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Men accepting gifts from other men

 
 
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 11:31 am
Here's something to ponder today.

Guys, do you or would you accept gifts from other men?

Here's the back story. As many of you know my twin brother, 52 years old, recently had to move back in with our parents, him and his 25 year old son, because they got evicted from their place after my mom and two of my siblings let him borrow $5000 last year to get his rent caught back up. He is a deacon at his church and it seems that anytime the pastor needs to go somewhere my brother always drives him. If the pastor has to fly somewhere my brother is always the one to take him to the airport and then is the one to go back and pick him up. He has even gone so far as to bring some of the pastor's clothes to our parent's house so that when he picks him up from the airport he can have a change of clothes so they can go to his next preaching engagement.

Here's the thing. The pastor lives close to the airport, our parent's don't. The pastor is married and his wife does drive along with him. And they also have 3 cars. They also don't have any kids so it's not like she would have to pack up the kids every time he has to go anywhere. Me and several of our siblings can't understand why our brother is always his transportation to and from places. There have been times when he would call our brother a very late hours to pick him up from the airport because he didn't want to have his wife get up out of bed. Why not just drive yourself to the airport so no one would have to wake up to come pick you up? This past Saturday I stopped by our parents house and he wasn't there. Our mom told me that he drove their pastor, my parents are member of the church too, several hours away for a preaching engagement.

Now here's the thing. Given our brother's financial situation, the SUV he's driving has expired plates on it. The tags on his truck expired in Nov of 2020 so he's been driving around on bad tags for nearly 2 years. We're not sure if his truck won't pass inspection in the state due to a mechanical issue or if our brother just doesn't have the funds to pay the property tax so that he can go to the DMV and get it re-registered. But now that he isn't paying a full rent he should have extra money to get that taken care of. Our parents are only making him pay $100 a week and he is working full time. Since the truck made a 4 hours trip it's probably not a mechanical issue. We're leaning more so to him just not paying his property tax.

Yesterday we were at our parent's house for the usual Sunday get together and he brought out this big bag and said that his pastor had bought him a nice really think sweat suit top and bottom and he also gave him a really nice Fossil watch. That's like the 2nd or 3rd Fossil watch he has given him. Do straight men buy each other gifts like that? I'm not insinuating anything but maybe I am. I would never accept clothing or watches from a good male friend under any circumstances. If I help you out from time to time that's one thing. But if you just want me to drive you around and you're buying me clothes and jewelry as a thank you I'd be leary about you. Our brother even mentioned that later this year their his pastor has to travel to the Dominican Republic or somewhere like that to preach and he was going to make sure that my brother's accommodations were covered to travel with him. We're not sure how his apartment search is coming along but we think that if he spent less time running his pastor around and more time focusing on his own problems he might figure some thing out.

Guys, would you accept gifts of clothing and jewelry from your male friends? Ladies, would you find it strange for a guy, your guy, was accept gifts of clothing and jewelry from another man?
 
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 11:39 am
@Barry2021,
I give T shirts as presents to my male friends, normally Christmas /Birthday, but if I see something I know a friend will like that's cheap I'll get it.

A friend of mine likes Gary Numan and I saw one of his singles for 25p at a car boot, so I bought it for her.
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 11:45 am
@Barry2021,
You are way too vested in everybody's life but your own.

Who cares who gets gifts and why?

Are you really so petty and jealous of your twin you have to mock him on a public forum? Don't you have anything else better to do?
Barry2021
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 11:51 am
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

I give T shirts as presents to my male friends, normally Christmas /Birthday, but if I see something I know a friend will like that's cheap I'll get it.

A friend of mine likes Gary Numan and I saw one of his singles for 25p at a car boot, so I bought it for her.


Izzy, I assume you're female? Correct me if I'm wrong. But would you not find it strange that one guy is buying clothes and jewelry for another guy?
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 12:01 pm
@Barry2021,
I am not a woman, I don't know where you got that from.

And no, as I'm a man and I've already said I bought my mate a T shirt, I don't find it strange.

Anyway what business of yours is it?

What has it got to do with you what people give each other. It sounds like you're trying to imply some sort of homosexual relationship, which seems to entail something shameful in your book.

Are you being a gossip?

Barry2021
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 12:07 pm
@neptuneblue,
neptuneblue wrote:

You are way too vested in everybody's life but your own.

Who cares who gets gifts and why?

Are you really so petty and jealous of your twin you have to mock him on a public forum? Don't you have anything else better to do?


Hey Neptune, STFU!!!!! You make it sound like I've mentioned him by name and give out his address or social media info. If you are tired of seeing my posts then simply put, STOP REPLYING. No one is making you read or reply to anything I post. If my brother can do so much for his pastor then when is he going to get up off his lazy but and do something for himself? Instead of running the pastor around how about you run around from one apartment complex to another and put in an application so you can get you and your son off our parent's living room furniture and floor. I myself have a lot of male friends and not once have I ever bought any of them a t-shirt much less a full outfit or several watches because I know that's what they like to wear.
izzythepush
 
  5  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 12:10 pm
@Barry2021,
You moan about giving your wife flowers, you're hardly a good example of manhood.

