The Reality of Covid-19 Is Hitting Teens Especially Hard

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I have a teen - and one that suffers from high anxiety so this was an important read for me - I know my teen has had several breakdowns and difficulty having any motivation - no matter what virtual social things I try to encourage her on (virtual performance training, virtual college visits and of course virtual classrooms) - here is an excerpt from a (according to the writer) motivated and high achieving senior in high school.

“I’m trying to deal with the fact that my high school career is over,” she says. “Losing track and field, prom, and graduation sucks. And there’s no way to cope with it because I’m just never going to get to do those things. It feels like the last four years of hard work have been for nothing.”

Teens are ill-equipped for this crisis. There’s science behind this idea, as Psychology Today writer Christine L. Carter notes: “Teenagers and college students have amplified innate, developmental motivations that make them hard to isolate at home. The hormonal changes that come with puberty conspire with adolescent social dynamics to make them highly attuned to social status and peer group.”

https://www.wired.com/story/covid-19-is-hitting-teens-especially-hard/

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[+3] - ehBeth - 04/18/2020Looks like another good reason to back off on promoting grad and prom as important things (not necessarily as individual parents - as societies, and sometimes parents) . they aren't. never were....

Exercise and lots of it is what she needs...

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@Linkat,

Looks like another good reason to back off on promoting grad and prom as important things (not necessarily as individual parents - as societies, and sometimes parents) . they aren't. never were.

Superhard to fight off the industries that have developed around them in some countries on top of basic need of some teens to be parts of groups.

I guess it's a good time (is that possible?) to work on what matters. I see it happening with parents of younger children around me. They've really started to pivot on what they are teaching their kids. Less focus on the raft of activities they used to push outside of school hours. More focus on being good friends/neighbours/community members.

If prom/grad/track is what matters after four years of study, our society has failed those teens. Hard.

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@Linkat,

I really liked some of the things Federoff had to say in that piece (most of that article made me want to throw something at the writer - no wonder her kid is messed up).

Quote:

“If you are obsessively and overtly worried about coronavirus, or continuously mentioning how upset you are that their activities are canceled, your kids will likely have anxiety about it too. We all need to vent, but try to do it in a private place where your children can’t hear you.”

Fedoroff also suggests trying to create as much structure as possible in a teen’s life: family meals, workouts, and reasonable “virtual learning time.”

don't focus on what your child is missing and have structure. old-skool, but still good advice.

1 Reply

@Methen,

Methen wrote:

Exercise and lots of it is what she needs...

She gets it -- she attends her virtual work out 3 times a week and often works out with her sister.

Prior to covid-19 she played sports almost daily or worked - exercise is not a problem with her.

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@ehBeth,

For teens (at least my teen) it is not us around her - I keep (and her older sister) telling her about what are the current benefits - this is preparing her for college as she will have to be self-motivated there in her studies; for example.

The problem she is having increasing her anxiety is that certain friends are the doom and gloom kind. - those saying this is going to last through next year- etc., etc.

I tell her no one really knows how long this will last - you could be going to back to school in 2 weeks or it could be longer. We do not know. I tell her when you start texting, group chatting, etc. and some of the kids get bleak - just to shut the phone off, cut them off - and do not talk with them. I make it clear that I do the same with the news - when you surround yourself with negative people you are going to feel that way.

I pointed to her - the performance training coach - he is so positive all the time and full of energy - that is why it is so important to work out with him and the group virtually - it is very positive not just the exercising.

He, quite honestly, is great. He not only works with their exercising, but nutrition, and being good people. It will be great when she can go to these classes in person as well.

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@Linkat,

Its the social aspect that gets her and what I can of teens - friends are so important - being at school is so important...

Yeah prom and graduation may seem like it is overemphasized but in the end it is physically seeing and hanging with your friends that is what they miss. What I got from what this senior wrote is the prom and graduation are symbols that this is the end of their high school years and they are missing the end of being with their friends.

2 Replies

@Linkat,

I have some 'furloughed' teens and 20+ folks recently enter my 'field of view'.
Snowflakes are falling apart? No - They are, actually, paying attention.
They ARE aware of the bollux! And learn quickly.
VERY QUICKLY!
ALL, I've encountered, Are WELL aware of the Current HYPERBOLIC state of play.

0 Replies

@Linkat,

Missing their friends, with Zoom, facetime, text, snapshot, etc at their disposal?

