Helping the Wee Cav cope...

I don't have any advice but just wanted to virtually hug you and the wee Cav.

(((((((buttercup and Wee Cav)))))))

A nest with sweaty underwear--yours and Paul's--might be a comfort for a dog suddenly alone-o all day long.

Remember, dogs are descended from wolves. If a wolf doesn't have an excellent reason for moving around, he takes a nap to store up energy for those occasions when excellent reasons apply. Domestic dogs, proud descendents of mighty wolves, do a lot of sleeping.

Of course wolves have their own ways of coping with death in the pack. Group howls--or individual howlers-- are not popular in most residential neighborhoods.

You may be borrowing trouble--or you may be sensibly foresighted. Do you have neighbors who would hear Wee Cav grieving and let you know before this becomes an entrenched habit and problem?

Hold your dominion.

Is there anyone who can spend time with the wee dog, either at your home or at theirs? Something to break up the long day and to provide a distracting change of pace?

If he does have to stay alone all day, try to vary your routine in some way, such as leaving the radio on (if you feel safe with that), getting him some new toys to chew on (especially Kongs and Nylabones, assuming this dog likes to chew, it can be a good stress reliever). Can you stop at home during lunch, or is it too far? Is it possible to take him for a walk in the morning, get him a little tired from the exercise?

Above all, try not to let him see that you're worried about him. No prolonged goodbyes at the door; it's important to maintain the right balance there. Easier said than done, I know.

Good luck.

I do have one suggestion, buttercup. Cav and I discussed the sixth sense of dogs, and I am certain that your wee spaniel knows that something is amiss. Try this. Find an article of Cav's personal clothing and let him sleep with it. Often that can be comforting, and gradually wean him away from the sorrow.

Buttercup - from your post I understand (if I'm mistaken kindly disregard this part) that Cavfancier, a poster I had seen once on a thread by Setanta about Pearl Harbor, has died and that a dog of the same name may be left alone in the house for 8 hrs/day.

First: please accept my sincere condolences.

Second: by all means hire dogwalkers, visiting twice a day (esp. if those 8 hrs with commuting may stretch into 10) no matter how old the dog is. Of COURSE dogs know impending death and actual death before WE do, so there's nothing to marvel at in that respect, but you can't possibly wish that the dog who's already had to deal with one misfortune starts feeling abandoned by YOU, too.

The thing to do is to have all the dogwalkers who'll be coming in go out for a walk in the park with you AND the dog (need I add!) first, so he gets to know them. Several walks may be necessary but since you seem like a decent person in worrying about the animal - and whatever the weather in Toronto, from where I see you're posting - you will not, I'm sure, shrink back from this. Doesn't have to be a long walk - round the block should do for purposes of acquaintance if a park is too far.

Please also consider that "he can hold it" may lead to renal failure in later years if the poor animal is daily subjected to such draconian discipline; last but not least please consider your own freedom of motion when your conscience is clear that the dog has been walked and (in a sense just as important) spoken to in a loving manner while you were gone for the day.

Once again, my condolences - I hardly ever post on this forum but the health and welfare of animals matter to me as much as they appear to matter to you. Thank you for thinking of a dog in spite of your difficult situation!

Thanks so far
Thanks everyone. The only problem is that I did all of our laundry yesterday, so there may not be anything left with Cav's scent for the wee Cav. I don't know how well dogs can detect epithelials.

HofT (glad you clarified your name in your siggie; I thought you were from the House of Telcontar), thank you for your advice and concern. I don't know if I can afford to have dogwalkers come in twice a day, but maybe once a day at lunch would be good. Until I move, my father-in-law works close by; I could ask him to stop by at lunchtime. After I move, though, I'll have to start looking...

And of course I'm thinking of the wee Cav (his name is Austin, by the way). He was our Cav's best friend.

Coats/jackets/hats/scarves/mittens.

My dogs nest with anything and everything I put down that I've worn. Unless they can find something of Setanta's to snuggle with. At one point, Bailey had developed a collection of 15 of Setanta's socks under a big floor pillow - I finally noticed the back of the pillow was waaay high

The idea of having your father-in-law stop in at lunch during the period of transition is a very good one. Austin already knows his granddad, and will get a bit of the love he'll be missing.

Depending on the neighbourhood you'll be moving to, there may be some walking/daycare options that are reasonable.

I'm going to try and haul timber over here.

Nice smelly shoes? Especially slippers?

I came across this the other day -- seems to go here:



http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=969617#969617

Father-in-law sounds like a great idea.

Hi, Buttercup. I'm glad to hear you will be getting back to a routine soon. So difficult, but necessary.

When one of our dogs died, the other mourned for what I considered a long time. For several months she walked around sad and droopy, and would go searching if she heard one of us mention the other dogs name, only to return, looking even sadder when she couldn't find him.

From that experience, I know they understand loss and sadness. It looks like you have already gotten good advice here. Try to find something with Cav's smell, and see about a walker at about halfway through the day.

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry I'm late gettin' here ...


I just read over the posts, and to my mind there's lotsa good advice here. In particular, havin' regular lunchtime visits from grandad strikes me as a great idea, if thats practical. Providin' the pup with somethin' Cav-scented could be very helpful too - doesn't hafta be clothes; shoes, boots, slippers, or even hats and/or gloves will work just fine, as might an often-handled tool or even the seat cushion from Cav's favorite chair - if that wouldn't be impractical.

