicked way,
And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day.
Poor Ernie, (Ernie), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

One lunch time Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door,
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four.
And as he lept down from his van hot blood through his veins did course,
And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his 'orse.
Whose name was Trigger, (Trigger), and he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west.

Now Ernie rushed out into the street, his gold top in his hand,
He said, "If you wanna marry Susie you'll fight for her like a man."
"Oh why don't we play cards for her?" Ted sneeringly replied,
"And just to make it interesting we'll have a shilling on the side."
Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.
But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,
And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt he sent spinning from his hand.

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
As Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.
And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.
Poor Ernie, (Ernie), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.

Ernie was only 52, he didn't wanna die,
And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky.
Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned,
And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land.
But a woman's needs are many fold and Sue, she married Ted,
But strange things happened on their wedding night as they lay in their bed.
Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?
Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate?

They won't forget Ernie, (Ernie), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.