What's good for the goose . . . . .

Forums:
Email this Topic • Print this Page

As you guys know my truck has been in the shop for the past month needing some major work done. I finally got it out this past week. It was drivable but I didn't want to just keep driving it possibly causing more wear and tear on whatever needed to be fixed. Since it has been down or in the shop we've been primarily been using my wife's car for weekend runarounds or if I needed to run to the store to get something for dinner I'd use her car. My wife was dead set on me helping her out with gas so I'd have to put gas in her car. Ok, when mine came out of the shop her check engine light came on. We dropped it off at a shop about 7 or 8 miles from our house even though there was a closer shop to our home. It's a national chain. Ok, I follow her to the shop yesterday to drop off her car then I bring her back home then I go visit with my parents and family. When I come home she now wants to go get ice cream. Today she needed to run tot he store so she took a break from her job and used my truck to go to the store. She then tells me that her car is ready and I need to take her to go pick it up. Here's the thing. When mine was down every time I needed to run somewhere she's mention me putting gas in it. But when I now mention gas she is catching an attitude. She got a call from the shop saying her car is ready so now I have to run her back to the shop to pick up her car. Am I wrong to expect her to put gas in my truck now that hers is in the shop when she needed to use it? When I needed to use her car she expected me to put gas in it, which I did. This may be a petty thing to argue about but when mine was down she made sure I put gas in her car whenever I drove it. And there would be times we'd be out together and she'd still ask me to put gas in it. But now that she is sing mine should I not expect her to put gas in mine either or should I, as a man, just suck it up and do for my wife without asking for or expecting anything in return?

I see it this way. We live in a time where everyone wants to be treated equally and fairly. That's fine until something is expected of them that they expected of someone else. Then the person wants to count how many times they did something compared to how many time the other person did something.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 285 • Replies: 8

[+3] - izzythepush - 07/18/2022I never thought I'd feel grateful for being a widower, and then I read your posts.

I never thought I'd feel grateful for being a widower, and then I read your posts.

0 Replies

Normally, I'd say yes, but Barry - you two are married. Even if you have different bank accounts, all the money is really both of yours. And you're right - it is petty. Maybe take this up with your therapist?

1 Reply

@Mame,

Petty, yes. But when I was riding in her car or even driving her car she insisted that I put gas in hers. And it's not like I was taking her car out to hang out with the fellas or to go bar hopping one night.

2 Replies

@Barry2021,

Well, make her pay for using yours then.

0 Replies

@Barry2021,

I think maybe when she starts talking about you putting gas in her car, you have a discussion about that then and there. Driving to the store and back probably consumes less than a gallon of gas. What's next, monitoring toilet paper usage? Rather than get irritated and looking for opportunities for revenge, ask her what the deal is. There is clearly a deeper problem here.

3 Replies

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

There is clearly a deeper problem here.

I think this is spot on. It is what's behind most, if not all, of the situations he has described.

0 Replies

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

I think maybe when she starts talking about you putting gas in her car, you have a discussion about that then and there. Driving to the store and back probably consumes less than a gallon of gas. What's next, monitoring toilet paper usage? Rather than get irritated and looking for opportunities for revenge, ask her what the deal is. There is clearly a deeper problem here.

Exactly, that's what I said to her. Anytime I used her car it was to run a mile down the road to the closest grocery store to get US something to eat for dinner. Or, if we're out running around doing our normal running around or errands she'll usually turn to me and says I need to put gas in her car because I may have driven it that week. Now granted she's taken her car and gotten her nails done or her hair done but I'm the one who has to put gas in it. No, we don't have a joint account like most couples do. I suggested it to her years ago but she refused. She won't tell me exactly what she makes, what she brings home, or how much she has in the bank. We have a major discussion about bills and things last night and earlier this year we started a program to possibly help us buy a home and at that point she was willing to give total strangers all of her financial information but me she won't even let me know how much money she has in the bank. Then she said she may not have given them everything. So she was going to hold back financials to an organization that was going to help us buy a house. Funny thing is that a month or so after we started the program we get a knock on our door and it was a sheriff delivering her court papers because she had a secret credit card that I didn't know about and she had maxed it out for more than $10k. She refuses to let me know anything financial when it comes to her but if I bring anything up then I'm the one being petty. She's more so concerned about going on a cruise next year than us working out some sort of budget so we can position ourselves to purchase a house. But every other week or so she's complaining about us still living in a rental house.

So yes, I have no problem asking for gas money given she drove my truck. She asked for it when I drove her car.

0 Replies

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

I think maybe when she starts talking about you putting gas in her car, you have a discussion about that then and there. Driving to the store and back probably consumes less than a gallon of gas. What's next, monitoring toilet paper usage? Rather than get irritated and looking for opportunities for revenge, ask her what the deal is. There is clearly a deeper problem here.

Her issue is this. She said in her first marriage her husband was an alcoholic and drug user and she'd come home and he'd sold her car or pawned their furniture. Stuff like that. And she said she never wanted to be in that situation ever again so she tends to hoard things and keep as much a secret to me as possible. She has a dresser in every room of our house with clothes she will never wear again but refuses to get rid of any of them. Tons of shoes stacked up in our corner that she never wears. Again, not wanting to throw anything away. Not to mention the number of shoes and clothes in out bedroom closet that are spilling out to where you can't even close the door. And even to the point to where she'll go shopping for a dress or outfit and refuses to try it on in the store because "I know my size, it'll fit." She gets home and it's 9 times out of 10 too tight but she now refuses to take it back. There are a number of clothes hanging in the closet she can't wear because they are too little and she can't find her receipt.

0 Replies

Forums
» What's good for the goose . . . . .

Read Question
Reply to All

What's good for the goose . . . . .

Quick Links

My Account

able2know