0 Replies
 
Barry2021
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 12:13 pm
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:

I am not a woman, I don't know where you got that from.

And no, as I'm a man and I've already said I bought my mate a T shirt, I don't find it strange.

Anyway what business of yours is it?

What has it got to do with you what people give each other. It sounds like you're trying to imply some sort of homosexual relationship, which seems to entail something shameful in your book.

Are you being a gossip?




A t-shirt as a birthday or Christmas gift is one thing but would you buy another guy a full outfit or a $200 watch "just because"? I'm not insinuating anything homosexual, I'm just trying to understand the relationship between my brother and his pastor. There are other deacons in their church but he never asks any of them to drive him anywhere or pick him up from anywhere.
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 01:27 pm
@Barry2021,
Why would I give a monkey's?

I don't know any churchy people, and the only deacon I've heard of is Deacon Brodie.
0 Replies
 
Seizan
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 02:34 pm
@Barry2021,
Why don't you and your folks just sit down for a family discussion and just ask him about it? You've presented what he does, but nothing about what he says, feels, thinks, etc... And other than camping out in your family place for $100 a week, I don't understand how his actions affect you or the rest of the family.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 03:49 pm
I honestly see no issue with it. They are both grown adults and this arrangement seems to work for them.

My take from the little I see is that this pastor is appreciative of what your brother does for him and thus feels he should give him gifts to thank him. The trip to me makes sense that pastor who represents the church pays for him. He doing service for the church so they are covering hid expenses ... What is the difference between that and a church raising money for a missionary trip?

If it is something more ...it is between the pastor, your brother and the pastor's wife. But quite honestly I see it as just that being appreciative of what your brother does for him.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Feb, 2022 03:52 pm
And yeah I've seen men give each other gifts in this way...hey you help me move .... You buy your buddy a gift card for dinner or even whatever he feels his friend might need or like. Doesn't mean he has the hots for him...just a way if saying thanks.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  4  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2022 05:50 am
@Barry2021,
Barry2021 wrote:
Hey Neptune, STFU!!!!! You make it sound like I've mentioned him by name and give out his address or social media info. If you are tired of seeing my posts then simply put, STOP REPLYING. No one is making you read or reply to anything I post. If my brother can do so much for his pastor then when is he going to get up off his lazy but and do something for himself? Instead of running the pastor around how about you run around from one apartment complex to another and put in an application so you can get you and your son off our parent's living room furniture and floor. I myself have a lot of male friends and not once have I ever bought any of them a t-shirt much less a full outfit or several watches because I know that's what they like to wear.


Barry, Barry, Barry...

You've got all this wrong, as per usual.

Yes, you are correct, I don't HAVE to reply to your threads, it's just that I WANT to. You are a very intriguing person, like the picture of Dorian Gray. On the outside, all smiles and nurturing and giving. And on the inside, very dark and foreboding and ruthless.

Here's the thing, Barry. The pastor LIKES your brother. Genuinely cares about him and wants to spend time with him. He gives presents to your brother as a show of affection and respect. He doesn't care that your brother lives with your mom and dad. Hell, even your mom and dad don't care enough to kick him out, Yet you rant on about someone else's business as if you had skin in the game. And you don't.

And you're jealous as hell.

You don't understand why someone would give gifts, because you, yourself, are self centered and conceited.

These are not good qualities, Barry. In fact, it leaves you empty and alone. I think that's why you hang out with your family so much, they're the only ones who will tolerate your tone-deaf attitude. You have no other hobbies or friends to enjoy. Instead, you come onto this forum with half-baked ideas on how the world works without actually trying to fix your own issues -- or to help someone else with theirs.

You say you have a degree in Christian counseling but have yet to answer any post that isn't yours. It's almost like you don't care about anybody else but yourself. Most, ok, ALL of your posts are you whining about some perceived slight against you and the moment you don't get the affirmation you're looking for, you'll quit that thread and start anew a few days later.

So, here's a challenge for you Barry. Put your education, training and knowledge to the test. Answer at least two (2) posts that aren't yours. Start small.

Maybe it will help you to learn compassion and empathy you refuse to show here.






0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2022 07:35 am
I'd like to know why it would be so horrible and wrong for this guy to get presents. Are his transgressions for not being as independent as the OP wants -- do they make him unworthy of friendship and kindness?
0 Replies
 
Albuquerque
 
  3  
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2022 01:02 pm
@Barry2021,
I had have and will accept presents of other men of course and why on earth do you think it is odd?
I've read some of your replies and you as a human being are detestable, pity, foggy, get help!
0 Replies
 
 

 
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