Would you continue to pay for them after you break up?

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Several weeks ago I was in bed listening to my morning radio program before I got up to begin my day. My wife was standing there fixing her hair or something because she starts work a few hours before me. The guys on the radio were talking about a story where people break up or divorce but continue to use each other's Netflix passwords or things like that long after the breakup. My wife looked at me and asked if I would do that to her. I looked at her and jokingly said, "if you and I were to breakup/divorce I'm dropping you off the phone plan so quick." She got highly upset and offended by that. I guess she thought I would say, "no dear, if you and I break up / divorce I would still want you to keep everything you had access to during the marriage." This has been on her mind a few weeks now and just this morning she walks into the room I'm working in and just stands behind me looking. I turn around and she's got this blank stare on her face and when I asked her what was wrong his is what she said. "Do you think we need to go on and get separate accounts?" I'm thinking she's talking about bank account. We already have separate accounts but we also have a joint account for household bills and things. Then she says, "no, I'm talking about the Sprint account." Then it hit me. She's been stewing over this for several weeks now. She said that she didn't want to be blindsided if we break up and her phone no longer worked.

Here's the thing, some things she's paying for like Netflix and Hulu from her account that I have access to. I have the Disney+ and a few other things I take care of which she has access to. She's on my Sprint phone plan that I had long before I met her and we have a joint car insurance policy to get the multi car rate. Let me ask this simple question.

When you break up with someone do you continue to let them have access to certain things like the Netflix, Hulu, or whatever streaming service you might be paying for that they have access to currently? Or would you quickly change those passwords? Would you continue to let your "ex" stay on your phone plan simply because you're getting a special rate? And as far as your car insurance policy, again, do you let them stay on the policy just to get the multi-car rate? I don't see it as being mean or vindictive but it's about we're no longer a couple so you need to get your own things I looked at my wife and said to her, "well, if this is how you feel let's go ahead and start dividing up furniture, appliances, and stuff like that "just in care we break up" we'll already know who is getting what.

When you break up with someone do you cut all ties or do you continue to just let them have access to certain things they already had access to?

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[+3] - izzythepush - 03/29/2022Maybe your next topic of conversation could be how you'd dispose of her body were you to kill her. Let us know how that goes down.

@Barry2021,

I suppose it depends on how amiable the breakup was and if the account is being abused. My adult children still use my Netflix and Disney plus accounts although some have been out of the house a few years. If it isn't being passed around to strangers, I don't see why you would go ballistic on it.

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@engineer,

engineer wrote:

I suppose it depends on how amiable the breakup was and if the account is being abused. My adult children still use my Netflix and Disney plus accounts although some have been out of the house a few years. If it isn't being passed around to strangers, I don't see why you would go ballistic on it.

This isn't about your children or even your siblings. Family is one thing. This is about someone you use to be romantically linked to and either it was a bad break up or the relationship just fizzled out. Even though you may remain friends do you still continue to let them stay on your car insurance policy, your phone plan, or still have login access to whatever streaming service you may have?

Yeah, our kids are out of the house too and anytime I hit Netflix on the TV I can see everyone of their accounts. That's different.

If you had access to an ex's Netflix account would you be upset that they now changed the password so you can't access it anymore OR would you think to yourself, "I guess I need to get my own account now." Why hang on to someone you are no longer linked to romantically? The story on the radio was about how people do this to still hold onto a past relationship. I just look at it is being too lazy or cheap to get your own.

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@Barry2021,

I think it would depend on what it was. I don't have any Netflix or Disney or any of that so that's irrelevant to me. However... if I had a medical/dental plan and my spouse was on it and he was in the middle of some dental work, I certainly wouldn't kick him off until it was completed. And even then... I don't see the harm in keeping him on unless it was illegal (but how would they know we had split up anyway?). I am on my husband's car insurance plan for the very reason you stated, and if we split up (God forbid), I don't think he'd be very active in removing my car from the plan... but I guess we'd talk about these things and probably agree on a 3 month or so grace period (so we could get quotes, etc).

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@Barry2021,

The point is it costs you nothing to share, so if you are on good terms, why not? If they were abusing the account so that you couldn't use it, that would be something different.

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@engineer,

engineer wrote:

The point is it costs you nothing to share, so if you are on good terms, why not? If they were abusing the account so that you couldn't use it, that would be something different.

Agreed with above.

I haven't broken up with anyone in over 25 years so most of this was not even in existence at that time - and then it was boyfriend type of thing so we didn't share stuff like phone plans and insurance and streaming did not exist.

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@Barry2021,

Barry2021 wrote:

I looked at my wife and said to her, "well, if this is how you feel let's go ahead and start dividing up furniture, appliances, and stuff like that "just in care we break up" we'll already know who is getting what.

This is bothersome to me. Why would you say that to her knowing she was stewing about this and you have no intentions of breaking up? Really, Barry... that's quite insensitive. You're a little heartless, hey?

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Barry2021 wrote:

I looked at my wife and said to her, "well, if this is how you feel let's go ahead and start dividing up furniture, appliances, and stuff like that "just in care we break up" we'll already know who is getting what.

