0
   

Just in: gullible man with small penis is litigious

 
 
DrewDad
 
Reply Wed 16 Feb, 2005 11:21 am
Says, "my manhood ain't great, my mind ain't great, so why don't I earn some money for my ambulance-chasing lawyer?"

Surprised Customer Says Penis Pills Don't Work


LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A New Jersey man has filed a false advertising lawsuit against a maker of herbal penis enlargement pills, alleging the medicine does not fulfill its promises, the plaintiff's lawyer said on Monday.

Two similar cases, filed last year in Colorado and Ohio, accuse manufacturers of herbal dietary supplements, VigRx and Enzyte, of falsely claiming to be able to add substantial length and girth to a man's penis.

All three suits seek class action status and claim to represent more than 1 million total plaintiffs.

In the latest case, filed on Jan. 21 in New Jersey state court, plaintiff Michael Coluzzi claimed he paid $59.95 for a 30-day supply of Alzare pills but "experienced no increase in penis size," and then was unable to collect a promised refund from manufacturer Alzare LLC of Boca Raton, Florida.

Neither Alzare nor chief operating officer Scott Hammond, both named as defendants, could be reached for comment.

Coluzzi's attorney, Stephen DeNittis, said many men had been taken in by dubious claims that the product would add up to 3 inches (7.5 cm) to their penises by "very, very convincing" advertising, such as infomercials featuring doctors and porn stars.

"Males, for whatever reason, may be susceptible because of what they feel they lack," DeNittis said. "It was so believable I confirmed with an expert (that the claims were false) before I filed the lawsuit. They said they had done medical studies proving that it works."

The ads for Alzare tablets, comprised of ginseng, yohimbe bark, L-arginine and other ingredients, guaranteed results within a week and claimed a 95 percent success rate in the more than 100,000 men who have used it, the suit said.

But last year, the Center for Science in the Public Interest filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission saying the maker of Enzyte had not backed up its claims with science.

Although thousands of complaints have been registered with local government agencies and the Better Business Bureau, few lawsuits have been filed because the companies appear to be "judgment proof," DeNittis said.

"They don't have enough assets for plaintiffs to recover, and some of the defendants are fly-by-night -- they close up shop after they get sued," he said.

All three lawsuits claim that plaintiffs were unable to contact the companies for guaranteed refunds after spending hundreds of dollars for the penis enhancers.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,402 • Replies: 9
No top replies

 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Feb, 2005 11:56 am
small claims court for a measured outcome?
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Feb, 2005 11:59 am
Laughing

I have not yet read the article you posted drew..
but your Topic title is GRAND!!!!
It have me a good laugh.
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Feb, 2005 12:37 pm
What crap. Those pills don't work. The ACME Penis Extension Pump, however...now there's a good product!
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Mar, 2005 11:53 pm
Is I have repeatedly said.....


'You can put it in the hands of your lawyers, but it won't stand up in court!'.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2005 12:00 am
Actually, those pills work quite well. I doubled my size in a few months by religiously taking enzyte and the women now gasp and recoil when they see my fully erect two inch member wavering dangerously in the air.
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2005 12:09 am
And we've they've stopped being shocked at the size of your nose they have a laugh at how small your dick is!!
0 Replies
 
paulaj
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2005 11:27 am
Re: Just in: gullible man with small penis is litigious
DrewDad wrote:

Neither Alzare nor chief operating officer Scott Hammond, both named as defendants, could be reached for comment.

Well of course they can't be REACHED...there's nothing to REACH FOR!

Hence, the lawsuit.

I rest my case.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2005 01:20 pm
Hey folks, anybody got this guys address. I have created a remarkable and unfailing jar of "Crank Cream" that I can provide for the bargain price of $140.00, cash only, to be sent to my PO box which will be operating for one week. I may find a better price somewhere for a private mail drop, I'm sure everyone understands the need to keep overhead low, and to keep moving so they don't catch me. Money back guarantee.
0 Replies
 
Magginkat
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Mar, 2005 05:37 pm
Glitterbag, he should have purchsed the cream to begin with. I'll guarantee you that he would have gotten immediate results as he applied the cream!!

Add Kickykan's ACME Penis Extension Pump & he would have been in hog heaven for months!! Smile
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

How a Spoon Can Save a Woman’s Life - Discussion by tsarstepan
Well this is weird. - Discussion by izzythepush
Please Don't Feed our Bums - Discussion by Linkat
Woman crashes car while shaving her vagina - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Genie gets sued! - Discussion by Reyn
Humans Marrying Animals - Discussion by vinsan
Prawo Jazdy: Ireland's worst driver - Discussion by Robert Gentel
octoplet mom outrage! - Discussion by dirrtydozen22
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Just in: gullible man with small penis is litigious
Copyright © 2025 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 06/26/2025 at 09:01:15