Guatam - you be a straaaaaange man....
I have been thinking of the difference (as I see it!) between emotionality and weakness. This was crystallized in my thinking by recent experiences with a friend who said/did some things that I found upsetting - and I cried. Now, sadly, I am a weepy sort - pain in the bum it is, but there you have it. Drives me nuts - I am haunted by the spectre of testifying in court and being cross-examined meanly and bursting into tears! Hasn't happened yet, but it COULD.
Anyway - I prefer if friends and such ignore any tears, and they go away usually, as soon as I stop trying not to cry (weird, but sort of makes sense, I guess) - I understand why it happens and all, but I have sort of had to learn to live with it.
Now this particular friend believed, I think, that teariness = weakness. I do not believe this. I believe that we can be labile emotionally but still get on and do what has to be done and survive really hard stuff and such - in fact, I believe I am a strong, but very emotional person.
I find myself wondering what others think. Do many people believe that emotionality correlates with weakness? Is this a thing that men, trained, generally - (though I have a few quite leaky male friends, bless 'em!) - not to cry, tend to believe more than women do?
Since I could not find any sexual connotations in the latest thought plaguing the mind of our most favorite (amongst the millions Ozzy bunnies, who are breeding faster than the speed of cooking bunny stew), I am forced to respond with some non sexual (indeed a rarity) thoughts of mine.
I belong firmly in the camp (no pun) of people who think that crying is indeed a sign of weakness. To keep it very short, else I will loose the train of thought, while being emotional should not considered as weakness (after all we are human beings, not stones) letting emotions overwhelm you (resulting in aforementioned salty streams of water from the reservoir of eyes) is definately a weakness. A human being should always be in control of his emotions, rather than the other way around. The "mind" should be stronger than the "heart", the "practical" side of things than the "emotional" side.
Not that I am saying that crying is bad. Every once is a while emotions will get the better of us, you cant win all the time can you ? Even I cry (and these days quite frequently for some reason), but I don't let anyone see my tears, as I dont want to appear weak - and apart from that, crying, letting emotions overhwhelm you, is something very personal and should not be shared.
Did I make sense ? No ? <sigh> I should stick to sexual thoughts only !
Hmmmmm....well done! Kept those neurones clear of the nether regions for quite a space.
Hmmmmm again.
What are these "Hmmmmmmmm"s for ?
They denote thought processes...
A stiff upper lip or soggy eyelids ? Pragmatics or emotions.....
I think if you bottle it all up inside, you end up with migrains and stomach acid.
So MEN, be a MAN and shed a tear or even 2 if you can. In fact let it all hang loose like a long neck goose. You'll feel so much better, specialy when an attractive young lady gently puts her arm round your shoulder, a Kleenex under your nose and says "BLOW"
Do I detect a trace of sarcasm there, OAK?
OK, Gautam - do you feel the same way about the public expression of anger, or humour?
I am not one for not making understatements, AOK!
dlowan wrote:OK, Gautam - do you feel the same way about the public expression of anger, or humour?
No not really, because both these are very "external" emotions - while grief, tears are very very private, very "internal" emotions.
Don't think I can explain it any better though
Hmmmmmm - 'tis nowt but a social construct - in my view!
dlowan wrote:Hmmmmmm - 'tis nowt but a social construct - in my view!
Not sure what you mean by that, the bunny of all bunnies
I mean that our beliefs about which emotions are ok to display more openly are a product of our social conditioning, Gautam of all Guatams!
Just like everything else I suppose
Actually, I believe quite a lot of our behaviour is "hard-wired" - but the acceptable expresson of emotion varies so much from culture to culture, and I see so much quite brutal pruning and shaping of boys in particular, that I am pretty sure this one is predominantly cultural.
