Feeling down :-(

Montana--

Atta girl. You're bouncing back like a sophisticated woman of the world.

Eva--

Wonderful quip from Mr. Gladstone who was speaking of a Member of the Opposition:

"He's a self-made man who worships his creator."

This whole BBQ no-show thing is crummy.

I've been wondering if any of it is a regional/cultural thing. Some types of events around here are considered more pop-in/drop-in/casual, while others are more formal in their expectations (for both the inviter and invitee). How are BBQ's generally handled where you are, Montana? Invitation-style/word-of-mouth/potluck/fully hosted ... ?

Noddy
Awwww shucks, thanks :-D

Beth
As far as I know, parties here are by invitation. This really caught me off guard because every time I've had a party, I'd call people to invite them and they came, but that was back in the states.
There is a strong french click going on here and I think that has a lot to do with it.
When I first started working at the shop, I was a bit uncomfortable for the first few weeks because I was placed at a table with 10 people who are all french and the only one who talked with me was the sexy green eyes who works next to me.
After a few weeks everyone started to warm up to me and now we're all friends, or so I thought.
Maybe I just don't fit in with their click.

I don't think discourtesy is part of the ethos of any particular clique.

The expression "spoiled for choice" applies to some people in nearly all groups of the Western World.

We're conditioned to think that our leisure time belongs totally and completely to us. Work for the paycheck. Play with the paycheck. We have radio, television, computers and the internet and all manner of captive musicians awaiting our pleasure.

The Crowned Heads of Europe a few hundred years ago lacked the scope of On Demand entertainment that is available to any teenaged twerp. You want drama or comedy or rock or rap or opera or porn or conversation with a friend or on line shopping....

Because so much variety is instantly accessible, many people live for the moment and don't make firm plans for social events. The notion that a hostess has put money and energy into planning an evening simply doesn't occur to them.

People!

All these possibilities and many more can be summoned by punching

Throws hands up in the air and says "oh well"!

Maybe the clique isn't fully prepared to accept you yet, Montana.

That doesn't make not showing up any better.

Have there been any other get-togethers involving work people this summer that you have/haven't been invited to? Do they regularly hang out together outside of work? Are they a long-established 'gang/clique'? Or just plain old rude?

Trying to break into a crowd as a newcomer can be tough.

Some of them hang out together outside work and one of my guests that actually showed up at my party is having a party Saturday night, which I was invited to. I'll be going to that one, but I know a lot of people won't show up there either.
Everyone at my table told me they weren't going, but I'll be there with my bells on.
At least her party isn't a BBQ and she doesn't have to worry about food.

I think it'd be awesome, Roger. ... I saw this bargain offer on the Canada Rail website. We can't take advantage of it because at least one person has to be 60. Mr. P is balking at a 3-day train trip, especially each way. I'm going to check into a flight return but ...argggghhh... why are the trains so slow? Comfort on the Canada Rail -- Senior Discounts






I've wanted to visit that part of Canada since we drove to Maine and didn't make it any further. I don't know much about the area, so why am I interested??? Guess it's that Scottish connection, plus it's on the sea, which means a lot to me. Gonna be fun to learn about N.B. Montana.... <dragging out a map> I've already read that the Univ. of N.B. was the earliest public university in N.America and gave out the first degree to a woman in the entire British empire. That's v.cool.




And I'm checking out this amazing place: Mingan Archipelago National Park Reserve of Canada. Look like you could get there by ferry from N.B. What a great trip this can be.

I would have come.

we can maybe come up by boat.

Piffka
It really is a beautiful part of Canada and I'm looking at the ocean as I'm writing this. You'll be glad you came :-D

Bella
You welcome to come next year ;-)

Farmerman
That would be my prefered way to travel :-)

Montana, to be honest, I haven't read the whole thread, just the first page. But I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you were disappointed like that.

I once had a boss who always invited our whole department for a Christmas party every year. She'd spend days cooking and preparing things for it. One year, I couldn't attend, and let her know well in advance. But everyone else in our department said they'd be there.

I was amazed when I came back in after Christmas and found out that everyone in that dept. failed to show up at the boss' party. Most didn't bother to call her either. (She still had plenty of family and personal friends there, but still) She was really pissed at them too, and I didn't blame her. In my book, that's not only rude as hell -- but to do that to your boss?? -- is just stupid...

Just goes to show you, some people are just a**holes. And I totally agree with everybody here who has said that calling at the last minute to cancel is not acceptable either.

Unfortunately, people are often just lazy. But as far as I'm concerned, if you make a commitment to attend someone's party, you get up off the couch, turn off the TV, get cleaned up and dressed, and GO!!

No wonder so many people today don't want to be bothered to entertain.

But there is one good thing that came out of this experience, Montana....now you know who the good ones are!

SC
I couldn't agree more. I was and still am hurt by it, but I am now planning an A2K party for next year and I'm very excited about that. How would you like to visit Canada and come for a BBQ at my place this time next year?

You're right. Now I know who the good ones are ;-)

Montana, that would be coooool! I've never been to Canada. But I'd love to go and meet you. Sounds beautiful where you are too. That must be wonderful to be able to look out at the ocean. I love the ocean.

Then you sure would love it here. You have a year to plan and some of the sites here are breathtaking.
I would love it if you'd join us :-D

I've had many successful big and small parties, but I still remember one where I bought steaks (steaks!) for twelve people and eight (eight!) didn't show. I was really thrown by it.

I found out some time later that was the evening one friend left her husband...

So that leaves six. I don't remember who those people were now, all these years later. Eh!!!! <waves hand dismissively>

Obviously, from what I've read from all of you, it happens to the best of us.