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Facebook question

 
 
chai2
 
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 02:13 pm
Stupid question # 878

I'm not really into FB, I maybe glance at my page a couple times a week. I make occassion posts, but that's about it.

Once in a while I'll message (that little lightening bolt icon) someone I know personally, but that's about it.

So a couple of weeks ago, I get a message that it seems was sent back in 2016. It was from a niece that I've never really met beyond when she was a small child. She was asking me about opening up communication with each other.
She's not a FB friend

So I responded explaining I'd just got the msg, but that sure I'd love to talk to her. I said that I was leaving the next day for a couple of weeks, and would not be check FB until I got back.

So I'm back, and just went on FB.

In the Message section I have alert saying "You missed a call from XXX on 08/19/18", in red.
Under that in blue it says "Call Again"

My questions are: What does it mean that I missed a call? We don't have each others phone #'s, and she isn't a friend.

Call again? When I clicked on that it talked about giving microphone access, etc. I don't want to actually verbally talk to her at this stage, but I sure don't mind messaging her back and forth.

Question: I guess I can message someone back and forth without actually friending them?

So I guess I can just send her another written message?

I know these are ultra basic questions, but as I said, I just don't FB much.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 980 • Replies: 21
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 02:55 pm
I don’t think you can message back and forth without being friends.

I get requests from people wanting to message mev - a Hi thing is sent, but about the only thing I can do is become their “friend” if I want to continue anything more. Then I can “wave” to them.

I also get regular requests to be a friend.

I’ve been hacked on FB so many times in the last 6 months, I don’t answer anything. It all started with a bunch of US soldiers, then guys working on the same oil rig or company.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:07 pm
@PUNKEY,
No, you can message without being friends. She has messaged me, and I have messaged her. I know this is my niece.

Again....my questions are:

My questions are: What does it mean that I missed a call? We don't have each others phone #'s, and she isn't a friend.

Call again? When I clicked on that it talked about giving microphone access, etc. I don't want to actually verbally talk to her at this stage, but I sure don't mind messaging her back and forth.

Question: I guess I can message someone back and forth without actually friending them?


So I guess I can just send her another written message?


ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:13 pm
@chai2,
FB messenger has a chat option - but you do need to enable the microphone. I've done it with a few people on FB - amazingly good sound and it's nice to chat free long-distance. I've got a sticker over the camera on the laptop as I don't want to 'dress' to video-chat.

Being friends on FB is no big deal as long as you've got your security set up well. i.e. don't open up friend lists etc. I've got a bunch of separate lists of friends so they don't get in each other's business unless there's a connection (there is also a big pod of just random people).

Send her a msg back saying that you're fine with text msging but don't want to talk to her at this point. I do that with a couple of vendors I don't want to be friends with.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:14 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
sure I'd love to talk to her.


if that's the wording you used, she probably thought you wanted a FB call

__

I actually liked getting FB voice messages on my birthday - I didn't think I'd like it but it was kinda sweet.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:16 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
My questions are: What does it mean that I missed a call? We don't have each others phone #'s, and she isn't a friend.


it is literally her trying to call you on FB - it is part of messenger
no phone involved
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:17 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
So I guess I can just send her another written message?


yes

the one downside to this is that msgs you send to non-friends don't show up in the regular msg section on FB - people have to look for them - that's why it took a year or more for you to notice her first msg
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:20 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
I get a message that it seems was sent back in 2016


this is what happens to non-friend msgs - they get buried in a non-friend folder that you need to look for

I notice it a lot in swap/marketplace groups - people mentioning that they'll be msging and that people need to look in the 'other' folder

__

sidenote - not doing FB marketplace? a lot of vendors are leaving e-bay/etsy and moving to FB marketplace to do their business as it's apparently free and easier to handle than e-bay in particular
PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:28 pm
I would beware of anything on FB that asks you to respond.

Continue to message, but she may have been hacked .

I was getting messages of “How are you?” And “Did you hear the latest news?” From people I knew on the Message. Dummy me, I opened them. They were ads for products and services. I also got hacked.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 03:29 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
I would beware of anything on FB that asks you to respond.


that is how the voice msgr on FB works

__

you're opening things that are not part of the FB internal system - very different issue
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 04:02 pm
@PUNKEY,
Punky, give me a little credit for having half a brain.

This is indeed my niece. I didn’t feel the need to go in depth as far as the content of her message, but she discussed specific family events including names, relationships, dates and things that would be known only to my family.

