Did he like me?

Ok so im probably at that stage now where if id stopped talking about it i could probably move on and stop thinking about him, but at the same time i feel like i still need to know for definite if he liked me or not. These opportunities dont come around often, ive got a lot of health issues which are getting worse, im struggling to find work and to make friends. I dont need advice on where to meet people or anything as thats not gonna happen, im fairly consent with what i do to enjoy myself

I got my first job last year which i started in august.at the age of 34. A bit of background when it comes to boys

When i was 11 i hung around with a boy holding hands going on playdates. I dont believe we ever kissed or anything
The next boy was a friend of my cousins i was staying with whilst my parents wwnt on hols, we hung around a lot together and i think he teased me a lot, when i left he gave me a kiss on the cheek but only cos the others told him to lol
There was a couple of guys in college i liked but only fleeting. The one i did really like turned out to be gay.
Then there was another one who i felt kept teasing me and coming up behind me, but it never went anywhere i just stopped seeing him in this place

I tend to find i need to tick boxes because of my health.

After the last one i swore i wouldn't get hooked on anyone again lol but then covid happened and i wanted to change my life i wasn't going ot end up in another lockdown miserable. I started applying for jobs and out of the blew got accepted in one where there was no formal interview. Couldn't believe my luck lol the office was massive and there was so many people working there it felt surreal to be around people again and away from my parents, everyone apart from one girl were super friendly, i wasn't intending to meet anyone in the actual job, i thought i would make friends, go on the nights out with them and maybe meet someone that way, maybe theyd get me out with blokes they knew was single or something.

Anyway after 3 weeks when i thought id been trained i moved seats because my trainer didn't know the right settings. So I sat down next to this guy and i could tell instantly he was good looking and seemed a nice guy, we had really intense chats and he was really nice and didn't judge me,he gave me advice about my health. he invited me out to the night out i found out he was planning, at the end of the night i said see you tomorrow and smiled

I didn't see him again for a few days and when i went round to name check i realized why... He didn't even usually sit where he was the first day. He wrote the word legend on his name... Which stupidity i still have.. Probably ready to throw it out soon. I was off the following Monday cos i was sick so when i came in the next day he came up beside me and brushed against my arm, at the time whilst i found him attractive, i didnt have feelings or anything more than that and so im like i aint feeling well and because we had spoke about covid the first night he moves to the side and jokes you aint got that bug have you and were literally smiling at each other for ages, i dont even remember what broke that

from then we would always be chatting and he would talk to me before I spoke to him and was really helpful and sorta caring and interested in what i was doing ,i was too shy to ask him qs about him

I had walk to the theatre to meet my mum one night and i knew he drove and so i went over to him and i asked him if i could walk to his car and then id be fine the rest of the way but he were like no ill walk you to the theatre and seemed proper up for it😂at the time i just wanted to get to know him but from that i started liking him properly to the point i was daydreaming about him😂 and started searching him online like i do with every bloke😂

I tried to start subtly flirting with him, so i needed help with a box and the guy i asked was stood beside him so when i called him the guy i like asked him what i wanted and the other guy told him, he laughed at it so i called over (i wasn't too far away) and said unless you want to do it for me he didn't turn round but he didn't move at all
I don’t know why or when it started but he started trying to wind me up to distract me. I think it was about a week before the walk, he’d come up behind me and would have touched something. When i confronted him he said he didn’t care and would keep on doing it.
Another night he keeps giving me letters to do, coming over to my desk. One time i said i was too busy he were like and don’t have to do it if you dont want to. At this point i told the girl who started the same day about it cos i was starting to get confused lol turns out she blabbed to the other girls

its hard to remember a timeline. Id seen him come in from outside and it started to make me think /wonder if he smoked and it made me annoyed at myself that i didn't check if he smoked or not, i tend to think i couldnt aak a stranger if they smoked its none of my business but as we were intending to go on the walk i guess in my head i needed to know or not beforehand but i shouldve just asked him when i seen him, instead i let my emotions get the better off me and went over and yelled at him smoking isnt healthy oh my lord i still dont know the real reason why i did it and ive no excuses. I shouldve apologised straight away, he was defending himself and it got so awkward when he said he didn't smoke i couldnt believe it😂😂

Avoided him the next day till i went over just before we finished and i wanted to try and impress him (was really just an excuse to speak to him) he wasn't impressed 😂😂😂 by the end of it he was encouraging me to go for his job and what felt like we had a moment he just sat there and didn't move

The next day i was looking around and i clock him literally staring at my eyes and walking slowly,( baring in mind this is a person who walks fast nearly all the time) and then looking at my lips, i tried flirting at that point, he walked all the way past my desk and was still walking slowly even after that. Afterwards i was holding an evenlope to sllll show the other guy for help and he walks past and gives him a letter to do
im like no work for me to do... And he does this thing where his hands with the letter right infront of my chest like wtf??
I was desperate to find out if he had a gf😂😂so i asked the other guy but at this point i don’t know if i was too loud, should have been more subtle. Id not got the chance to ask about the walk at this point so id said to the girls and they were going to go and ask but i don’t want to be the chaser here