No, I’d say it’s the routine that’s been disrupted. The something to do. The getting out of the house. The movement.

If anything, they are bored with the one dimension of it all- staying in the house.

Gonna be a lot of people with PSTD after this.

2 Replies

@PUNKEY,

Really? You think Zoom and facetime, text etc is the same as being with your friends?

Not even close. I am an adult and I can see the difference.

You cannot play a sport, you cannot hug, you cannot participate in a play or musical, you cannot do anything as you would as part of a team.

There is a reason why we try to get kids off social media, their phones and computers - it is living in the real world.

Funny all these parents that try to get kids off their computers and electronics and want them outside and interacting with others and not via electronics.

The one good thing about this and teens - (at least I hope) - is they will now appreciate real face to face human interactions.

1 Reply

@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

I have a teen - and one that suffers from high anxiety so this was an important read for me - I know my teen has had several breakdowns and difficulty having any motivation - no matter what virtual social things I try to encourage her on (virtual performance training, virtual college visits and of course virtual classrooms) - here is an excerpt from a (according to the writer) motivated and high achieving senior in high school.

“I’m trying to deal with the fact that my high school career is over,” she says. “Losing track and field, prom, and graduation sucks. And there’s no way to cope with it because I’m just never going to get to do those things. It feels like the last four years of hard work have been for nothing.”

Teens are ill-equipped for this crisis. There’s science behind this idea, as Psychology Today writer Christine L. Carter notes: “Teenagers and college students have amplified innate, developmental motivations that make them hard to isolate at home. The hormonal changes that come with puberty conspire with adolescent social dynamics to make them highly attuned to social status and peer group.”

https://www.wired.com/story/covid-19-is-hitting-teens-especially-hard/

Kids have been very poorly parented and very poorly served by the education system, as I have been yapping about for many many years at volume. These youth we have today are the least prepared for the reality they will face during this life that have been seen in maybe forever. Lots of pain and disappointment is in their futures.

We could have done better work, we chose to not.

Now our kids pay.

0 Replies

@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Really? You think Zoom and facetime, text etc is the same as being with your friends?

Not even close. I am an adult and I can see the difference.

You cannot play a sport, you cannot hug, you cannot participate in a play or musical, you cannot do anything as you would as part of a team.

There is a reason why we try to get kids off social media, their phones and computers - it is living in the real world.

Funny all these parents that try to get kids off their computers and electronics and want them outside and interacting with others and not via electronics.

The one good thing about this and teens - (at least I hope) - is they will now appreciate real face to face human interactions.

Camilla Paglia talks about how her students are year by year increasingly incompetent at in person interactions, due to lack of practice..Due to too much screen time..this pandemic will only make that problem worse.

0 Replies

@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

Missing their friends, with Zoom, facetime, text, snapshot, etc at their disposal?

No, I’d say it’s the routine that’s been disrupted. The something to do. The getting out of the house. The movement.

If anything, they are bored with the one dimension of it all- staying in the house.

Gonna be a lot of people with PSTD after this.

As poorly put together as so many are now.... with as weak and shallow as so many are now...no doubt.

0 Replies

@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Its the social aspect that gets her and what I can of teens - friends are so important - being at school is so important...

Yeah prom and graduation may seem like it is overemphasized but in the end it is physically seeing and hanging with your friends that is what they miss. What I got from what this senior wrote is the prom and graduation are symbols that this is the end of their high school years and they are missing the end of being with their friends.

Boo-Hoo

Wait till they figure out what a Depression is.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

You really do not understand anything about mental illness - do you?

And if you read this article at all you would see the kids saying they understand why this being done - understanding about something still does not change the fact of what impact this has mentally on a developing brain. One in which being social is a huge impact to their development.

You say boo hoo - but would you boo hoo when teens start committing suicide because of depression? Depression is a true mental illness and just saying suck it up does not solve it.

You say what true depression is? Have you been around it? Have you seen teens take drastic steps because of depression?

Do a little reading and you will understand - this is not about pampered kids not getting their way. This is about kids that their minds are still developing and they are learning how to handle these situations.

A depression in the economy has nothing to do with real mental depression. I guess you are lucky that you have not experienced either yourself or with someone close to you. You are very fortunate.

I would deal with an economic depression way before with a mental depression.

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