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Thu 4 Nov, 2021 01:48 pm
As you all know my wife and I recently went to a formal gala our church was having for its church and pastoral anniversary. I was one of 5 people selected to be on the planning committee. We have been working for the past 6 months or so getting everything together. The gala went off without a hitch and was a great success. This past Sunday after church I get a call from my pastor and he just wanted to verify our home address. I was in our living room and when I looked outside he was sitting in his car with his wife, our first lady, and he said that he was putting something in our mailbox. They then drove off. I go outside a few minutes later and in an envelope he had put a check in there to me for $500 as an honorarium for working on the anniversary. I called him and thanked him from the bottom of my heart. He didn't have to do it because I did it out of my admiration to him and our church. Last night the chairman of our committee send out a group text to say that he wants to meet with all of us, the committee, and one of the other member's house. Here's the thing. This is a meeting for just the committee. My wife wasn't on the committee nor did she do anything to help out. One of the other girls on another committee asked her to serve as a hostess and check people in as they come to the gala. Her response was "no, don't they know I'm going to be in a ball gown?" Duh, all the women will be in ball gowns, but she still said no. I'm the only one on the committee who is married but would I be wrong not to bring her?
@Barry2021,
No, bring a twenty dollar hooker instead, see how that goes down.
@Barry2021,
Did she attend any of the other meetings over the last six months?
@Barry2021,
I don't see what the dilemma or big deal is. It's a meetup of committee members so she's not invited.
@engineer,
engineer wrote:
Did she attend any of the other meetings over the last six months?
Not a one. She was in the living room while we were having our zoom meetings, she was not on camera, and things but she did not contribute and again and nor did she help out the night of the gala.
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
I don't see what the dilemma or big deal is. It's a meetup of committee members so she's not invited.
I just know how some people get. "She's your wife and if they can't invite her to dinner too then you shouldn't go either." We're a couple and some people look at that as a package deal. There have been times when they did things on her job and she went out to dinner with her co-workers and I didn't go, neither did I want to go either. I just know how some people can be.
@Barry2021,
Barry2021 wrote:
Mame wrote:
I don't see what the dilemma or big deal is. It's a meetup of committee members so she's not invited.
I just know how some people get. "She's your wife and if they can't invite her to dinner too then you shouldn't go either." We're a couple and some people look at that as a package deal. There have been times when they did things on her job and she went out to dinner with her co-workers and I didn't go, neither did I want to go either. I just know how some people can be.
Barry, it would be wrong TO BRING YOU WIFE.
She is not a member of the committee...you are. THE COMMITTEE is meeting.
She does not belong there.
@Barry2021,
You are spending a lot of time worrying about what other people think.
What do you think? Do you want your wife to come, or are you just looking for a reason not to take her?
In any event you should be able to get her a nice dress with a monkey.
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:
You are spending a lot of time worrying about what other people think.
What do you think? Do you want your wife to come, or are you just looking for a reason not to take her?
In any event you should be able to get her a nice dress with a monkey.
I'm not worried about it in the least. I was the one hauling sound equipment from our church tot he hotel for the event. I was the helping set up the ballroom most of the night, constantly going to check on it's progress. What did the wife do? Stayed gone the whole day to get her hair, nails, and makeup done. Again, I say, sometimes you get rewarded for just helping out. I didn't do it for the money but these are the benefits of just doing something. Yall know, my wife doesn't like to do anything in church. When I opened the check the first thing out of her mouth was, "nice, you can take me out to eat now." So, again, it's gotta be about her.
@Barry2021,
You wouldn't use the phrase "I just know how some people get," if you weren't bothered about what others think.
And you don't want her there, so don't take her.
I don't understand what the big deal is. Committee members are meeting. Are you having lobster and champagne and strippers? If not, who cares? Does she? My husband and I do things separately (and together) all the time. He goes to listen to the Blues alone- his company took him out for dinner alone- I went to work events alone - yeah, all by our lonesome selves. You're not tied at the hip. If she didn't go to all the other committee meetings, why would she go to this one? Does she even want to?
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
I don't understand what the big deal is. Committee members are meeting. Are you having lobster and champagne and strippers? If not, who cares? Does she? My husband and I do things separately (and together) all the time. He goes to listen to the Blues alone- his company took him out for dinner alone- I went to work events alone - yeah, all by our lonesome selves. You're not tied at the hip. If she didn't go to all the other committee meetings, why would she go to this one? Does she even want to?
My exact thoughts. If you had a meeting at work would you bring your wife? No of course not she doesn't work there. But if there was a social function with your work place where a guest can be invited then yeah your wife would ... Even if you had a little bit of work function you needed to do.
This is no different other than this situation other than it is volunteer work. So for any associated meeting you attend ... She does not as she does not volunteer...however there was a social function so she attended it as your guest...there should be no expectation of her working (although it would have been nice of her to do so)
Again not complicated.
@Barry2021,
Barry2021 wrote:
izzythepush wrote:
You are spending a lot of time worrying about what other people think.
What do you think? Do you want your wife to come, or are you just looking for a reason not to take her?
In any event you should be able to get her a nice dress with a monkey.
I'm not worried about it in the least. I was the one hauling sound equipment from our church tot he hotel for the event. I was the helping set up the ballroom most of the night, constantly going to check on it's progress. What did the wife do? Stayed gone the whole day to get her hair, nails, and makeup done. Again, I say, sometimes you get rewarded for just helping out. I didn't do it for the money but these are the benefits of just doing something. Yall know, my wife doesn't like to do anything in church. When I opened the check the first thing out of her mouth was, "nice, you can take me out to eat now." So, again, it's gotta be about her.
You've got something much more important to deal with than, "Should I take my wife with me to..."
You are actually dealing with, "Should I continue to allow my wife to be my wife."
I'm pretty sure your wife doesn't expect or want to come, the committee members don't expect her to come and no one will be surprised when she doesn't come.
@engineer,
Yeah, sort of like his family get-togethers
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