Do you tell the truth

neither

I end the date. It's not a matter for discussion. Full stop.

Someone who thinks the details of my sexual history are their business are not going to be right for me. Sexual health is one thing - details of relationships? no. just no.

It depends on what you want from this date.

There is nothing wrong with lying in this case.

This is not a conversation for someone you just started dating. This is a conversation for someone you are committing to.

Now if you plan on having sex with someone they may want to know for health reasons - but even so that is what a condom is for.

I also agree it with one poster here - your history should not be discussed in detail even with someone you plan a commitment with - in part that is respecting a previous partner's privacy and can only cause issues - now in general this may be important as far as again potential health - but then you could all both go get tested if you think it is an issue.

I remember when we were meeting with our minister prior to getting married where you needed to answer open ended questions - we had a question like that. I said we discussed but did not talk specifics.

In casual dating, no one tells the truth about anything; not their age, not their weight, not the job they have. The goal is to persuade the other person about what a perfectly attractive, well-adjusted, successful desirable person you are.... truth just gets in the way.

Ok so if it is casual dating not any ones business what happens when we get more serious

You can always come clean when the relationship gets serious.

- "I am not really 36, Our relationship is getting important to me now and I want to be honest with you".

- "Hmmm, I am not really a former astronaut" either.

- "I figured that... and I am guessing you weren't really on the team that kill Bin Ladin either?...."

- "uh... no, I was trying to impress you. But you don't really perform infant heart surgery, do you?"

- "No.... I work in the hospital laundry."

- "And your breasts?".

- "Don't be an ass.... I think I love you and I want things to be honest from now on".

- "Ok. From now on."

[.... this rarely ever happens, so there is really no reason to worry.]

I am not suggesting lying like some on here. If you ever do develop into a serious relationship you already lost trust.

There are just things you don't talk about on a first date or early on. You share your more personal details to those that you are closest to.

My serious point is that most people (men or women) you date casually will lie to you. It is part of the game.

We all lie about our age, our weight, our jobs, our incomes, our experiences. This is because when we date, we want to present ourselves as more interesting, wealthy, confident and sexually attractive then we actually are. There are studies to back this up (if you care to google).

That is why I asked what you are looking for. If you are young and looking for a good time in a relationship that probably won't lead to marriage, then a few lies are to be expected. A romance is a fantasy... it is never real and is never maintainable (anyone who has been married understands exactly what I am talking about).

If you want to have fun with this guy, tell him you are a virgin. If you don't see yourself with him long term... what is there to lose?

So what I’m hearing is never tell even my future husband

You can answer his question without lying,
by giving him a vague answer.

You can also answer his question with a question of your own.
Such as, how many women has he slept with?

How many are a few, in your opinion?

Heterosexual men claim to have, on average, 14 sexual partners. Heterosexual women claim to have 7. Since the number of couplings is equal for men and women, this is mathematically impossible. At least one gender is lying.

I suspect both are lying.

I have alway heard women can say 3- the first one one long term and the one your with is three. Guys add numbers to say between 7-10 when most the time the number is lower

It was rare that I lied when I dated. I will say I did lie when I was on vacation before - simply because I did not plan on ever seeing these people before. I did not lie on all vacations or all the time - but on certain circumstances and not just in a dating/relationship sort of thing. Like when I was in England and these odd young men were at a pub and we convinced them we were from Australia - we simply did that for amusement. Or when I was on a cruise and told these young guys I was only 16 when I was in my 20s. Why? I don't know for amusement purposes.

But when I was truly dating someone - I didn't lie about my weight or age - to be honest I never talked about what I weighed. Why would any reasonable man ask that anyway? As far as my age I would be honest (other than that one instant I mentioned above) and I would shock men because I look so young for my age.

I didn't lie about my job - my income again why would you discuss your income with someone you don't know fully? That is very personal.

I guess I wasn't into game playing when I dated. I am certain there are people who are into game playing - I just wasn't and if I found out someone else I dated did that I would simply walk away from them. I guess I had enough confidence in who I was there was no reason to lie.

Or you could simply be honest and say I do not discuss intimate details with someone until I know them well enough or until we are exclusive or however you want to draw the line.

Sorry but until we are exclusive I cannot answer that question.

There are women who want to date an unreasonable man. I don't think I could be with a reasonable woman. Reasonable is for business associates, not for lovers.

It seems to alway come up after a few dates. If it is a one time date or other no one asks questions. I have in the past turned the question on them which they eagerly answer.
There still is a double standard and guys can have a high number but a girl is not

There is no double standard unless you say there is. Tell him proudly that you have had 50 partners, and see what happens. Or just tell him the truth. if you don't accept the "double standard", it doesn't exist.

If you don't like the "double standard" then stop living by it.