So, does anyone have the answers to my simple questions, or is this going to continue to fall down the rabbit hole?
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 05:26 pm
@ehBeth,
Sorry ehBeth, I didn't scroll down to read your responses. Only Punkey's paranoia.

Yeah, since I haven't ever talked to this person as an adult, I really don't want the inital akwardness of actually speaking to her and having it kinda go nowhere.

I did a little bit ago message her back saying pretty much what you said. That I'd love to communicate with her via text, but that I'm just not doing the phone thing.

You're correct in that she may have been literally thinking talk to her when I meant "talk" to her, if you know what I mean. I looked her up on FB and she seems like a pretty cool person.

My presence on FB is small, don't have specific lists or anything. Never even looked up how to do that. Overall FB just isn't that interesting to me. I just go on it glance around, and leave. I've no idea who I'm friends with, I know a few people I've accepted invites from that I was sure of who they were, but don't go out of my way to notice. I'm not anti social, more like really neutral about it. I can take it or leave it.

Thanks for your answers.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 05:57 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:


I actually liked getting FB voice messages on my birthday - I didn't think I'd like it but it was kinda sweet.


This is funny.

While South of the border, one morning I sent a text to my husband, just saying good morning and that I set up a dentist appointment for myself for the next day.

Then, a few hours later, I asked my friend C what the date was, and he told me. I said "Oh F#ck. It's my husbands damn birthday. Fortunately, he knows how bad I am with dates. When I sent him a cat or something wearing a birthday hat he responded, "I was wondering how long it would take to you realize"

A couple of days after that was C's birthday. Well, I think it was a couple of days later, can't really remember. Laughing I think I knew it was near my husbands, and when I realized it was his birthday, I asked C. when his was again.
He was just as disinterested about it as I am about mine.
But when Mexican friend S found out about it, she wanted to "make a party". C said please don't bother. We all three went to dinner anyway that night and she brought it up again. C said to just consider this his birthday dinner and that Chai could pay for it. Razz. Way to get a free dinner C.
I asked C if his father wished him a HB or even realized if it was that day. C said "Are you kidding? Norman?" I said, "Oh yeah, you're right"

Two days later, when S and I were at the pool, she brought up to me us doing something for C's birthday, and I said "We did. I bought you all dinner." She pushed it a little saying "Ohhhhh....but it's his birthday"

I told her she could do whatever she wanted, but I was going to believe him when he said he couldn't care less. I honestly don't know what it was she wanted to do. When I later told C about the conversation, he said he had been looking forward to a pinata.

I mean, I don't even know it's my own birthday until either the man mentions it, or if I happen to go on FB within a few days and realize a select group of people must have programed me into whatever calendar they keep so they can feel good about themselves, like they did something. All that does for me is make me feel momentarily awkward like "so am I supposed to be keeping some list of dates for people that are more than 9 years old, like they are going to notice who and who did not keep track?" Too much responsibility for me. If I can't remember (or care) it's my own, or my husband birthday, I sure can't be held responsible for remembering anyone elses. Honestly, I think it's sorta passive agressive.

chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 05:59 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:



sidenote - not doing FB marketplace? a lot of vendors are leaving e-bay/etsy and moving to FB marketplace to do their business as it's apparently free and easier to handle than e-bay in particular


Hmm... good idea. I'll look into it.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 06:13 pm
@chai2,
Just looked at it. It seems it's for selling things locally. It seems more like craigslist, which I would avoid for selling.

Said people can counter with offers as well, which I'm not into bartering. I do very little sales in my own state, let alone my local area. It's more like for used items, like it's an online garage sale.

Thanks though.

I tried the etsy thing, nothing moves much there. I found out that's a common complaint. Also in the past tried some other site similar to ebay, and although I made a sale or three, it wasn't worth it.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 06:14 pm
I'm such a curmudgeon. Laughing
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 06:46 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
It seems it's for selling things locally.


depends on how you set things up and where you sell

I'm on a few international buy/sell/swap pages. FB started sending me msgs when anything in my area of interest (not geographical area) appeared on marketplace. I set up a bit of a filter for some items, but yarn - yarn from anywhere I want to look at.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 06:48 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
if I happen to go on FB within a few days and realize a select group of people must have programed me


FB tells everyone when any of their friends have birthdays (I think you can turn it off but I need it to know when the fella's birthday is).
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 08:34 pm
@ehBeth,
hmmm. I obviously turned it off.

Ha! So you have problems remembering too?

ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Sep, 2018 09:21 pm
@chai2,
I take it a step further.

I used to argue with him about when his birthday is Smile FB prevents that.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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