How to deal with two high strung bosses?

Ugh is right. Some people can be diverted with a little humor....but it really has to be a light touch........good luck. Try to never let her see you upset, some people get off on seeing people upset. I will never understand why anyone would want to flatten the enthusiasm of their team, it's never useful and it doesn't inspire loyalty or industry.

Is there a way you could write her an anonymous letter? Be nice but be honest. Tell her that you realize the company is struggling, but the workers would rather see her as a leader rather than a "boss". Tell her that everyone is doing their best, but people can't do their best work when they are feeling their worst. Anything to let her know that you are all in the same boat, and it takes coordination and cooperation for everyone to row together.
How's that for "company-speak" ?

@ DownThumb
I thought you quit.

I'd get ahold of this person and ask what you might expect from the new VP

I wouldn’t recommend an anonymous letter. I’ve never heard of anyone sitting calmly and saying “Huh, gosh it didn’t occur to me it was offensive”. People get either angry or embarrassed or both.

I have gotten in touch of other people who know her as a boss. And it isn't pretty - according to one - she got a pregnant woman so upset she was in tears - stuff like that.

I know her personally so it has helped her at the beginning - I also helped her team out when they were busy when I first started at the company - yeah she would get worked up at all of stuff and made things more difficult than needed.

I am the in between - so I will probably be the one dealing with everyone being stressed and calming them.

I've never heard of that either. Since you got such a vast number of votes in favor of your recommendations and I suffered such a humiliating defeat, you are evidently right and I am wrong. Yes, I admit you flattened my enthusiasm a bit, but maybe I'll get over it.

This is not a competition, certainly not for 'votes'....I simply viewed it differently. In theory, maybe a note from 'unknown places' would turn a bad boss into a good boss....just not in practice....

So, I didn't win anything...and you didn't lose anything.

Bosses will be bosses. If you dont want to quit this job then stick to your work and only say Yes Sir/Madam to keep them calm

I see you are new here, so let me explain how things work around here. You see, there are two groups of people. There is the "Old Guard" (people who have been here for years), and then there is "Someone Else". The Old Guard is happy to offer there advice, answers to questions, etc. to someone else. However if someone else treads on their turf and answers a question, some members of the old guard downthumb whatever answer they give. It is an attempt to make people feel unwelcome. I don't know, maybe they just like seeing old guard names.
You were down two points for saying " Bosses will be bosses." Go figure. I bumped you back up to 1 just to give them something to do.
As a bonus, they will get to downthumb my previous messages and this one too.
So, to keep them happy, I encourage you to continue to post as much as you like.

Sorry I took it is there were people here that did not think that was a good way to go.

I think in some circumstances it might help - perhaps for a person newer to this role; someone that is trying to improve on their management skills..Unfortunately this particular person has been in this position for many years --- moved from various clients but basically the same position so I don't think a note would help and I could see it would anger her -- just from what I can see of her personality.

I think in part Sherza is right you do need to for a certain extent "grin and bare it" or is it bear it) any way - I also think there are things you can do to make it easier on everyone. I have staff that report to me from newly graduated from college to those that have 20 years experience and then I will be reporting to her.

I am trying to find a way to keep the quality of the work up while maintaining my staff as turnover has been a killer to us - I want to enjoy my time here as well as make it so that my staff enjoy their work and want to stay and be productive. I am trying to find a balance to deal with someone that can be high strung, negative, make things more difficult than they need to be while maintaining a positive relationship with her and meeting her expectations and while maintaining a positive working atmosphere for my staff.

I do want to keep this job in part that I am less than 10 years to retirement (at least that is my goal) and I have some flexibility in the job -- I work from home 3 times a week and can switch the days if needed...I have a good amount of vacation time...this flexibility is important to me and why I have not looked elsewhere for a job....not to mention the higher level you are, the less positions that open up.

Sorry I took it as people trying to help and getting downthumbed for their effort.

Oh my gosh I am going to go crazy.

We had a particular process in place that was running smoothly. This new boss wanted to change something - my opinion if it is working well why change it. We tried to explain why the timing was put in place as it was (we have associates overseas so that we can take advantage of the time difference); she acts adamant about doing it her way - this is one of those things I was warned about she wants her own way (even if logically it should be done differently).

Our meetings are longer and she keeps adding more ad hoc meetings which is a pain in the a$$ because it takes time from working.

This is going s*ck.

I know this is a late response, but about that time difference...I have a suggestion, but your the best judge of how this would work.

You could draft a memo informing the associates that: due to staff changes (we)or (Boss) we will(stream line) or (reorganize) or (redirect )certain functions/meetings/calls/faxes and we will be making these changes by (pick a date) (Im sure Im not describing the actual functions, but you can just use it as a template and make it yours.

Preferably get her to sign or authorize you to sign

What I'm thinking is if she sees on paper how this change will be made, she may decide the proposed change shouldn't be changed,

Or she will want to sign it as written and then at least you can inform your associates what's happening. and how the change will affect their duties.

If you know or even suspect she would take offense, don't do it.

Its been my experience that each time a new manager takes charge they want to change things to make it theirs.

(This is not my best effort, but it's 4 AM here and I can barely keep my eyes open, So if you see something you like use it, if my language was unclear I can take another stab at it later today, don't bother with any parts of that little blurb that don't work for your situation.)

Ive got to hit the sack

Thanks - I think it worked not the writing - but we discussed it as a group and she sort of conceded. I think she wanted her way, but realized our client functions differently so although it might have worked the way she did this previously with the other client, it would actually make things more difficult.

She is definitively a work in progress for us as a team, as yesterday for the first time I had two people voice how difficult it is to work with her. How they have had to bite their tongues and similar to me here, complaining of her control and running meetings that are not efficient.

Well, it's progress....control freaks don't relinquish control easily but it sounds like your meeting opened the door a tad. I would encourage everyone to roll with the punches and try not to give her any ammunition that would make her an even more hyper involved micro-manager. I wouldn't pretend that she is a basket of posies, but tacit agreement that she is a different sort of challenge might give everyone some hope. Who knows, your group might be able to jolly her out of her insecurities. Could be a win win!!!

That's my best case suggestion/but it may just be that the boss is a jerk and nothing will move her....Good luck.

thanks - and tonight - we had this issue - it was not a major issue more a judgement call and showing something inconsistent. Not wrong but perhaps not the best way. In any case I pointed out that this has been historical and I think the ideal thing would be to reach out to the client and instead of cleaning it up now (while you in the middle of deliverables - already sent some and are trying to send more tonight) - we reach out to the client explain the situation and say we will scrub these differences out and make them cleaner after this cycle of deliverables.

Make sense - no instead we are all working late trying to rush through the minor (non-impacting) differences - rushing always opens you up for more errors - well here it is after 6 and she needs to leave - decides it is now ok to just go with what we had and look at more details tomorrow -

I could have had these sent out in the morning...instead they are being sent after 6

Yeah I hear you, it’s maddening. Hopefully she will learn to depend on the people who can make things run smoothly .....and when she wants to make changes , ideally..she will take the time to listen to the pros and cons.

However that’s a slow process and there is no guarantee she will ever completely come around. However, there’s always a chance to make inroads, try to mask your frustration because that only makes them more obstinate.

All that being said, some people are just difficult and they like being difficult. It that’s how this shakes out, then your best bet is try to endure until she moves along.......(.I think you said she’s been shuffled around). P,ease don’t make yourself sick over this. Hostile work environments can be deadly to the quality of life...

I really hope this turns out well for you and your co-workers, good luck