I went away one night and when i got back, i was told i had to retrain🙄they hadn't taught me everything about the job as i thought i was just floating and doing whatever. So the guy i asked to find out if he had a gf found out he was single and that hed said about winding me up cos i asked why was he doing it and he was going to carry on. I had to find out about the walk but i wasn't feeling well and i was still embarrassed about the yelling lol the system was down so i asked his boss to find out and it seemed like they were talking for ages. Anyway his boss said he was too busy and i could walk to his car but that i had the chance of a lift in one of the girls car i got on with

I went over the next night to find the girl and he turns his head... Not a word completely zones out. At this point i feel he shouldve said i didn't wanna go the other girls offered to take you instead. Wouldve been cased closed the zoning out happened everyime i was near him, he would turn the other way when he walked past and if i was near him and my trainer would completely avoid the fact i was there. Like i didn't exist, one time i went to ask someone something he was chatting to and his body was facing towards me rather than her, i thought that was odd. When he walked past me. And my trainer and gave him a letter, he said hi to him and ignored me. My trainer asked him why he didn't say hello and his excuse was he was too busy.... Another time he was nearby and i sort of blinked him and i felt it had bothered him

This carried on for 3 weeks. I would then start to avoid him but at the same time, his boss kept making comments about us. Even assuming hed be taking me on another walk and he knew full well why he was acting strange. I was even sitting on the same row one night and when i turned round for a second i could see him. I kept thinking his eyes were on me at some points. I found out the party was booked for the night i was away and he knew this as i told him i was away so i went over and said i was away, he said what, didn't look at me and turned back round.

So on my last week i had caught a cold, and i find out he was leaving for a career break, but being new i assumed hed be leaving properly. He sends an email with details and says at the end its mental health bonding which made things seem more obvious he was sensitive

I went to speak to him in break when he was with one of my team members and they were talking, i wasn't really paying attention but i knew it was the only way i could talk to him, otherwise he would just avoid me. I brought it up about him leaving and he said you didn't know.. And asked if i was going to the party. I then find out hes neighbours with the person hes chatting to and i could kick myself i couldve just asked her about him instead of telling the other girl🙄🙄 he mentioned something about people smoking infront of me which felt like a dig, it was so random to bring up

It did feel like we were back to talking again and he wasn't behaving the way he was before although didn't initate anything, my trainer called him over and he stopped right beside me

Due to the distractions i wasnt concentrating on my work but i wasn't aware if i couldnt do the work by then id have gotten the sack🙄on Monday i called the agency and thats when i found out. Of course me being in an emotional state wanted to reach out and so i added him (i shoudlve msgd him really) and only an hr later i found out hed blocked me. Wtf, couldve just declined the request, surely he knows you can have multiple accounts 😂

I dived in a lot more researching and found a lot about him but nothing did i find that put me off him. He had a massive family and had even been doing his fam tree which he didn't mention when i said id done mine

I found out he had been married two years previously, i think i saw something about this whilst at work but was too scared to click lol but theyd only been married 4 years and were together for 10. They shared a dog and she still has it as her header but her profile pic is with another man. He likes things about girls and being decieved, but one thing i noticed is he never leaves comments on girls pics just likes them. He seems very popular and still friends with exs from uni but nothing with his ex wife no pictures of them together apart from one on his cousins page

I was toying with the idea to send a msg on Instagram, he was private. I finally decided to do it on nye cos i couldnt sleep till 6am and i thought it might help, i ended up doing a spelling mistake 😂i apologised for annoying him and just a generally nice msg although forgot to thank him for his help. I didnt have a picture on the account at the time but left my name on it

3 weeks later and no response, not a block or anything. I thought it was odd so tried sending a hi msg on another account... That was blocked straight away and i made a mistake cos it means all my accounts were blocked lol his boss wont respond to me either

So i decided that was that and id done all i can so tried to move on. However i was going to the arena round the corner for a matinee cos id thought id be working. I figured he started at two although he never actually said but when i was driving past at half 1 someone walks past my car and he turns his head to look at me... Stares for ages and i turned round. He walks away but my car was about to move, didnt seem shocked or didn't smile, i had gone past 5 times and nothing else happened apart from that one time

I kept seeing loads of signs which was annoying. I found out theyd be on strike for 5 weeks so i thought this might give me a chance to see him, i didnt wanna stalk him as i knew thatd freak him out so i needed a good enough reason to go down so i was planning on going down anyway at the end of April and it just so happens when theyre all off. All the picket lines were in the morning so that was out of the question, i didnt think id actually see him. Coming out of the toilets in the station and i turned a corner, there was a q walking and as i walked past this guy turns his head at me and so i looked back and i thought no it cant be surely, he drives. When i looked at the picket line pics of course it was him he had a beard, the same jacket no bag etc jeez 🙄he only moved when the q starred to move

Lately he liked something that looks exactly like how my yelling happened and that it breaks hearts

I think i covered everything and i checked for spelling mistakes so apologies if there is any