I think BiPolarBear is having a little fun with me....

I received in the mail today a magazine from a conservative book club. The club is entitled "American Compass -- The Conservative Alternative" I skimmed through the magazine and discovered such literary heavyweights as Michael Savage, Zell Miller, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Anne Coulter, Sean Hannity, and, of course, the Shakespeare of our times, Chuck Norris.

What the hell are the Conservatives thinking? If they're trying to recruit new members, surely they could have come up with a better group of writers. I mean, they already have the illiterate crowd in their corner and if they are now seeking recruits that are capable of reading , wouldn't if make sense to offer someone a bit more stimulating and convincing than Chuck Norris?

There was one book offered by the title of "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids" The book was described thusly...


Responding to the issues and concerns of today's teens, O'Reilly provides straightforward advice on surviving in school, at home, and in the real world. Here are his thoughts on bullies, spoiled kids, sex, drug abuse, cultivating positive relationships with parents, peers and teachers, and much more.

I read that and became very distraught. Why couldn't Bill O'Reilly have been around during my formative years? Where was he when I needed his tutelage? With his guidance I probably could have cultivated a positive relationship with my parents rather than murdering them with an axe.

Another book is entitled "God and George W. Bush"
President Bush isn't shy about his faith -- which drives his enemies wild. Examing Bush's life and public record, Paul Kengor shows us a man who walks humbly with his God, but believes it is our duty to do what God called us to do -- whatever Maureen Dowd may say.

I can picture Bush walking humbly with God. "Hey, God", says Bush, "How about if we kill about 100,000 of those brown people? Just for kicks."

"I'm not sure Maureen Dowd would like that." says God.

"Who cares what Maureen Dowd says!", replies Bush. "Let's kill the bastards!"

Yep, some fine reading there. I'm sure Bear is chuckling right now. He's probably telling Squinney, "You're not going to believe what I sent Gus."