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Fri 5 Aug, 2005 05:53 pm
In Lock For Two Weeks
In Bentwood, N.H. --
The 39-year-old man was intoxicated when police arrived on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
A friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out.
"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," said Cpl. H.D. Wood.
The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.
He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.
Perhaps the friend was a female who was very tired of chastity belt jokes?
Cuttin' torch would have saved a lot of embarassment.
gives new meaning to the term balls of steel....
Quote:The 39-year-old man was intoxicated when police arrived on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
Do you people see the first friggin' sentence!? Does the word intoxicated mean anything to you! Jesus F. Christ. I WAS DRUNK!!!!!
Now.... knock off the jokes.
That's Jesus H. Christ Gus.....
Actually, we discussed this over lunch and it's definitely H.
I can't tell you what the H. stands for though, it's truly embarrassing. I don't know what Mary and Joseph were thinking.
Didn't I tell you to use pumpkins, gustav?
I appreciate your concern about my sexual habits, Jane, and the pumpkin idea turned out to be quite satisfying, but, damn it, sometimes a man needs to experiment.
Here's one I heartily recommend Gus.... put your penis in the hands of a beautiful 19 year old girl and have her insert a glass tube into your urethra.
Then put it on the table and hit it with a mallet.
It's not for everyone but it is exquisite in it's own way.
I actually had that done to me once when I spent time in a Japanese prison.
Exquisite is the perfect word.
My cousin Farley had his testicles pierced for a padlock. Well, everything rolled out of the hole onto the operating table. The doc dropped his glass eye next to them and stuffed the wrong orb back in the socket. The other two were sewn back in and Farley never knew the difference.
What did you just say, Edgar?
the padlock is a convenient place to hook the jumper cables
Hey!I think i was at that party
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