5
   

FWB (2021 terms)

 
 
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 08:57 am
In regards to my last post about the older woman who wants a mutually beneficial arrangement with a guy and some financial compensation along with it let me ask this. Have we turned a corner in 2021 to where a FWB (Friends with benefits) type of relation has changed. It use to be that the B in the statement meant sexual gratification from and for both parties. Now it seems that the B in FWB means financial compensation. Yes, I'm still chatting with this one woman, no meet ups just yet, and she's telling me more about here and I'm telling her more about me. She's a single mom who works and just doesn't have the time or the ability to just date and go out so she's looking for someone to sexually satisfy her along with some $$$ compensation when needed. She said that as she's getting older, again only 35, she's finding herself to be hornier and wanting to be freakier with a guy but I guess not be tied down in a relationship.

Ladies, have you ever been in or had a FWB type of thing with a guy and you expected him to help out with bills from time to time?

And guys, have you ever been in a situation like this and the woman all of a sudden started asking for $$$?

Yeah, based on my previous post I've been involved with a few who was strictly P2P (pay to play) type of things. I guess I'm getting tired of that given current situations, ready my first post to find out. I'm not looking for another woman who is always going to have their hands out when I walk into her place or her mine. Again, I don't mind helping you out but don't ask me to help you with your car payment, mortgage, rent, lights, cell phone, etc simply because we're hooking up a few times a month. You feel me? When did friends with benefits change to friends with financial benefits?
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 10:22 am
@StarbucksFreak,
StarbucksFreak wrote:

Ladies, have you ever been in or had a FWB type of thing with a guy and you expected him to help out with bills from time to time?


I've had a few relationships that that lasted several months or a year - fun, companionable, intelligent, but not men I was serious about. As I've said before, I've never expected, asked for, or received any money. It's just not something that ever occurred to me. And I wouldn't ask a guy to change my tire, either. I can take care of myself.

That said, I know of three relationships where the guy doesn't work at all and never has. Their wives take care of them. I don't understand that mentality, either. I wouldn't want to be in any kind of relationship where the other person can't take care of themselves.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 10:35 am
@StarbucksFreak,
StarbucksFreak wrote:


In regards to my last post about the older woman who wants a mutually beneficial arrangement with a guy and some financial compensation along with it let me ask this. Have we turned a corner in 2021 to where a FWB (Friends with benefits) type of relation has changed. It use to be that the B in the statement meant sexual gratification from and for both parties. Now it seems that the B in FWB means financial compensation. Yes, I'm still chatting with this one woman, no meet ups just yet, and she's telling me more about here and I'm telling her more about me. She's a single mom who works and just doesn't have the time or the ability to just date and go out so she's looking for someone to sexually satisfy her along with some $$$ compensation when needed. She said that as she's getting older, again only 35, she's finding herself to be hornier and wanting to be freakier with a guy but I guess not be tied down in a relationship.

Ladies, have you ever been in or had a FWB type of thing with a guy and you expected him to help out with bills from time to time?

And guys, have you ever been in a situation like this and the woman all of a sudden started asking for $$$?

Yeah, based on my previous post I've been involved with a few who was strictly P2P (pay to play) type of things. I guess I'm getting tired of that given current situations, ready my first post to find out. I'm not looking for another woman who is always going to have their hands out when I walk into her place or her mine. Again, I don't mind helping you out but don't ask me to help you with your car payment, mortgage, rent, lights, cell phone, etc simply because we're hooking up a few times a month. You feel me? When did friends with benefits change to friends with financial benefits?


Either tell her you will pay her a set amount for each hook-up...or agree to her terms. (Which in the long run will be MUCH more costly.)

Or find a different woman. (Or get your kicks by spanking your own monkey.)

This woman is not interested in FWB or anything else...and she is being as up-front as she can be.

The question should not be "do we feel you"...but rather, do you feel her?
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 11:10 am
@StarbucksFreak,
4thtwin wrote:

I'm seriously thinking about chalking that $20 as a loss and leaving this girl alone.


That's probably a good move on your part. You must not feel very wanted or appreciated by this. She's using you, obviously. Why not try to find someone who just wants a light-hearted relationship?
0 Replies
 
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 11:13 am
@Mame,
I just don't want to get into another situation where there has to be payment every time we meet.

