first time gay relationship

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I am 38 year old indian guy. For years i have trying to avoid marriage but about 2years ago gave into my parents demand agreed to arranged marriage with a girl from india chosen by my parents. so i went to india about year ago and got engaged to that girl. Upon my return back to australia i went to this party and met this wonderful older guy whom i started talking . he was so interesting that i couldn't take my eyes of him while he talked . so after the party we went back to his place where he kissed me but rather than getting shocked i kissed him back and ended up spending wonder intimate night togather. we started meeting nearly everyday as we fall in I ve with each other and i have finally told him about my future arrange rather than getting angry he asked me to move in with him. I do not know how to tell my parents that I am in love with this guy and want to be with him because my parents do not know i am gay and like man.. my parents hate gay people and i fear they will cast me out of their family. what should i do ?do i choose family or love of my life?

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 661 • Replies: 6

@ausindian423,

Marrying this woman who you do not know and do not love is exceptionally unfair to both of you. At the absolute minimum, call off the wedding as a gesture of decency to her. She's innocent in all of this. You won't regret being kind to her.

As for your parents, you need to let them know that any woman they choose will not work out for you, and you need to tell them why. You're almost 40 years old and you are entitled to speak up for yourself and to live the life which makes you happiest.

But first call off the wedding. If your parents are self-aware at all, they'll at least figure out there's something going on. And you'll have set this woman free, which is 100% the right thing to do.

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I agree with jespah 100%!! It would hardly be right or fair to marry someone that you do not know or love especially if you are gay. That does lead me to ask a question though. Is this your first gay experience as you do not actually say either way? I used to work with a young girl whose parents wanted her to have an arranged marriage also, I do not know what happened to her but I know she certainly did not see it the same way.

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@Agent1741,

Yes it was my first gay experience. Before that i have never dated anyone . For some reason i felt uncomfortable dating a woman but had to give in to presure from my parents

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@jespah,

Yes I am planning to tell her but i am also scated my family will turn their back on me and will never have me in their life

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@ausindian423,

You need help and support. Even if you are over 40 having your family turn their backs on you is never easy. Have a look at the GBLT support groups in your area, there may be one that deals with people from your ethnic background.

You're not the only person who has gone through something like this, there are others and there is plenty of support out there.

This is what a quick google showed up, but there are lots of other helpsites.

https://au.reachout.com/articles/lgbtqi-support-services

Take care, good luck, and remember you're not alone

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@ausindian423,

Unfortunately, that's sometimes what happens. But like Izzy said, seek out area support groups because you're not the first person who's ever dealt with this. They'll give you tools for how to sit down with your parents and tell them. It will change their perceptions, yes. And it'll also change some things they thought would happen and maybe hoped would happen. That's the way it is. But being gay doesn't mean they won't get grandchildren or that you'll be unhappy or necessarily lose opportunities.

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first time gay relationship

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