He sounds to be a control freak that wants things his way and wants us to agree.
I, honestly, would not want to miss out on the grandkids things (not that I have any)- but I understand that people feel differently and have different perspectives. I wouldn't force things on someone else.
My husband, although he attended many things of our children, did not as much as me - I would move my work stuff to make sure I could attend everything I could - but that was me. My husband did not - now granted it was easier for me, but he could have done a bit more. He certainly was there for anything big - senior nights and stuff like that - but not almost every game. But he did do other things - he coached them for certain sports and at certain ages for example.
But I did not force him to move his schedule around - or even make him feel bad about it. My kids had a parent (and when my dad was around) often times both grandmom and grandpa around - so they were happy they had family there. They are not devastated that daddy was not at every little event. They know we both cared --