@Pwebster,
Yeah, no. I mean, if you're 19 and unaware or had a short engagement, yeah, you might not have seen the signs or understood what they meant. But otherwise, you can pretty much tell if someone is lazy or mean or mocking or passive aggressive ... and frankly, this should have been dealt with in the early days of the marriage, not at age 50.
Anyway, next time it'd be good for you to alert us that you just want to vent, then you wouldn't have to defend your position and we wouldn't waste our time.