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Change a hymn or carole by altering one or more words.

 
 
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 12:22 pm
Change a hymn or carole by altering one or more words. Please use funny, but not insulting or crude humor. We blaspheme but we don't insult.

For example, the most famous one:

"It Came Upon the Midnight Clear"
We came upon some everclear

All Creatures Great and Small (smelly)
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 01:53 pm
How I heard 'Silent Night', "Long John Silver, mother and child."
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 02:31 pm
Oh come let us ignore him.
Christ I'm bored.
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 03:03 pm
@izzythepush,
We three kings disoriented are
We three kings of orient are
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 03:06 pm
@coluber2001,
A stray in a manger
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 03:07 pm
@coluber2001,
One in a taxi
One in a car
One in a scooter
Beeping his hooter
Smoking a wet cigar.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 03:10 pm
When I was at school we had an ineffectual Physica teacher called Mr Plumbridge.

And at the school Christmas carol concert the Twelve Days of Christmas included the line a Plumbridge in a pear tree.

Nobody noticed, but my dad recorded it, and it's Plumbridge alright.
coluber2001
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 03:33 pm
@izzythepush,
LOL

Plumbridge? Right out of Dickens.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 04:50 pm
@coluber2001,
He was a strange character, very smart and knowledganle anout Physics, but aldo a debout Mormon.

He also taught RE.

There was a rumour going around that he'd built a pedal powered flying machine.

Another rumour which was probably just gossip, was that he was in an apocalyptic cult and that when the end of the world came he would fly to safety in his machine.

He was a terrible teacher with zero control over the kids.
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  3  
Reply Sun 7 Aug, 2022 05:43 pm
Every Christmas cartoonist Walt Kelly would have Pogo and the other creatures of the Okefenokee Swamp sing Deck the Halls but with altered words. It was a vast improvement over the original.

https://www.newsfromme.com/wp-content/uploads/2004/12/pogobostoncharlie.jpg
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2022 01:31 am
While shepherds watched their flocks at night,
All seated on the ground,
The angel of the lord came down,
And ordered drinks all round.

Which would have been the actions of a kind god, inviting the common people to wet the baby's head. Instead he forced them to march x amount of miles and give up a lamb they needed to feed their own children to a kid who hadn't been weaned yet.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2022 01:36 am
Not changing words but.

The Little Drummer Boy has tobe the biggest pile of poo going.

He has no gift for the baby so he plays his drum instead.

That's what new borns really want, drumming.

Whenever one of my kids woke up crying in the night all they needed was some Cozy Powell.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2022 02:28 am
Away in a manger is another 9ne.

The cattle are lowing, what is that supposed to mean?

All cows go moo, but not these ones, the only cows in the world who d9n't go moo and that's where Jesus decides to be born.

Something is well dodgy.

And Jesus failed, we don't call them lowcows we call them moocows.

Not a good start.

Viz magazine did a comparison, what's your favourite a manger?

Is it away in a or pret?
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2022 08:28 am
No El
No El
No El
No El
We took the bus 'cause there was no El

(kinda only works if you're from Philly or Chicago)
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2022 10:45 am
Mine eyes have seen the gory
Of the armies in the field
Commanded by commanders not to flee or to yield
They have loosed the fateful lightning of the atom on the Earth
Though the destruction that's caused robs it of every worth
Gory gory have a loogie
Gory gory have loogie
Gorry gory have a loogie
This truth is extinction

0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 9 Aug, 2022 04:07 am
Carole is a woman's name.

The songs are carols.
0 Replies
 
The Anointed
 
  0  
Reply Mon 14 Nov, 2022 11:19 pm
@jespah,
Quote:
No El No El No El No El We took the bus 'cause there was no El

The town of Bowen in North Queensland Australia used to be called Blowen, until a costal cyclone blew the "L" out of it.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Nov, 2022 01:53 pm
"Long John Silver, mother and child." That's the way I heard it until I got into choir in fourth grade.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Nov, 2022 01:57 pm
@coluber2001,
As a kid in Cleveland, my dad sang, "Deck the halls with bills from Halles!"

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/cb/4f/6a/cb4f6ad973dd2d56777eabcb2a9e3cbb--halles-a-christmas-story.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/70/db/99/70db99ef1f1d04523b0aeeae554bc76e.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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