This is bothersome to me. Why would you say that to her knowing she was stewing about this and you have no intentions of breaking up? Really, Barry... that's quite insensitive. You're a little heartless, hey?

Plain and simple, because she is stewing over a hypothetical scenario. We're not breaking up nor are we even close to divorce. She's always looking out for herself so this just feeds into what she is talking about. "If and when the case comes that we might break up and divorce let's just go ahead and get separate phone accounts." Why? That's like the other month or so she woke up mad with me over a dream she had.

And many of you have responded by adding to the scenario, medical situations. Please don't add to what's not there. This isn't a situation of "we live together now but we're going to get separate places but still date" or "you're still going to be my best friend after we break up so you can just keep all the login info or I'll keep you on my car insurance or my phone plan." Maybe it's me but if I break up with you and even if we're still friends I'm not continuing to let you have access to something I pay for or because you're getting a special rate. Why would I want to continue to pay so someone I'm no longer involved with can keep watching Bridgerton?

Guys, your girl had the log in to your Netflix or Hulu then you broke up. You let her keep the login info OR you just didn't bother to change the password. You find out she is now dating someone new and "THEY" are watching Netflix on your dime. Do you change your password?

Ladies, say you broke up with your guy and just decided to let him remain on your car insurance policy because of the rates you were getting based on the multi-car deal. You later find out he has been hot-rodding and sideswiped a few cars or better yet has started getting tickets. Your rates are now going to go up. Do you drop him then?

Again, I'm of the mindset that if we're no longer a couple I'm not going to continue to pay for your enjoyment or entertainment. Get your own Netflix account, your own car insurance policy, or your own cell phone account, or what have you. And I'm not talking about she walked out with your favorite hoodie or he walked out with your air fryer. You're continuing to pay for something so they can keep watching, driving, talking, etc.

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@Mame,

Good point and I kind of thought the same thing - why would you even bring that up after listening to it on the radio? It is almost as if you are trying to start a disagreement or something or else thinking along those lines of a break up.

1 Reply

@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Good point and I kind of thought the same thing - why would you even bring that up after listening to it on the radio? It is almost as if you are trying to start a disagreement or something or else thinking along those lines of a break up.

I didn't bring it up, she did. She was listening to the conversation and she asked me. What was I supposed to say, "no sweetie, if you and I break up we'll just continue to pay for each other's enjoyment." That probably would have been the politically correct answer. I just look at it this way, when I break up with you I'm done with you.

For those who say they probably wouldn't change the password or drop them from accounts, say they wanted to come over and have sex, I mean that's what you use to do as a couple. Why should that change now that you're no longer a couple?

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@Barry2021,

No.... if your wife was stewing about it and she feels/felt insecure, why not assure her that you're not breaking up so it's a moot point. Say something along the lines of, "That's nothing to do with our situation, so who cares?" Then get up and give her a hug, pat or kiss.

1 Reply

Barry, Barry, Barry!

There are just some questions you don’t answer- like “Does this dress make me look fat?”

Another one is to never answer the hypothetical “breakup” questions, ie “Will you still...?”

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@Barry2021,

You're mixing up two different things here. A Netflix account doesn't cost you extra money if your ex has access to it, but if you keep him on your car insurance and he has an accident, your rates go up tremendously.

For answer a) yes, who cares about the Netflix account?
b) Id' drop him immediately from the car insurance as the repercussions could
cost me an arm and a leg.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Mame wrote:

No.... if your wife was stewing about it and she feels/felt insecure, why not assure her that you're not breaking up so it's a moot point. Say something along the lines of, "That's nothing to do with our situation, so who cares?" Then get up and give her a hug, pat or kiss.

Mame,

I did tell her that. I even assured her that what they were talking about had nothing to do with us. We are fine. But, she still thinks that "if" we break up I'm going to drop her like a bad habit from everything we currently share. And to that I'll say this. She is right. Get your own accounts if you want to continue using a service. That's not so hard to understand.

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@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

You're mixing up two different things here. A Netflix account doesn't cost you extra money if your ex has access to it, but if you keep him on your car insurance and he has an accident, your rates go up tremendously.

For answer a) yes, who cares about the Netflix account?
b) Id' drop him immediately from the car insurance as the repercussions could
cost me an arm and a leg.

No, a Netflix or Hulu account may not cost anything more simply because someone else has your log in info. But do you really want to be paying for that when you know your ex is sitting there with their new person watching it on your dime? Again, simply because you didn't or won't change the password as to not be that mean.

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@Barry2021,

Maybe your next topic of conversation could be how you'd dispose of her body were you to kill her.

Let us know how that goes down.

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@izzythepush,

lol

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@izzythepush,

Fancy mahogany coffin or plain pine box? Decisions, decisions!

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@Barry2021,

Barry2021 wrote:

No, a Netflix or Hulu account may not cost anything more simply because someone else has your log in info. But do you really want to be paying for that when you know your ex is sitting there with their new person watching it on your dime? Again, simply because you didn't or won't change the password as to not be that mean.

Again, it depends on how the breakup went down. If you left on good terms, maybe "sticking it the Man" by sharing Netflix is more desirable than sticking to the ex.

Would you continue to pay for them after you break up?

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