Ken and Barbie to get back together?

Love is in the air for Ken's new guise and dolls

APPARENTLY, Ken is still not over Barbie, and what's more, she is about to dump her Australian boyfriend to reunite with the love of her life.

Almost two years after the celebrity couple split after a 43-year romance, Ken is considering a makeover in an effort to win his doll baby back.

Mattel made the announcement yesterday. Russell Arons, vice-president of marketing, would say only that fans might soon see big changes.

"A makeover may be just what Ken needs to step back into the spotlight," he said.

It makes sense as a business strategy, said Chris Byrne, a New York-based independent toy consultant.


The many faces of Ken

"Barbie and Ken are such an integral part of our culture and so aligned with each other, people want to see them together," he said.

In early 2004, Mattel tried to update Barbie's image by having her split with Ken and head to a California beach, where she caught the eye of Blaine, an Australian body boarder. It was just a brief flirtation, though.

"Barbie and Blaine was a great PR stunt, but at the end of the day people want to see Barbie and Ken get back together," Mr Byrne said.
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Mr Byrne noted that global sales of Barbie were down in the third quarter.

A Hollywood makeover would not hurt sales of the princess-like Barbies that four to six-year-olds wanted, and it might help court the eight to 11-year-olds, who had turned to the more fashion-forward Bratz dolls from MGA Entertainment, he said.

This would not be the first time Ken reinvented himself. In the 1970s and '80s he took up inline skating and boogied to disco. In the '90s he focused on his careers as a businessman, baseball player, explorer and rock star.

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Frankly, I think Barbie can do much better. Just look at her! She's a successful professional ... something or other (ice skater, model, astronaut, ballerina, UN ambassador, baby seal clubber, etc.). She has a dream house that is literally a "dream house," an expensive sportscar, a suitably multicultural set of friends -- why does she need a man who won't commit after 43 years?

And what's with Ken anyway? Was he trying to be Neil Diamond in the 70s? Why the Christopher Walken hairdo in the 1990s? And did he wake up one morning in the new milennium and say to himself: "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!" Really, isn't he just a bit too fabulous in that last picture?

Not that her new squeeze, Blaine, is much of an improvement:

Time to ditch the boogie board and get a real job, mate! Barbie isn't just some cheap plastic piece of fine that you can ride like a wave off of Bondi Beach. She's a freakin' PRINCESS! And trim those eyebrows while you're at it -- they're a mess.

Barbie, it's time to move on, girlfriend! Find a man who has a steady income, who isn't quite so flamboyant, who doesn't go from one bad hairstyle to the next, who has working genitalia, and who appreciates you for who you really are -- whatever that might be.