Encouragement for Single Mothers?

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I often see posts on social media that viciously judge, degrade, stereotype, discriminate against and even victim-shame single parents, especially mothers. This content often blames the victim in cases in which she became a single mother because her partner was abusive and she needed to leave to protect her and her child(ren)'s safety. It doesn't seem to matter what I say to reason with these types of losers. They still say stupid things like "Well she chose him", "She married him", "She had a child out of wedlock with him." I wonder just what it is about the statement "Abuse is a choice and there is no excuse for it" is it that some people don't understand.

I know there isn't much I can do to reach the judgmental bullies as they are probably abusers themselves but was just wondering if anyone has ideas as to how I can encourage and strengthen the ones they are trying to reabuse...even though said bullies often try to take away the encouragement I attempt to give them too.

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[+3] - jespah - 09/06/2021Yep, those folks are stupid, and you may be onto something in terms of them potentially being abusive as well. I think one thing you can do with the folks who are on the receiving end is to give...

@FearlessDiva,

Yep, those folks are stupid, and you may be onto something in terms of them potentially being abusive as well.

I think one thing you can do with the folks who are on the receiving end is to give them support and hope.

If Betty keeps hearing from Don that she's a bad person, she's stupid, and she can't do anything right, that's probably going to become her self-talk after a while.

So tell her the things she does right. You're not a bad person, Betty. You're kind and generous and unselfish (use examples here). You're smart - remember how in school you always got the Spanish homework right (again, lead with specific, germane examples if you can)? And you do plenty right. Look how good you are with little Charlie. You're doing a lot right and should be proud.

See where I'm going with this?

Betty (and anyone like her) needs a gentle counter to the self-talk (and abusive talk) she keeps hearing. She needs counter examples that mean something to her.

Even something small.

* You make the world's best tacos, did you know that?
* You've always got such a great manicure. Can you show me how you do that? 'Cause to me, it's just a mystery.
* Taking in that stray kitten was so sweet and loving.

Hope this helps.

PS You're good to want to help people -- but recognize that abusers will have no problem lashing out at you if they think you're messing with what they see as a good thing. So please be cautious.

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@FearlessDiva,

I am not quite sure what you want to do. You want to encourage people you don't know? Are you looking for practical advice?

1. Getting into fights with strangers on the internet doesn't help anyone (believe me, I have personal experience with this). Offering support to strangers on the internet doesn't help anyone either. Neither does reposting random memes even if they are positive. Actually, there is very little good that can be done on social media..

2. If you care about this as an issue, you should find an organization that you believe in. There are many organizations for battered women. Turn off your computer. Volunteer your time.

3. If you have friends who are single parents, be a good friend. Be supportive. Listen to them. The biggest need for many single parents is time. If you want to help, offer to take care of their children so they can have time off.

Encouragement for Single Mothers?

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