@BennytheJet,
There is nothing you can say to me that I would consider an Assualt, The only possible exceptions would be an actual credible threat of physical violence, slander (that people believed) or violating my privacy.
You can't offend me unless I choose to be offended. And no matter how stupid your statements are, they don't hurt me at all.
In the US, there seems to be the idea that if I am offended, that it is your fault. I have never accepted this.