If the pup doesn't already have a private favorite spot, it might be a good idea to see if you can generate one - sorta out of the way, but not really outta the stream of the house's goin's on - a corner, or under a table, somethin' of that sort - stock it with a comfy blanket, a few toys (replacin' em in the spot as they get moved around and left elsewhere - don't interupt the pup while he's at play, unless to join it with him ... just straighten up after him when he's done with whatever he drug off elsewhere) - likely, he'll get the idea pretty soon. An assortment of toys - old favorites and new ones, kept in or near "The Spot" is prolly a good idea - here at Timberland, we have a "Bone & Toy" corner in the mudroom (thats a foyer to city folk :wink: ) - the pups go there frequently to root for somethin' interestin', and when we straighten up the house, any puppy toys layin' around go right back there. Oh, and puppy toys needn't be exotic or expensive either; we've found empty plastic milk cartons and plain old knotted rags are great favorites

I'd recommend a regular routine of mornin' and evenin' excersize - a nice walk (weather permittin', of course, but be prepared to be a little adaptable; the pup's attitude toward weather may differ from your own, and this is about him, after all) every day, twice a day, at roughly the same time and along more or less the same route - while we may find sameness borin', pups appreciate familiar stuff. To a dog, a regular, familiar routine means all is well.

When you leave for work, do so with as little fuss as possible - don't "sneak out" necessarily, but don't make a production of it either. Very shortly, if not immediately, after returnin' from the mornin' walk is prolly the best time to leave for work (the pup'll prolly wanna go relax a bit followin' the adventure of The Walk), so arrange your schedule accordingly. You might wanna get in the habit of keepin' your "grab it at the last minute" stuff - purse, gloves, keys, briefcase, etc - in a convenient near-the-door spot to minimize the departure event. When you get home, the pup'll likely be real excited, but don't go overboard with your own "nice ta see ya again" routine ... be nice, but not overly effusive. In fact, it'd prolly be a good idea to make the pup's evenin' walk a regular part of your own homecomin' routine. Just get the leash and get goin' - don't pause to read the mail, check the answerin' machine, or take a shower. Take care of your own comforts and diversions when the pup's have been seen to - he depends on you. Its up to you if ya wanna leave food available durin' the day - our pups always have access to kibble; they know its always there, dependably, so they don't pig out on it, they just grab a bite or two here or there when the mood strikes - but plenty of fresh water is essential. Make sure the water bowl is big enough to last through your absence, and otherwise keep it full and change it often.

If you're gonna go the dog-walker/pet sitter route, either get plenty of references and let the employee and the pup get to know one another in the home settin' before turnin' 'em loose with one another, or use trustworthy freinds/family already well-known by the pup, if at all possible.

And remember - grievin' is natural - for the both of ya. Let each other help each other through the rough part ... if ya work on it together, it'll go a lot easier - on the both of ya.

Thanks again, everyone, for the sound advice. Today is the Wee Cav's Birthday (he is officially the answer to all questions today, as he is 42 in dog years). He went to the spa, and is now having a nap after his hard day being pampered. :wink:

For the time being, Cav's dad will be looking after the wee Cav when I go back to work. He's going to take him to his office for half the day. That will be fun; maybe the wee Cav will become an architect!!

Once I move in to the new place, then I'll start the hunt for a good dogwalker. I know that's going to take some time and a little extra cash.

Thanks again for the words of comfort and wisdom.

**hugs to all**

I knew I liked the Cav-Dad!

"This is Austin. He's my grand-dog. It's bring your grand-dog to work day. You didn't get the memo?"


Depending on your new neighbourhood, Buttercup, you may be able to find someone to trade off doggie visits with. Someone working different hours who could do Austin's mid-day visit while you do their dog's early evening visit. There are a few folks in my neighbourhood who've got arrangements like that.

Depending on the architectural office formality, or informality, dogs can do fine there.

Under drafting table space is good, if they still have d. tables there (we do). Just the right sized space for a 3 x 5 dog cushion....

Oh, that's such a relief, Buttercup! I was reading this & getting a bigger & bigger lump in my throat with each post. Not that there was anything wrong with all the suggestions made ... it was just the thought of 8 solitary hours for wee Cav each day, after being used to cav's constant presence. Very sad. So hooray for Cav's dad! Our hero!
Good luck on your return to work, Buttercup!

Buttercup - happy birthday for darling doggie! Great news about your father-in-law taking Austin to work for half the day - that does mean he gets 2 daily walks while you're at work plus of course has company.

Btw, don't underestimate the utility of dogs in offices: my late father always arranged interviews with potential new hires for Friday afternoons, when he could say he's leaving for the country in an hour so the presence of the dogs (Siberian Huskies) could be explained in the office. He often remarked that references could be misleading, and his own judgement mistaken, but the dogs were just plain never wrong - if they didn't seem to like the person that was conclusive.

About your move: new scenery / surroundings do mean new rules (for man and dog alike) so you may wish to do your dogwalking interviewing / introductions prior to moving to your new place. This way it all becomes a seamless part of the new environment and much easier for Austin to adapt. Best of luck to you both.

This is a personal recollection about dogs in workplaces that may amuse you, Buttercup:

Years ago I lived in Basel, Switzerland, and used to attend (for exercise) a ballet class 3 times a week. In case you're unfamiliar this involves a ballet master/mistress and folks in leotards hanging on to a barre (at the elementary level, which is mine!) while somebody is torturing a piano at the ballet master's indication.

The first time I went to that class I was stunned to see a piano player at a grand piano with a huge dog lying under it; the man really knew how to play, too. After the class I went over and asked him why he was playing to a ballet class, being obviously so well qualified for greater things. He smiled shyly and informed me he had played solo several times at Carnegie Hall and other great international concert halls but was happier where he was now. He added: "Now my dog can stay with me all the time, and besides - I spend all day seeing pretty ladies dancing!"

Sounds to me like a good set of priorities well realized.