The one girl I'm already dealing with asked me a few weeks ago for $20 to get her son's hair cut for school so I sent it to her via cashapp. She said I could take it off our next visit. Since then I've been trying to meet up with her and she's always busy or has to be at work early so she's going to bed at 8 or 9 that night. Just a few minutes ago she hmu asking what I was doing. I am at work but about to go to lunch and she said she just got off work and needed a ride home. Again, asking for something but not willing to give anything in return. When I asked where she was she said she was in the next city which is only a few minutes from me. I asked for the address and she went silent. When I asked for the address again she said that her mom was on her way to get her. Again I asked if she was available tonight and she said she's gotta be at work early tomorrow too so I asked if we could link up around 6:30. That gives her plenty of time to go home and be in bed by 8 or 9. Still no answer. This is not a "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" think but more so a "you scratch my back every time it itches and I'll see what I can do for you at some point."
0 Replies
 
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 11:17 am
@Frank Apisa,
"This woman is not interested in FWB or anything else...and she is being as up-front as she can be."

So basically, this new girl I'm chatting with is only in it for the money too? I've even asked for a dollar amount but she has yet to give one.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 11:47 am
@StarbucksFreak,
StarbucksFreak wrote:

"This woman is not interested in FWB or anything else...and she is being as up-front as she can be."

So basically, this new girl I'm chatting with is only in it for the money too? I've even asked for a dollar amount but she has yet to give one.


Ask for a "date."

She'll give a number at that time.
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 12:07 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Trying this out. Sent her a text asking when she was available and no response yet but when I do I'll keep you posted.

She's an attractive woman. Not a model type or drop dead gorgeous but attractive. Any guy would eat up the chance to get with her. I guess I'm questioning why is she looking now and what has she had in the past? Single based on what she told me so why can't you just find a guy to come break you off so to speak. Most girls I've encountered would probably hit up an old flame as to "keep their number low".
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 02:21 pm
@StarbucksFreak,
StarbucksFreak wrote:

Trying this out. Sent her a text asking when she was available and no response yet but when I do I'll keep you posted.

She's an attractive woman. Not a model type or drop dead gorgeous but attractive. Any guy would eat up the chance to get with her. I guess I'm questioning why is she looking now and what has she had in the past? Single based on what she told me so why can't you just find a guy to come break you off so to speak. Most girls I've encountered would probably hit up an old flame as to "keep their number low".


Good luck.

If she is honest enough to tell you that she is looking for a sugar daddy to keep her, you are not the guy. Be honest enough to tell her that.

And, if you can work out an acceptable price for a one night stand...take it.
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 04:24 pm
You have forgotten the FRIENDS part of the deal. Just hanging around together getting to know each other.

You jumped right into the B part and then you are shocked that these women think it’s a financial arrangement, not a friendship that grew into a relationship.

You want a sex partner on call at your convenience. Expect to pay for that.

0 Replies
 
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 06:58 pm
@Frank Apisa,
At 1:49 I text her to ask when can we link up. It took her almost an hour to reply and she just said, "To meet?" My reply was yes. It's now almost 9 PM and she hasn't replied yet. No, I'm not just trying to jump into this for the sex. And as one other person mentioned yes, I know what the "F": in FWB means. I have no problem texting and chatting until she feels comfortable enough to meet. We can meet for coffee somewhere but as she stated, being a single mom she doesn't have the ability to just go out to meet anyone. I'm fine with that. But again, almost 6 hours later and not a peep from her as of yet.
0 Replies
 
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 06:41 am
@Frank Apisa,
Well, it's now almost 9 AM the following morning and she still hasn't replied yet. I guess she doesn't want to meet.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 06:57 am
@StarbucksFreak,
StarbucksFreak wrote:

Well, it's now almost 9 AM the following morning and she still hasn't replied yet. I guess she doesn't want to meet.


Captain Obvious.

Sounds like she met up with someone providing more money. Basically you are as disposable to her as she was to you.
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 07:43 am
@Linkat,
The thing is that she never replied with any particular dollar amount so to say she met up with someone who was providing more money is a bit presumptive. Again, I wasn't expecting her to just jump in the sack the first time we met but don't give the impression that you want something but then drag your feet in order to get it. If you say you want good sex and some compensation along the way they let's chat, work something out and go from there. Don't send me a "good morning" text on Monday then don't say anything else till Wed or Thurs.

