My boyfriend wants to use a condom but I don't. Help!!!!!!!!

I suspect you're being unreasonable.

You say you're his first sexual partner. I take it he's not your first.

The guy is just trying to protect his health (even if you're 100% faithful, you can still pass urinary tract infections back and forth - I learned that in college).

… and the pill (and condoms) aren't 100% effective. Using both together lowers the risk of pregnancy from 18% for condoms alone or 9% for the pill alone, to 1.6%. See: https://www.pandiahealth.com/birth-control-math/

According to Planned Parenthood, that figure for the pill is accounting for people who don't take the pill perfectly correctly. Even if you're vigilant, if you're sick, tired, stranded with a flat tire or whatever, you may still end up taking a dose later than normal, and that can reduce effectiveness. See: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/ask-experts/is-it-possible-to-get-pregnant-if-youre-on-the-pill-and-you-use-condoms-also-how-do-you-get-the-pill-and-how-much-does-it-cost

And BTW, you have a fellow who doesn't want to get you pregnant. Considering the issue with stealthing that some people have, to read that someone wants to be extra-vigilant is kinda refreshing.

You do not want to get pregnant unless you actually want to have a child. The Texas law may only be the beginning.

Protect yourself.

You aren't being unreasonable at all.

Most couples in long term relationships have unprotected sex. When you are in a long term monogamous relationship most people realize that condoms are annoying and that they aren't worth it.

Sex is much better without a condom. That is why only 14% of steady relationships use condoms regularly. Yes, there is a risk of STD, but if you are in a monogamous relationship, most of us accept that risk. I do recommend you are open with your partner about risks, and it is a good idea to get tested for STDs if you have a sexual history.

I think Jespah is greatly overestimating the risk of pregnancy. If you use the pill according to the directions, it is 99% effective. Just wait a month every time you miss a pill (it isn't that difficult).

I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. Both of us a faithful. We use birth control. We never use a condom. Most people, if they are being honest, do the same.

To me it's more a matter of respect between people. If he's uncomfortable I'd suggest abiding by his request. If you had written that your boyfriend wants to refuse to wear a condom and you didn't, the advice from most would be the same.

Quick show of hands;

Is there anyone here who has been in a monogamous sexual relationship for more then a year and still uses a condom?

I will wait for any reply.... is there anyone? I am going to wager that every single person on this thread has had sex without a condom. I think this is one of those topics where everyone says one thing and does another.

1) There are risks of unprotected sex (i.e. birth control but without a condom).
2) In a long term monogamous relationship, these risks are pretty low.
3) Almost everyone accepts these risks and has unprotected sex.

What is the problem with just being honest?

Under a new CA law if you are male and a condom come off and or break during sex your partner can now claim you removed it on purpose and sue you under civil law.

With or without protections of any kind only have sex with a partner you can completely trust be you either male or female.

You are rejecting the notion the OP has already discussed this with her partner and he feels more comfortable using a condom. Why does her desire to not use one outrank his need for protection?

Maybe he doesn't trust her judgement, none of us know what the real story is between these two people.

1. Actually the OP says that he refuses to discuss it. I see that as a problem.

2. If your partner is unwilling or unable to meet your needs, what do you do?

I believe in this case you talk about it openly, you both listen and make aure you are heard. If your needs aren't being met, then it is time to end the relationship. It is as simple as that; in a relationship both people's needs should be met.

I would never be in a long term relationship that involved condoms. I wouldn't enjoy it. Fortunately many people feel the same way.

On her other thread she says they're both in their thirties.

If he has waited that long he must be incredibly cautious about sex, condom use could be a really big deal for him.

If he is only concerned about pregnancy, maybe switch to lambskin condoms.

Because if there's no valid point to pontificate from, Max will create an imagined one.

This is stalking, bobsal. Following someone around from thread to thread to insult them without contributing anything to the topic at hand is not OK.

Please stop.

Then how do you explain turning up on my threads???

The issue is that you are not saying anything on the tipic of the thread

If you had something to say about condoms, or sexual rationships or anything even remotely related to the topic ... do you even know what the topic of this thread is?

I don't mind your childish insults, and sure, I give as well as I get

All I am asking is that if you enter a thread, you should have something to contribute on the topic

So Bobsal, since you are here on this thread about condom use; do you consistently use a condom when you have sex?

So could you. But you can't resists making ad hominem. Funny how you support a cop's personal right to subject me to Covid, but I can't comment on on an open forum. Why do you insist on trolling me?

I pretty much ignore you, maybe you could extend to me the same courtesy?

What you are doing, showing up on random threads to talk about me, is the opposite of ignoring me.