Frank Zappa lyrics

Brown shoes don't make it,
Quit school, why fake it...

[From an old Mothers of Invention lp, something I listened to in college. Makes me want to dig up those old lps and listen again. Thanks, fbaezer!]

Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're OK, he's too weird

suzie creamcheese

TV dinners by the pool,
I'm so glad I finished school...

I stroked and poked 'til my wrist got numb
but I still couldn't get no Dynamo Hum

Hey Dora, want some mora?
Right here on the Floora?
Feels reallll angora.

Actually BP, there were three or more sets of lyrics for that song. Here's one:

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up,
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet

I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more . . .

(Oh, baby . . . )

Oh, sure . . . look,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . .
Gimme your lighter . . .

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
An' Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dinah

Hmmm. His lyrics never thrilled me, but I loved his song, "Peaches en Regalia." Used to think of ways to ride a dressage horse to it, since it has some great changes of rhythm. It came off the album Hot Rats, known for the really awful song, Hot Rats:

I'm a little pimp with my hair gassed back
Pair a khaki pants with my shoe shined black

Got a little lady . . . walk the street
Tellin' all the boys that she cain't be beat

Twenny dollah bill (I can set you straight)
Meet me onna corner boy 'n don't be late

Man in a suit with a bow-tie neck
Wanna buy a grunt with a third party check

Standin' onna porch of the Lido Hotel
Floozies in the lobby love the way I sell:
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT RITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS

For album titles, it's hard to beat this one: "Weasels Ripped My Flesh." The cover, if memory serves, was an illustration of a man using the small mammal in question as a razor. A powerful image!

Didn't Zappa name his son, D'Weasel? I thought the name came from that favorite children's song, "Pop goes d'weasel." Weasels on the brain!

Piffka, I think it's something more like Dweezil, but I could be wrong. Never occurred to me that the name could relate to the critter!

Dweezil and Moon Unit are accomplished performers in their own right.

D'Artagnan, you are right. I've been searching Google (jeez... lots to look at there) and finally found this:

Dweezil is named after one of Gail's toes. It was misshapen, or something like that, and FZ said "it's not a toe, it's a Dweezil".

Dweezil... zircon incrusted tweezers... useful not only with Dinah-Moe:

Montana

I might be moving to Montana soon
just to raise me up a crop of dental floss
raising it up
WAXING it down...
in a little white box that i can sell up town
by myself i wouldn't have no boss
but i'd be r a i s i n g my lonely dental FLOSS
(raising my lonely dental floss)

well i just might grow me some bees
but i'd leave
the sweet
stuff
for somebody else...


but then on the other hand i'd keep THE WAX
and MELT it d
o
w
n
pluck some floss AND swish it around
I'd have me a c ro p
and it would be on TOP

That's why i'm moving to montana
moving to MONTANA soon...
gonna be a dental floss tycoon
MOVING TO montana SOON...
GONNA BE A MENTAL FLOSS FLYCOON


I'm gonna buy me a horse
just about THIS big...
and ride him all along the border line
WITH A PAIR OF HEAVY DUTY ZIRCON-INCRUSTED TWEEZERS
in my hand
Every other wrangler would say i was mighty grand
by myself i would'nt
have NO boss
b u t i ' d b e r a i s i n g m y l o n e l y
DENTAL-FLOSS

{raising MY lonely DENTAL floss)


Well i might ride along
the border with my tweezers
gleaming in the moon
lighty light

And then i'd get
a cup of COFFEE...
and give my foot a push

JUST ME AND THE PIGMY PONY
over by the dental floss bush

AND then I might j u s t jump back on
and ride like a cowboy into the dawn to Montana


[MOVING TO MONTANA SOON / yippee-yi-yo-ty-yay]

IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE!
It can't happen here
It can't happen here
I'm telling you, my dear
That it can't happen here
Because I been checkin' it out, baby
I checked it out a couple a times

But I'm telling you
It can't happen here
Oh darling, it's important that you believe me
(Bop bop bop bop)
That it can't happen here

Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere
in Kansas . . .
(Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . )
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas, la la la)
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas)
Who could imagine that they would freak out in Minnesota . . .
(Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi
Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi . . . )
(Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota,
Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota)
Who could imagine . . .

Who could imagine
That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
(AC/DC do-do-do-dun, AC/DC
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, AC/DC)
But it can't happen here
Oh baby, it can't happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Oh baby, it can't happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can't happen here
Everybody's safe and it can't happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
No freaks for us
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can't happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Everybody's clean and it can't happen here
No, no, it won't happen here
(No, no, it won't happen here)
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
I'm telling you it can't
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It won't happen here
Bop-bop-ditty-bop
(I'm not worried at all, I'm not worried at all)
Ditty-bop-bop-bop
Plastic folks, you know
It won't happen here
You're safe, mama
(No no no)
You're safe, baby
(No no no)
You just cook a tv dinner
(No no no)
And you make it
Bop bop bop
(No no no)
Oh, we're gonna get a tv dinner and cook it up
(No no no no no no no!)
Oh, get a tv dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it won't happen here
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs!
(No no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everything's cool)

I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool

And they thought it couldn't happen here
(duh duh duh)
They knew it couldn't happen here
They were so sure it couldn't happen here
But . . .

What's the ugliest part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
I think it's your mind...

The father's a Nazi in Congress today,
the mother's a hooker somewhere in L.A.
The Idiot Bastard Son.

oops sorry, here's the rest of It Can't Happen Here...

Suzy . . .
Yes yes, oh yes--I've always felt that
Yes, I agree man, it really makes it . . . yeah . . .
It's a real THING, man, it really makes it

FZ: Suzy, you just got to town, and we've been . . . we've been very interested in your development
Suzy: Forget it!

Hmmmmmmmmm
(It can't happen here)

Hi ! I'm Jimmy Carl Black and I'm the Indian in the group.

Now believe when when I tell you that my tail is really true....
I want everyone to listen and believe.
It's about a little cow from a long time ago
And all the things, the neighbors didn't know...