And then again, I'm one of those guys whose ego will not be shattered if you just come out and say "I'm not interested anymore."
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 09:33 am
@StarbucksFreak,
If a woman wants you to give her money before intimacy occurs she probably regards it as a business transaction, not “good sex.”

Let’s face it, if you were that good at sex word would get around and you wouldn’t have to pay for it.

You seem quite happy paying for sex but like a lot of “johns” you’ve convinced yourself it’s something more than a prostitute client relationship.

That’s all this is, these women are not your friends, you are a customer, nothing else.

Get over your squeamishness about dealing with the reality of your situation, stop fanning about with amateur prozzies and get a professional.

I doubt very much that someone like you really can be friends with women. As far as you’re concerned they’re just potential sex partners.
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 11:03 am
@izzythepush,
Look, I have no problem going for what I want. I'm not looking to wine and dine a woman for weeks or months with the hopes that she might give me some. When I'm ready for a relationship I'll go down that road. I posted my profile on a site and I was clear about what I wanted. She hit me up, not the other way around. And even though she was older than what I was looking for and she even stated that I continued to chat with her. My profile said nothing about me willing to pay. She was the one who suggested that. However again, she mentioned "good sex" and some compensation from time to time. From time to time does not mean every time. I do not mind helping you out occasionally when you need a little here and there. But what I don't want is a woman who doesn't work and prefers to sit at home all day and just make her money on her back. I also don't want a woman who thinks that every time we meet I need to come with cash in hand. When asked what she does she stated that she was a loan advisor with a mortgage company, so thinking she's just not making minimum wage nor is she living in the poor house or the projects. I just don't want this to turn into a I have to pay every time I want to meet up. I'll leave her alone if that's what she's thinking. Women who are in a P2P situation aren't just dealing with one guy. They are seeing multiple guys and I do not want to be the next horse in the stable.

Funny thing is that the other girl I deal with who has the live in boyfriend has been hitting me up all week asking for this favor or that favor. Several weeks ago she asked me for $20 to get her son a haircut for school. I said sure and sent it to her. Now she has been hitting me up for rides to and from work but she must not realize I work too and I can't just leave my desk to come run her around. Today she asked if I could come take her to her job to get something or to put in her hours. I told her I go to lunch at 1 so if I could run her to her job could I hit. My thinking is that if you ask me for something not everything is supposed to be free. Give to get. Her reply was no because she's worried about her money and she's gotta pay for her room. Her and the bf are currently staying in an extended stay motel. I'm not going to keep doing things for you for free with nothing in return. I helped you out with your son's haircut but don't keep coming to me with your hands out if you're not going to reciprocate with something. You don't have much to offer other than sex so that should be your bargaining tool. If I'm wrong then sue me.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 12:21 pm
@StarbucksFreak,
Call it what it is, stop pretending.

I’m not moralising btw. You need to be honest with yourself about what you’re doing if nothing else.

You might want to think how a future partner might feel about your use of prostitutes.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 12:25 pm
@StarbucksFreak,
She was the one who mentioned good sex, you don’t say.

She’s a prostitute, she’s not going to say you were a lousy shag, that’s not how they make their money.
StarbucksFreak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 02:03 pm
@izzythepush,
Izzy,

I honestly do not think or believe that this woman is a "prostitute". In this situation she stated that she was just looking for "good sex" due to her situation about being a single parent and doesn't have time to just get out and mingle. Yes, she mentioned some sort of financial compensation at some point but technically, does that make her a prostitute simply because she may need a little financial help every now and then? Had she been, as you say, a prostitute, the minute we started chatting and texting she would have given me her price list and possibly set up a time and a place to transact business. I'm having a hard enough time just getting her to agree to meet so we can just meet. A "prostitute" is not going to casually chat for several weeks wasting time. She's gonna be upfront about her rates and what's included. Asking for money upfront is one thing, but saying, "hey, can you float me $50 to help out on my power bill" or "I need a little extra for groceries" and "swing by this week, my baby will be at grandma's for a few hours" in my book doesn't rise to the level of a "prostitute." Again, if I'm wrong then I'm wrong.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 02:12 pm
@StarbucksFreak,
You can tell yourself whatever you want.
0 Replies
 
 

 
  1. Forums
  2. » FWB (2021 terms)
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 09/20/2021 at 08:38:20