Suggestions on How to Screw Over Your Boss and Boss' Boss

I've only done it to look for a badly needed aspirin, or, ahem, female product.

Paulaj – I have actually done this before. Be especially sweet and nice to some one who has screwed you or knows that you are the best friends. They get this paranoid look on their face.

Gus – that is an excellent idea (the paper idea). Did you try this before? Unfortunately he does not have a locked office. How could I discretely bring a vacuum into the office.

The dropping of the safe, although quite creative, would be too difficult – I don’t think I have access to the roof and as I am in the middle of the city, there is too much chance of error – I would not want to hit the poor homeless man by mistake.

Ah, shewofmn – we work in the city. Most of us travel by public transportation and driving would be parking in a public garage – don’t think I can find the car.

Jeepers you guys are creative. Oh, roger – a penthouse or playboy would be awesome – we have strict policies about sexual harassment.

The flowers are beautiful paula.

Guy one – married 3 young kids, kind of a wimpy guy, thinks he is a great communicator, breaks his neck nodding yes to his boss. Guy 2 – untrustworthy, thinks he is hot potatoes, walks the company walk and talks the company talk – no matter what it is. Married with one young daughter that has an odd name.

Material girl – unfortunately there are no private toilets so all the men would suffer. The seed thing is pretty creative though.

Shewolfnm – that is awesome

All I can say is you guys are evil!!!!

Ah! We're making progress - strictly for entertainment purposes, of course. Knowing both parties, and the company, you've got to work up something that just might be barely plausible as company policy, corporate culture, or whatever. Feed part of the line to guy 1 and part to guy 2, so they can reinforce themselves, so to speak. Sit back and hope they respond inappropriately to a nonexistant shift in corporate direction. CYA, 'cuz this is considered hardball.

Did she call us evil? Oh thank you, thank you. I've wanted to be evil for so long and no one's ever acknowledged it.

...

Plaudit after plaudit. It's almost more than the senses can bear.

If you have access to his computer you could try this.

My pet asshole got a free membership application pak sent to his office from a Gay-Liberation group. Went thru the whole place like wild fire, got to his wife and teenage kids in a day. Laughed my ass off for days! Cans of foam Sealant can royally screw up a radiator or a home AC unit, costing thousands. Super Glue Gel on wood toothpicks go well into locks, then break them off!! One prick got his mail forwarded to the local Police Department. They called him to come get it. He did AND found out about a couple unpaid tickets. Ain't life a Bitch?? Loud mouth next door to me years ago went on vacation for 2 weeks. I slipped into his backyard the night of the day he left and turned on his garden hose, never went back. My! And don't forget to put your "friends" car up for sale real cheap. Write in the ad that ya work evenings and to call after midnight. Go to some small time meat packer and take a 5 gal bucket and a lid. USUALLY you can get a bucket of blood for free if you say you are going to make fish bait out of it. Let it sit for a day then pour it out on your "buddy's" car or porch. Be creative! My inner child is a mean muther! Heard that one boss I had was going one a 2 week fishing trip without his wife. Got a girl friend to sign some touchie-feelie **** in a real girlie-girlie "I miss you" card along with a few taped in curly hairs with a final word of "Here's something to remember your "fishing trip". Ya can't guess how fast the divorce went thru!! I'm telling ya, ya gotta fight back and fight dirty!!!

Now those sound practical.

There are a zillion ways to get back at bosses or anybody else..
For example I had a long-running row with the 4 caretakers of the city council apartment block where I lived, so I set up a sting by tape-recording them saying uncomplimentary things about the council and then sent the transcript to the council and they were all sacked..

Craigslist ads: M4M personals ... phony yard sales that start at 6AM and say "just come around back!"... Or put the bosses phone number on.some dollar bills..

Love it!

Does his office have a ceiling fan? Comb out your (or someone else's) dog and put the hair on the top of the ceiling fan blades. No one notices it until the fan turns on, then poof! Everywhere! Especially if the man is allergic.

Take shrimp skins or some other seafood and stick it inside the ends of curtain/shades rods. It will stink to high heaven in a day or so and NO ONE WILL FIND IT!

Good thinking, I tried stink bombs once but their stink vanishes after just a few minutes.
Same with joke 'hot sweets', their hotness vanishes after a minute or two.
And itching powder is unreliable, it usually doesn't work at all.
Leaving a few empty bullet cartridge cases scattered around your offices and workplace is a good way of making everybody sweat thinking there's a gunman on the payroll, one boss was so worried that he called in the police to question all of us..

Here's another goodie, folks! A truly hideous stink bomb can be made by buy some liquid scents at your local sporting goods dept. A good mix is one bottle each of some buck (deer) lure, raccoon pee, and fox pee. Mix all three in a clean squeeze bottle like dish soap comes in. If your pet jerk has a mail slot cut into the front door of his house or appt. your day is made. Otherwise run it around the windows of their car, or whatever. This mix is worse than fried ass!!!

Haha and we could squirt it on his back!
We used to squirt ink on the back of our chemistry teacher, he always wore a dark blue suit so he and other teachers wouldn't notice it, but when he got home and took off his coat his wife probably freaked and said- "eeek what's all that on the back of your white shirt?" where it'd soaked through hahahaha!

PS- and at the end of science lessons we'd turn on the gas taps as we filed out at the end of the day, hoping the school would blow up in the night like the Hindenburg but it never did, satan himself must have been looking after it

I have never tried it myself, but I hear if you put a chunk of dog poo inside the window washer fluid container in a car it will dissolve and when the person uses the washer fluid it will be slightly foggy, but STINK! Lol. I've always wondered if it would really work, so if you do it, let me know.

I wonder if anyone ever really put Limburger Cheese on someone's engine block. Doesn't seem likely, but makes a good story.

I was once put on an "Earn your Dole" work scheme and it was a disaster. Me and dozens more unemployed people were told "Do it or we'll cut your dole".
As a result people with a grudge were sabotaging it left right and centre, worst case I heard of was when one gang who were cutting down trees along a rail line kept putting branches on the line to derail trains.
In my shrubbery-pruning gang, somebody brought a box of blank cartridges and kept throwing them on the bonfire when the supervisors back was turned and they exploded and the whole neighbourhood was in a panic thinking there was a sniper around hehe..

Unfortunate that this fabulous ideas all came years after I had said issue and no longer work there.

I will have to make note of these creative thoughts just in case.